my father just recently started playing his cheating games again, i have grown up with my father always cheating, he cheated on my real mother since they were teens until the day that she divorced him (while preg. with me), then he cheated on my stepmom for many years (married now 11 years, cheated for around 8) my sister always caught him but never told my stepmom, she has since moved out on her own and i am months aways too. but i recently started noticing that he is playing his games and i started to check his phone, his email, his everything, there is no question that he is cheating on my stepmom. i have so much proof my laptop is almost out of space. my problem is that i am closer to my stepmom then my real blood parents, and i want to tell her and i want to tell her soooooooooooo bad, and kick my dad in his cheating lying *** face. but everyone else i am close with tell me not to say anything and live my not so happy life. HELP ME SHOULD I REALLY STAY ZIPPED??????????????????????
2007-08-19 18:53:09 · 18 answers · asked by m@ n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What is your problem? Don't you get enough attention? Don't be a damn tattletale.
No one likes a snitch.
A snitch is worse than a son of a *****.
A son of a ***** inherits his condition.
But a snitch cultivates his.
2007-08-19 19:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one and I am sorry you have to be a part of this. Part of me says that you should say something to her, and then the other part of me says that you should wait. The only reason I say that you should wait is that you will probably get blamed for the hostility that will follow. Often, when someone "lets the cat out of the bag" they become the symbol of agression. Rather than the person accepting responsibility for his or her own actions they will divert their anger towards you. Likewise, the other person may not believe it and actually blame you for trying to sabatoge the relationship. It is almost a lose-lose situation.
I would give this some time. Your step-mom might alredy have some idea. This is unfortunate for all of you. Maybe, you can start asking your dad questions... become interested in their marriage and ask him how they got together. Ask him if he thinks they will always be together. Tell him how you feel about your step-mom... like she is a mother to you. Tell him how you would be hurt if anything ever got in the way of the family. Maybe, if you can, talking to your father would be a good first step. Good luck and take care.
2007-08-20 02:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since this is your family, I don't blame you for being concerned. Have you and your sister ever confronted your Dad and let him know how this is effecting everyone?
If it were me, I would have a hard time looking my step mom in the face, and knowing that he's playing her for a fool.
Although, it is possible that she already has an idea and hasn't done anything about it for whatever reason.
Since you know them, what do you think would happen if you told her? What are the risks? What are the benefits?
Obviously, she would be hurt and devastated, but perhaps her health is more important. If I had this info I would confront him first, (but maybe not reveal all of your proof) and if it cont. I would tell her and allow her to decide what to do.
Just make sure that you give her a shoulder to cry on and lots of support. I know that this must be a rough spot for you to be in, and I commend you for having the guts to want to do what is right.
2007-08-20 02:02:42 · answer #3 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon I'm sure if you know she knows something is not right maybe she is choosing to look the other way its great that you love her enough to tell her but now love her enough not to since it will just hurt her if you tell her she might have to come to terms with something she knows but just isn't willing to deal with yet. Cheaters always end up caught eventually if the person they are with wants to know. So don't make things strange between yourself and your father or even step-mother for that matter move out and try not to make the same mistakes you have seen him make when you have a family of your own
2007-08-20 02:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your stepmom is good to you and has been good to you...then you should tell her...but you should also think...has she been there for your dad...has she been great to him...if she has been nothing but good to all of you then confront your dad, and tell him to either stop his cheating or be ready to lose the woman who has been there for him and his kids...she should know, why should she waste her time on your dad, when she could be with someone who will actually appreciate her...i mean, you really like her, and she will still be thee for you...but just not as your stepmom...you should tell her...
2007-08-20 02:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by <3 Is It You <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I might do in your situation is sit down and talk to your father and let him know what you suspect and tell him that you feel like you are betraying your step mother by knowing about it but don't want to betray him by telling her and that is causing you great confusion and you don't know what to do.
Either way you are forced to betray someone. That is a very difficult situation to be in. I think it is very important that you talk to an adult whom you trust about it, if it's not possible to talk with your father. Possibly a school councelor, pastor, youth group leader. Someone who will be objective. If your father is approachable, I would try him first though. You are stuck in the middle of a situation that is beyond your control and I think that is very troublesome for someone to have to go through. I will say a special prayer for you to be led to wise council and help in resolving this situation. Big hug.
2007-08-20 02:06:40 · answer #6 · answered by *Freedom* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your father you know. You might want to stop checking his mail though. Yeah, he can't be trusted, but it's not your job to check up on him. How sad that he's put you in the position of being more mature than he is. Tell him you're disappointed in his behavior.
I'm not sure what to do about your stepmom. It would hurt her deeply. Maybe tell your father you want him to stop or tell her himself.
Sorry you're going through this.
2007-08-20 02:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by neverdecaf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a little talk with him. Tell him that you are angry that he is disrespecting your stepmom. At least that would let him know that you know about his cheating. If you still need to live there, be careful because he might kick you out.
2007-08-20 02:11:27 · answer #8 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your step mother probably already knows or has a good idea that he's cheating.
sometimes women look the other way, other times they wait until they have enough evidence and confront the guy.
you don't have to like or respect your father's actions -- he is wrong
just be there for your step mom and let her know you love her.
take care of YOU in the meantime.
2007-08-20 01:59:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid I agree with your friends, its not your place. However, I would tell your father that if he doesn't do the right thing by your stepmother, then you will tell her everything. Just stay close to her, your realtionship has nothing to do with your father. When she finds out, simply tell her that you are the child and its not your place, but you love her and consider her your mom. Good luck.
2007-08-20 02:10:14 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋