My sister is one of the kindest, funnest, most helpful people you will ever meet, and until recently I have had very few problems with her.
Unfortunately the other day I realised that in actual fact she's also pretty racist and more than a little homophobic.
I have no idea how to deal with this situation. I love my sister, but the fact that she's like that is really making me rethink what kind of person she is.
Any suggestions?
2007-08-20 01:06:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Ah, I forgot to mention, I haven't told her I'm gay and I'm not sure if she knows or not. Theres like a 50% chance either way. It kinda makes the whole situation more difficult.
2007-08-20 01:15:56 · update #1
It's always hard when you realise a family member is the kind of person you wouldn't associate with. Unfortunately, she's in your life for the rest of yours and hers.
There's nothing wrong with re-thinking what kind of person she is, frankly I would do the same.
Have you always been close to your sister? I ask this because I think there has to be some level of closeness, as you said there's a 50% chance that she knows you're gay - so there's got to be some kind of connection there.
It's a really difficult situation. The way I see it there are two options. You can either tell her you're gay and ask that if she has a problem with that to deal with it and respect you. Or you can not tell her that you're gay, but you could still address your concerns with her. Does she know she's like this? Does she know how she makes you feel, or others feel? Maybe try talking to her.
All the very best of luck to you.
2007-08-20 01:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by Zarathustra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often people become phobic about something when they feel that it is uncomfortably close to them but they don't understand it and so can't come to terms with it...
So I suggest that you definitely do tell her but please do it is a gentle sensitive and private way... No big public announcements... just take her on one side and tell her in private. Then give her a chance to ask any questions...
Explain to her how hurt it makes you feel when she comes out with these comments. She will probably say something like "but I don't mean you... you're different" and then you can explain that actually the image she has of the "typical" gay may well be quite wrong because basically they are just people like you!
You will probably find that once she realises that this isn't the frightening situation that she fears then although she may never be a huge fan of gay people - at least her irrational prejudice may well diminish somewhat.
2007-08-20 08:25:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there's a few ways you could handle this. You could ignore her and not talk to her about it. The more she shows her hate, it seems to be bringing you down, so I wouldn't be around her if she's going to be all racist and homophobic. You could confront her (showing confidence and authority) and tell her that being racist is wrong. Tell her you won't tolerate it, but she's going to be wondering why you're telling her to stop being homophobic. She might already think you are gay, so that would tell her that you are (Not many straight people are gay activists).
2007-08-20 08:29:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just gonna have to come to terms with the fact your sister is racist and homophobic. So you have a Nazi sister things could be worse I guess.
2007-08-20 11:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by Rosie the Riviter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being racist and homophobic makes you a Nazi now?
Uh....no, I don't think so.
Give or take your sister has some issues that she needs to work out, it's just not nice to call anyone a Nazi.
That error has been and gone dear.
2007-08-20 08:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by le VicSter! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why don't you talk to her and ask her why she feels that way. and tell her we are in 2007 not 1927. and her beings racist is a lil lame and stupid no days.
2007-08-20 08:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by rainbow stud 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
everyone is entitled to their views and opinions. It strikes me that you are being more than a little over sensitive in this.
2007-08-20 08:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by kieran b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PFLAG - Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.
2007-08-20 08:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Being racist and homophobic makes you a Nazi now?"
Yea, pretty much.
2007-08-20 09:38:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she'll be so upset she'll call you names like 'nazi'. Clearly the two of you have issues even without your sexuality.
2007-08-20 09:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋