He is older and we both want kids?

Question

I'm 20 he is 39 i love him and we both want children but am i 2 young. Everyone says i am but i dont think so?????????

Answer 1

This is not a question of if your too young, age doesn't really matter, if YOUR ready and you and your boyfriend are stable enough (mentally and financially) to have a baby then go for it!

If you or your boyfriend have any doubts at all about having a baby then it's definatly not the right time!

I had my son when i was 18 and my b/f was 21, we didn't plan it but it was a lovely suprise - luckly my b/f had a great job and we were both happy about it!

I'm now 22, my husband is 25, we got married last year and started trying for another baby, we own our own 3-bedroom house and things have turned out great! age is not an issue at all and you don't need to ask yahoo! Q&A users weather your too young - you need to ask yourself weather your ready!

good luck in what you decide!

Oh i forgot to add this link...have a read, it's about getting pregnant in your 20's - the pro's and cons...
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/activelytrying/twenties/

Answer 2

I would recommend that you wait a few years after you are married before you have kids. Take some time first to get settled, work, travel, get to know each other, etc. Your personality WILL change in some respects yet, as at the age of 20, you're not done maturing into an adult yet. You may well change your attitudes and views on different topics in many ways, and you may decide that this is not the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. If you have a child with him, though, you will be tied to him in one respect or another for at least 18 years.

If after 4-5 years, you think this is the guy for you still, then go for it. If not, then you don't have any ties, and you can break it off cleanly. In the meantime, a guy of 40-45 should still be able to father kids, and he'll be young enough to be around while they're growing up, going through college, etc.

Answer 3

Twenty is not too young- i had mine was 18, 21 and 24 and i know plenty more who kids younger. He is 39, so in terms of energy for a family he is pushing it- bearing in mind he will heading towards sixty when your kids are teenagers and teenagers are blinking hard work- my other halfs father had a child later in life and he has found it extremely hard work- so if you are going to do it and stay with this man don't let others put you off. After saying that - personally its a big age gap. My brother married at 36 to a girl of 18, they had three kids and now she has left because she wants the life of a younger person and he wants to settle by the fireside at nights with his kids- there's a lot to consider.

Answer 4

There is no right or wrong age. Obviously there would be more to say if we were atking about a 12 year old. If you want children and your partner does too then as long as you think its right go for it. You can never prepare yourself for life with children and most people wont ever be financially secure but when children are involved you always find a way and whatever choice you make will be the right one.

Hope all goes well for you!

Answer 5

Hi hun, no one can answer that question apart from you. In my opinion, only you know when you are ready for children. If you are ready and he is too then i would say go for it but if you are having ANY doubts then i would suggest you wait a little longer. Having a baby is a huge decision and it will always be scary no matter how old you are so you need to decided if you are just having the usual nerves that everyone has when they decide to have a baby or are you just not ready yet.Good luck though, whatever you decide x

Answer 6

I think its okay as you say you both want children however you will need to consider the basic needs to look after a baby before actually concieving e.g finding work or pre concieving health checks eyc

but you are not to young but at his age he is losing the time clock and you have plenty of time your choice really

in my view you are young maybe you should finish your education and hit off career wise before making choices and or get married first that'll show people that you are sensible at your age to think of your future

Answer 7

If you are sure that you want a baby then I dont see why not...I was 20 when I first got pregnant but I was also married...mabye you guys should consider getting married first then everyone will know how serious you are and how much you love each other....Good Luck

Answer 8

i had my first when i was 20 and im now 22 with a 5 day old little girl and a 16 month old little boy!

Ive also been married for almost 3 years.

Answer 9

Yup, if you ask yourself then you are not ready. But I think that we are never ready!
Im 25 and my boyfriend is 39 and we just had a beautiful baby boy 7 months ago. We didnt plan him so therefore we weren't ready. Alejandro is now here and now we couldnt ever picture our lives without him.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

I had my first son at 21, im now 37 and had 2 more boys in the past 18 months, i dont think there is a right age just depends on if you think it feels right.