Why cant i argue good?

Question

I came to US three years ago and im 15 years old. I have a cousin who was born and raised in US. I really hate him sometimes. Like whenever we argue i speak English to him and he alwasy takes advantage of my English to humiliate me. He said, " At least make sense when you speak" That really hurts my feelings. Its just i couldnt think fast like him because i have to translate words from vietnamese to english or think of the right words to say so it takes more time. Sometimes i think fast and end up saying it stutterly. Can anyone give me some advice or some ways to get through this situation?

Answer 1

I have to agree with some others that you speak English very well ( or at least write it well). It is understandable that you have trouble trying to quickly translate, especially considering how different the two languages are.

Sadly, some people will try to "win" an arguement by any means possible, even if it's putting down the other person. People tend to do this when they can not defend their position: sometimes they will comment about how the person they are disagreeing with is ugly or stupid. These things are meant as personal attacks to distract from the actual disagreement. They are hurtful, like what your cousin said about you. Really, they say more about the person making the comments and their character than about the person they are said to.

My advice is to not allow him to rush you. Take your time to think about how to say what you want to. Tell him not to avoid the point if he tries to make a personal attack. State that he is trying to change the subject because he knows he can't win.

If that fails, carry on the arguement in Vietnamese!

Answer 2

Sweety, you are writing this question so well. Maybe you can write down how you are feeling and give it to him.
It is a hurtful sentence he is using on you and that is a popular comment that is made to anyone that is not from here.
Does he speak Vietnamese? If not then explain to him that you have a hard time speaking in English to him and if he spoke Vietnamese that there would be no language barrier between you and him.
After the argument, do write down how you feel and give it to him and tell him that since he had a hard time understanding you, maybe writing it down it would be easier for him to read it. Also, when you are not nervous and you can speak without any problems, and you are not upset....do tell him that you do not like that sentence to be used on you. (At least make sence when you speak). SAY : It is great that you know the English language so well, but please do not say such words to family members. Thank you.......then walk away....hope it works for you!!

Answer 3

You can't argue good probably because they're stupid arguments and because you're arguing with a.....jerk. He's not arguing, he's trying to put you down and make you feel stupid and at the same time you're probably trying to make him feel stupid. (Assuming this is the case because you want to know how to argue better to "win") Your cousin making fun of your English is no better than if you make fun of him for not knowing Vietnamese.

And besides that, wat you've written here shows that your English is fine. Actually, if you read around on Yahoo Answers or other message boards, you type better than half of the teenagers born and raised in this country that don't even know how to use periods and commas.

Ignore your cousin. Quit wasting your time and energy trying to "argue" with him. Be annoying instead, when he starts his crap up...just get all condescending and annoying. Give 1 word answers or phrases to everything he says like "whatever", "yeah ok, you're right", "yep". etc. He'll get bored and move on. Otherwise, these childish arguments will go on forever. It's fine if you hate him, but he doesn't need to know how much you hate him every time.

Answer 4

Chau Co Betty! Ong khoe khong?

Other than your silly, immature cousin bothering you, how are you? How do you like living in America so far?

Now about your cousin, I think he is the type of young man, not yet a real Nam, but an insecure young boy, who thinks he can make himself look and feel smarter by picking on others and trying to make them look dumber. I'm sure he does this with other kids at school and around the neighborhood.

Khong hieu? Why even try to argue with him? If won't do any good or change his immature mind. It's better to spend as little time as possible around him and spend more time around kids who understand you and understand that you're learning to speak better English. You sound like a bright, intelligent young woman. So don't worry about him or what he thinks and keep doing your best and keep learning new things and enjoy your life!

That is my advice to you.

Ten toi la Dr. Watson.

Answer 5

start off by changing you question to," Why can't I argue well ?". That shows right off you could profit by getting into a remedial english class . Have patience these things take lots of time and effort. Learn to do crossword puzzles or something similar to improve your familiarity with the language . Good luck and don't sweat it. Many a monolingual speaker of English could be envious of your bilingual abilities.

Answer 6

Every time he tries to argue about something, Say " I understand you feel that way BUT ( and say what you think), say it calm and repeat it over and over every time he says something. This is a PROVEN strategy to win arguments. Books have been written. "how to say no" is one of the books but I can't remember the author.

Answer 7

argue with him in Vietnamese!