Anything wise to declare that your gran used to say?

Question

things like Get a scarf on your head and keep warm or you will suffer later in life!

Answer 1

Grand dad, use to say that it's better to believe in God, and find out later that there was no God, than to spend your life not believing and find out that there was a God???

Answer 2

Hello, My Gran had a mangle with two solid rollers about 3ft long a wheel on top to adjust the squelch as she called it. My job was to turn a handle and this made the rollers rotate while she put the wet washing in, from then on she repeatedly said mind your fingers in the wheel mind my fingers in the rollers until all the mangling was done my Grandad and me laughed through out. Funny part is even when i was 18 yrs old she still repeated this.

Answer 3

Well, granny always told us, "Be careful what you say and do in this town. People are so nosy and so suspicious. You can't keep anything a secret from anybody! Why, if you f a r t at Smith's Filling Station [east side of town] they can smell it at the Wayside Inn [on the west side, about four blocks away]."

Granny lived right in the middle of town, so she caught the strong winds from all sides. Had that electric fan, first one ever marketed, buzzing away summer and winter.

Don't know if she meant that gossip travels unusually fast in our town, or that the beans from Jasperson's Grocery Store on the north side were particularly gassy. But I know this much: sometimes you could smell really strong f a r t s inside Brown's Cafe on cold winter days [on the south side, three blocks from Jasper [Jap] Jasperson 's Grocery Store.

Jap Jasperson lived in our town a long time before the Second World War, but I think that sometime during the war, for reasons I could never figure out, it got around town that Mr. Jasperson was an enemy alien. Jap proudly raised some of the beans he sold, and I guess the super-patriots thought anybody who raised and sold such stinky beans must have something against his patriotic neighbors. Never figured that rumor out, but there were a lotta suspicious people in our town.

[Did they think Jap Jasperson's blond hair and cool blue eyes marked him as German?] Jasperson's not exactly an Italian name either. So how did that fool rumor start? Makes you wonder.

Today times have changed a lot in our home town. At our 48th class reunion, one of the old women I graduated with said, "I'm glad I left this town. Why, in this town, if you f a r t at 'Food, Dude' on the east side , they can smell it clear down at the Video Palace on the west."

Smith's went out of business, but Wayside Inn, right next to the Video Palace, is still prospering despite all the old f a r t s who are still hanging around telling the same old stories.

And, as Gran used to say, "There's no f a r t like an old f a r t."

And you "South Park" fans thought it was only Canadians who like f a r t jokes? This was in Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain, especially after supper on summer evenings when everybody has digested the beans from Anaraxes [Iraq] Jasperson's Organic Farm Produce Stand where Jap Jasperson's Grocery Store stood during World War II. My, things have changed in my home town. I love it so much that I now live 500 miles away, and only go back once a year for the gossip fest. (We usually call it the class reunion.)

Organic? Hah! I came home for a week to visit my brother, and we have all been watching him every night through our binoculars, to see if that family is still putting chemical fertilizer around its homegrown bean plants. Somebody said they thought they saw him using illegal chemicals on his organic food back in 20-aught-1, and we've been trying to nail'em ever since and turn'em in to the EPA.

Heard that his great grandpa was an enemy alien, and you know, there's something awfully suspicious about Iraq Jasperson. You never can tell about people. Never did trust those Jaspersons anyway. As granny used to say, in case I forgot to tell you: "You can't keep a secret in this town. Why, if you f a r t on the east side...."

You see, the home town folks and the home town beans are from the same stock that they were from when I was young. Just as suspicious and eccentric, and just as gassy as ever.

Answer 4

My sweet gran always used to tell me that if I had a sore throat,to wrap a silk scarf around it,but it had to be silk.

She also swore by using Vicks.

Was always telling me to get slippers on cos walking around in bare feet would make me pay for it later in life.

She also said she was going to knit me the perfect man,bless her......

Answer 5

My gran always used to say to me when I used to go out in bare feet "get some shoes on or you will get the pip". Not sure what "the pip" was, but dont think I got it! Bless, Lol

Answer 6

After reading the answers all I can say is I'm so pleased we Nans are remembered with love and good humour. I always tell mine, help people if you can but not to the detriment of your self.

Answer 7

My gran used to say "take in front before in front takes you". It means that you shouldn't procrastinate doing something that you know have to do or the consequences will be hell to pay.

Answer 8

My gran used to say never to put your head out of a train window (apparently she was speaking from experience with a friend)
she always says 'please have come' thnk that just means glad to see you!

Answer 9

My Great Grand Mother used to say this every time my attention was diverted by a good looking man: "Handsome is as Handsome does."

It took me years to work out what it really meant, but I had fun learning.

Answer 10

Heres One--Kissing don't Last,But Cooking Sure Do.