my wife & i have been going through some ups & downs. during this time she has started speaking w/friends she had before we met. she hasn't went out w/these friends except 4 a few times. what bothers me is this: when we met and began 2 see each other she quit all contact w/these friends. She was dedicated to only me and our kids. I never asked her 2 do this it just happened that way. the last few months have been a little rough and now she has rekindled these old friendships and every so often goes 2 see them. (lake trips/bar/out eating/etc.) I don't think they r bad people r forbid her from going. in fact, she usually invites me however i somewhat feel she does bc she knows i am not into the barscene. she then comes in at like 5 or 6 am which bothers me greatly. i worry bout her safety and who she's with. Is she preparing herself 2 leave me or am I just in an emotional breakdown phase?
2007-08-20 04:01:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You ceased to be all that interesting.
2007-08-20 04:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
her contact with old friends does not mean she is leaving you. especially if you have been invited. during my second marriage, I would sometimes go out with my single girlfriends. I always invited my husband along, and he chose not to go. I knew I was married, and I didn't want anyone else. I didn't do anything that could be considered immoral other than drinking and having a good time. when the nights were over, I would go home alone to my husband. I didn't give out my cell number (except to friends I hadn't seen in a while), and I didn't make plans to meet back up later. I made it clear I was married, had no intention of having a fling, and behaved the way I knew I should. (and this had no bearing on the divorce that followed.)
in the same token, I am in a committed relationship, and have been for two years. I go out with my friends sometimes, and my boyfriend goes out with his. we trust each other to behave like we should, and it does not have a impact on our lives. sometimes it's nice to get away from the house, the kids, the responsibility, and have a night out. if you trust your wife, even if you are on rocky ground right now, then you shouldn't fret over her wanting time away. not only that, but it's good to have an outlet. that gives both of you the chance to relax for a while, instead of taking out the stress of life on each other and ending up worse off than you would have been without having another oulet. (not only that, but sometimes we get caught up in the moment of having fun. there would be times that I would say, "you know girls, I can't be out long. my husband is probably waiting up for me, cause I told him it would only be a couple of hours." and before I knew it, the bar was closing, and I was calling home to say I lost track of time.)
maybe you should tag along when invited every now and then. even if you're not into the bar scene, go out, have fun with your wife. it can't hurt, and may even help, your relationship, and allay any fears you have. I think you just have fears right now because of the ups and downs you're experiencing in your personal life. go out with her, see why she enjoys it. she may just miss her friends and see this as a way to reconnect. I don't think it means your marriage is doomed, especially since she does put forth the effort of asking if you would like to go. if she didn't want you to go, she wouldn't ask if you wanted to. talk to her, and see where you stand. and I hope it works out for the best for you. good luck!
2007-08-24 03:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by flgalinms 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife has invited you to join her and her friends, so stop worrying. Even you say they are nice people, so don't start imagining things. Why are you going through these ups and downs? Why don't you settle whatever your differences are? Your wife loves you and you love her. Stop being stubborn and end this fighting between you. Take this woman in your arms tonight and make beautiful love to her. It's way overdue.
2007-08-20 04:26:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should never have dumped all of her friends to begin with.
And no her having friends does not mean she's going to leave you but your wanting to be the only person in her life (sounds like your controlling/insecure) then that might make her leave.
2007-08-20 04:16:36 · answer #4 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you need to let your wife know how you are feeling?
sometimes we put too much focus on a relationship, and our social life and other interests fly right out the window! really, it's healthier to have separate friends and interests for an occasional break!
maybe your wife feels she was missing something and is now expanding HER horizons? take care.
2007-08-20 04:10:59 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! My husband thinks the same thing but when i try to talk to them he gets upset. If you make it look like you have a problem with her talking to them, that will make her leave you!!! You cant restrict her from anyone. Just because your married doesnt mean you own her.
2007-08-20 04:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her what you feel. Maybe she lost herself in the marriage and with the kids and she is just trying to find her again. It may be innocent but talk to her about it and be honest.
2007-08-20 04:15:51 · answer #7 · answered by chris d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you talk to her,let her know how you feel,tell her you love her and want to work this out,the bible said you are one flesh and if you have children it is important for them to have both mom and pop around.its easy to give up on your wife,but it take work to keep things going.ask her how she feel and then listen,be willing to say you were wrong,tell her she is important to you,if you keep work with love things will soon change.
2007-08-20 04:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by drvic3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's bored with you.
2007-08-20 04:36:11 · answer #9 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋