The two lines I have are this:
"Standing close is a frosted glass"
Holding dry sweetness within
or
"Sitting close is a frosted glass"
Holding dry sweetness within
My question to you is this, should I use the "Standing" or should I use the "Sitting"
Does a glass sit or stand?
This is to be the beginning line of the second verse
In which my second line follows.
2007-08-20 00:01:31 · 21 answers · asked by Sam 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
marshal3corps :
Nice suggestion.
Thank you so much!
Peace & Love,
Sam
2007-08-26 16:15:07 · update #1
The other comments are very good and are some of my thoughts too - therefore, I won't repeat them (such as changing your choice of verbs to begin with.)
If the choice is between standing and sitting only, I would choose sitting. The reason being - sitting is the unexpected verb; whereas, we've all seen standing glass. Sitting is more interesting and expressive in meaning - a more vivid image is presented.
2007-08-20 04:45:04 · answer #1 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I like -Sitting close is a frosted glass
Holding dry sweetness wihtin.
The other one is also good. But I like the sitting one. I think your poem will be beautiful.
2007-08-20 05:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Man, what is lonelier than a frosty glass? Now, think about it-when you have no one left in the world to support U, DO U have the strength to stand on your feet? If you wish to show that the glass is struggling with thoughts, the demons inside the head, it should be standing. But, if the glass accepts the facts, and it's loneliness, it should be sitting for sure.
2007-08-20 00:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by miganija 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I prefer the "Standing close is a frosted glass," although I'm not crazy about the "is a"
Other options:
"Nearby, a frosted glass."
"A frosted glass with dry sweetness stands close"
"Dry sweetness waits in frosted glass"
Good luck!
2007-08-20 03:35:56 · answer #4 · answered by ObscureB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of the two I prefer standing. You could also eliminate both if you wish:
Close by is a frosted glass
Holding dry sweetness within
2007-08-20 00:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by Todd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered working the poem without either?
"Close is a frosted glass..."
or
"Ever so close is a frosted glass,
Holding dry sweetness within"
or
"And close..."
"Preciously close is a frosted glass,
Holding dry sweetness within"
Feel free to use.
2007-08-26 15:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by marshal3corps 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Standing sounds really good. Thats correct glass does not sit!!
2007-08-20 04:04:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just a thought -- I wonder if you would be able to get a little more meaning into those few syllables. How close is the glass? "At my elbow" fits the meter, and so does, "on the table," or "on his/her/my table." Or perhaps "waiting close."
As a couple of other people said, you might be able to suggest the attitude of the glass: does it seem complacent, or patient, or antagonistic, or arrogant, or lonely, or uncaring? It could even be slumping!
2007-08-20 00:38:17 · answer #8 · answered by bonitakale 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The main thing that springs to my mind is Webb Pierce's There Stands the Glass.
2007-08-27 05:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by i_am_the_fig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sam, I'd love to give you a suggestion, but unless I know the context of these lines to the poem...well, I'd be guessing, and that is not what your poem deserves. Show us the other lines, or if this is a work in progress, construct the other lines and then show us what you have so we can better make a recommendation.
2007-08-27 20:05:45 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋