Help! My 8 month old still wakes up throughout the night!?

Question

My son just turned 8 months old. He is NOT a sleeper. He might take one good nap a day and maybe a few 10-15 minute "snoozes." He never falls asleep at night before 10pm and wakes up (literally) every 2-3 hours. It has always been this way. He eats two jars of baby food about 6 o'clock and nurses at 9. I've tried letting him cry, but I'm not good at that and he's very stubborn. Sometimes he'll be up for an hour at a time at night. I'm exhausted, any ideas?

Answer 1

Our oldest daughter was never a good night sleeper. She would wake several times in the night for a drink well after she was supposedly old enough to not need to anymore. When she was old enough (about 3), we began leaving a cup of water at her bedside so she could get her own drink in the night without waking us. It was very hard, but we eliminated night time juice and milk drinks when she was about 2 1/2 (just after our 2nd child was born and she was getting up more than our newborn!) and allowed her only water. She is now 28 years old and has a 4 month old son of her own. She still goes to bed with water on her nightstand. Regardless of what all the books say and what doctors and other professionals say, each child is a unique individual. The printed milestones are strictly guidelines and not every child fits neatly into the normal category. I also have 3 other children. 1 was an average night sleeper, and 2 were exceptional night sleepers. The solutions to your dilema will vary with what your son seems to need when he wakes and the state he is in. I would suggest that if your son wakes and is only making fussy and whiny noises to let him be for a while, maybe start with delaying your going to him by just one minute for a few nights then gradually increase the length of time it takes for you to go to him. This is my own modified version of the "cry it out" method that is much less stressful. He may wake and just need a little practice at self-soothing, which is a learned behavior. Of course, if he wakes in a very agitated state, screaming and obviously in distress (or his whines and whimpers turn into this), go to him immediately. Some babies do need a bed-time snack. Before his 9:00 nursing, try feeding him a little cereal or a partial jar of veggies and then nurse him closer to 10:00. For infants, giving cereal before bed does not help the baby sleep longer, but for older infants who are regularly eating solids, a little solid bedtime snack can be helpful. If he wants to nurse in the middle of the night, this is likely for comfort more so than nutrition. Try letting him hold some sort of "lovey", such as a small stuffed animal or a blanket, while he nurses. He can begin to associate the comfort of nursing with the comfort of the other object. Some babies do very well with this type of comfort object. If he has been sleeping with a nightlight, try turning it off or if he hasn't been using one try putting one in his room. When you do attend to his needs in the night, do so with as little interaction, talking, and activity as possible. Have all his diaper changing needs ready, including extra pajamas just in case. Turn on only enough light as necessary to tend to business. If he needs to nurse, let him, but keep the talking and interaction very perfunctory. Take care of business and "back to bed young man" should be the motto. While I have had to resort to the "cry it out" method on occassion, mostly because of my own exhaustion, it is not something I found particularly helpful and generally resulted in less sleep for all in the household. Babies cry because they are trying to communicate something. It is my personal opinion that you wouldn't ignore a toddler who calls for mommy so why would you ignore a baby who is calling in the only way he knows how? It was also very helpful that my husband developed the knack for getting the kids to go back to sleep in the night. He just seemed to have the touch and could rock, rub a forehead or a back for a few minutes, or give a sip of water and the wakeful child would go peacefully back to sleep. Even if I did the very same thing, they'd be awake forever. If there is another parent in the picture, try enlisting their help with night-time waking. I have been a child care provider in my home for 20 years. I have great success with naptimes and am the envy of all my daycare moms. What has been helpful to me is if I know for sure that the diapers are clean and dry, the tummy is full, and he is tired yet he either will not go to sleep or he wakes when I know he isn't ready, I will lay him down with a hug and a kiss and say "night-night time". Any excessive crying, I go back into the room, lay him down with a hug and a kiss and say "night-night time". I just keep doing this with a little longer time in between going into the room. I can tell by the cries and fussiness if he is working on going to sleep or if I need to go back in to reassure him. This works even with parents who swear their child will not go to sleep without rocking. It may not seem like it now, but he will grow out of needing you to come to him so much in the night.

Answer 2

babies, regardless of what they eat do this... it may be his personality is doing it more than others, but especially if he's nursing - actually nursing and not just comfort sipping - he's probably getting hungry in the night. Breastmilk is highly digestible, so it doesn't last very long. That's what makes it so good. though for the ones attached to the boobs don't always feel it's so good - we know it is.

I'm not sure about the up for an hour at a time nights... maybe keep things dark and silent, don't talk to him sing to him. Make him remember that it's dark and it's sleeping time. My daughter did this for a couple of weeks... about the same age... but after a few nights of turning on a light, and talking/singing to her... I decided that we'd stop that part, it gradually got better, but it wasn't perfect the next couple of nights.

Babies tend to need quite a bit of sleep, maybe trying to get him to take more than one nap a day... My daughter didn't out grow her 2nd nap until she was over a year. midmorning and mid afternoon naps were good for us. He may actually be so tired that he's in overdrive - sort of an exhaused 2nd wind. that may be causing him to have a hard time relaxing and getting the rest he really needs.

If teething is the issue, try some of those teething tablet herbal remedies... like Hyland's... they help with calming and soothing - not pain relief... he may need a little help with that. Most of them are chamomile based.

Hope you get some rest soon !!

Answer 3

I have a 5 yr old and she still wakes up at night and has a drink, I should have stopped getting up and giving her a cup of water when she was a baby. Every morning the cup is empty, that is how I know she wakes up. She doesnt call me anymore, but she has to have her drink to get back to sleep. I am preg. with #2 now and this time I want to do it by the book.

Answer 4

Let him cry. As cruel as it may seem, he needs to know that it isn't play time. Check on him if you feel you need to, but don't pick him up and don't caudal him. He learns that is is ok to wake you up by you attending to his every cry. If he is fed and hasn't soiled his diaper, he is fine. If you stick to it hard core, you should be able to break the cycle in a couple weeks. It is hard, I know as a mom of 2 stubborn babies, but you have to ask yourself, can you be more stubborn for 2 weeks? Getting a full nights sleep will be your reward.

Answer 5

The more you keep giving in to him and going to him, the longer this is going to go no. Babies need trained how to sleep - that's your job (one of the many). Let him cry, go to him, soothe him, but do not pick him up or feed him. A few nights of this, possibly a week and he will learn that night time is bed time.
Do you have a bed time routine?? If not, establish one and stick to it, that way he knows bed time is soon approaching!

Answer 6

My youngest will be 8 months old in three days and still does this as well. But we co-sleep, so it's no big deal. He normally just wakes up to find my nipple and then nurses himself back to sleep.

Answer 7

As long as he is dry and fed, let him cry. Be strong. He's training you