What to do when you are in a mess and you don't know what to do?

Question

Sometimes you can't figure out what you should do especially when you are are involved in social problems and at the same time you don't like to let others to exploit the situation. What to do when you are in a mess and you don't know what to do?

Answer 1

A dicision is't a decision until you act upon it.

Answer 2

Well, if you were more specific about the situation, you might get better advice. But it would be good to "back off" from the situation so you can see it more clearly. Ask yourself "How did I get into this situation?" How much of it is my fault?" "Did I cause it to happen?" Analyze it carefully and ask yourself first what you need to do to get out of the situation. How will it impact others?, etc.

If you have a friend who is not part of the scene, you might get some independent advice ...and see how they see the situation. Sometimes someone not involved can be a big help.

This may not totally resolve the way you want it too...but you
need to consider what will happen when you remove yourself, and then stay out of it! Time does solve a lot of things...especially when you are not there to be manipulated, which might be happening. In other words, you may be the catalyst that is keeping it going...even if you don't intend to be.

The best I can say with almost no information.

Answer 3

I hear you, and you should know that we're all the same, sometimes.

For me, when I get like that - tangled, confused, blocked, defeated by my own overthinking - I break it down.
1. Break away from the negative thoughts. Do something else to get your mind off it. Go to the gym, have a cup of tea, go to the park, read a magazine
2. Revisit the mess when things have calmed down and write it out
3. Prioritise the problems and ascertain what you can tackle first that is within your reach
4. Accept that it is ok to fix the easy ones first. And ask for help on the hard ones.
5. Admit that some are too hard and perhaps even beyond your control to fix. For this part, I say a small prayer and leave it to be.

works for me :)

Answer 4

The best thing to do is just book a vacation. But don't go untill you have finished all your social problems just give yourself hope by convincing your mind that their's just a couple of days befor your vacation. Also make more time by waking up early, just by doing somethings in a rush might cause depression in the starting of a day. other things are drinking a little more coffee, taking brakes between work and getting socially fit by going for a game of soccer or swimming with friends and stuff.
good luck

Answer 5

I find that when this mindset happens there is usually a myriad of things going on and need addressing. Start with the most important or the beginning whichever is most effective. Break your mess down into doable resolutions and take care of the smaller things one at a time. Usually the mess will start to flow, then more easily as you eliminate problems. Once the flow is at a tollerable rate, reassess the situation and look at the more important things for fixing and the very small things usually go away by themselves. When you have a mess and there is not one answer that will fix it remember that you can eat the whole elephant, but you have to do it one bite at a time.

Answer 6

First, assess what's the problem (i.e. the root of the problem).... Next, list out what you can do about it... Then, make an action plan to deal with the problem... Finally, evaluate what has been done and determine if it helped...

If all else fail, speak to someone that can help you... The last thing you need to do is try to solve the problem that you have no idea how to do it... This is because, when one is blinded by their problems (whatever they may be)... they seldbom have the logical, emotional or psychological capacity to deal with it independently unless you are very objective and has control over the problems that are influencing your decision making logic...

Answer 7

When you said 'social problems' I am guessing you're talking about how you should behave and what you should say in the presence of people you meet socially.

If you are not confident about contributing to others' conversational topic, then just listen attentively. Most people love to talk and these people hate listening. They just want to talk and talk. It'll be great for them to have people listening to them so there!

As to behaviour, observe how people respond and react in different social occasion. A keen eye is all you need to pick up some very useful social tips.

Please don't worry too much about making boo boos...everyone does.

Answer 8

Put your problem up on Yahoo Answers! lol
OR go see a counselor or talk to a friend. Sometimes we can't see the solution to a problem even when it seems obvious to everyone around us. I think it's because we're too close to it, too emotionally involved to think rationally and clearly. Often our friends & family can see the problem for what it really is. We may not like the answers we get, but if the person truely cares about you they will give you good advice.

Answer 9

I step out of the situation. If it involves me, I try to imagine what kind of advice I would give to someone else in the situation.
Sometimes I even set up a chessboard and place pieces representing the people involved. It helps me visualize the problem more clearly.

GL

Answer 10

First you must analyze the problem by yourself,say e.g. by establishing the origins of the problem(s) i.e. before going public. If no solution emerges, then talk to (1) close family member,(2)close friend,and if need be see a counselor. Good luck to you.

Answer 11

Ask 4 really different people what they would do. Choose 4 different people of very different ages and situations. Then consider their answers. Think about why their answers are the different or the same. If they agree, then it's probably because it is 'the right thing to do' and you should just do it for that reason. If they differ, then try to think why they differ and which is the closest to what appeals to you and is appropriate for your situation.
If you aren't satisfied with the answers, repeat the process with 4 different other people.