if my wife cheated on me should i give her a second chance?

Question

we have no children. she claims its been going on since feb. and that they only really talk, she admitted to me she slept with him once, 2 months ago because she thought i was cheating on her. by the way they also work for the same company and i just found out 2 days ago, shes going to quit her job and pleaded for forgiveness on her knees! I love her so much but i feel so stupid! what do i do ?

Answer 1

sure, why not, you have nothing better to do...

and i'm sure she won't do it again, unless the same set of circumstances happen again...

Answer 2

Here's the thing: when someone cheats in a marriage, there is usually some underlying reason. It may be that your wife feels neglected. Or, she may have been seduced. Some women are not wise enough to know when they're being preyed upon. It may also be that your wife is unhappy in the marriage. None of these reasons justify the cheating. They can, however, explain it.

First, ask your wife if she still loves you (if she doesn't love you, there's no sense in continuing in the marriage). Then, consider some other reasons why she cheated. Have you been neglecting her? Do you spend time with her, take her out occasionally, and satisfy her in bed? Are you doing these things? If not, why not? If that's not the answer, ask her if she's unhappy. If she says she's not unhappy, ask her if she wants to continue in the marriage. If she does, the two of you need to decide on how you're going to keep your marriage together. Having talked all of this out, it would be fair to give your wife a second chance. If, however, she cheats again; you would be wise to let her go.

Answer 3

l guess only you really know the answer to that question. Could you learn to forgive her for what she did ? lf the answer is yes l'd say definitely go for it. We are only human and humans do make mistakes. l forgave my hubby for cheating, it's a lot harder to forget than forgive and perhaps l'll never forget but everything is great now and l honestly don't believe he would ever do it again. That was nearly 2 yrs ago and l feel l made the right choice for me. l hear all the time "once a cheater always a cheater" but l do not believe that is true of all. Yes some of course but others just make wrong choices at times. Good luck with this as l know it is not easy for you.

Answer 4

If you were living in the jungle and had two children. For a pet you happen to have a family tiger. The tiger brought you your morning paper, kept your feet warm at night by curling around them, purred when you would stroke its head and was very quiet and pleasant to have around. One morning, you awake and half of one of the children is hanging out of the mouth of the pet and you watch in horror as the tiger finishes. You pick up a stick and beat the tiger for an hour. Question: Would you then put the other child on the floor to play with the tiger?
Point is: The nature of the beast will always be what it is and a history is the indicator of the beasts nature. It is just my opinion but it applies to so many of the different species, even the human ones.

Answer 5

Hi there,

I can understand what you are going through at this moment. I went through the same when my husband cheated on me. See, it all depends on whether you are ready to forgive her. Given two options: leaving her / staying with her; think how it will affect you. Option-1 : If you leave her, and if you have kids how will you deal with it. If you dont have kids too, will you be easily forget her, your love for her. Can you imagine a life without her. Option-2 : If you forgive her and continue staying with her as before, will you be able to love her the way as you used to. Will the trust be there. Initially it wont be, it will take time to rebuild your trust for her. The thought of how / when/ why she cheated on you will be there in your minds almost all 24 hrs, but you have to cope up with it and you have to come out of it slowly. She will love you more fro it.

It is your life and you have to decide. I chose option-2. I have given my husband second chance and coping up with its consequences. It is hard, but still I have hope that things will be fine.

I wish you all the best. Be happy.

Thanks,
Sandhya

Answer 6

A couple of the other answers before me said it, if you can and want to try again, and if it's worth it, yes. I tell ya, it's VERY hard to trust her again, I've been there and done that. We separated for about 9 months before I decided to try again. If you do give her another chance just know, YOU will have a hard time for a while. Let her know that when you are questioning her and feeling insecure, it's her own fault that you are like that. Tell her, once is all I'm willing to tolerate, if it happens again, it's over!!!!

Answer 7

That is up to you really. If you have it in you to forgive her and move past the affair and she and you both want to work on your marriage, then you can give her another chance. But, if either of you just are not in this fully, than I would let the relationship go.

Answer 8

The book is very clear on this. Is it her first time or she is a repetitive cheater. Do you have a good marriage to go back to or it's been bad since the beginning. I believe cheating is a terrible offense to your spouse but it can be forgiven with hard work and counseling.

It all depends on if you have something good to salvage.

Answer 9

People make mistakes and learn. Only you can answer the question of trusting her again. Will you forgive her or will you always be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.

Answer 10

We all do give seconds chances, sometimes it works and sometimes it just keep on happening.. the question here is should you continue to give her chances? how many? how long could you stand this? if you do and she does it again then leave, is not worth living your life in such misery.. Value your self and your life for it's just a one time deal..You deserve to be happy think about it.. good luck.

Answer 11

If you love her and can forgive her, then yes, what do you have to lose now? You know what she's done. If you both can get past it, then great. If you can't, end it then. The easy road would be to wash your hands of the situation.