Lately, my girlfriend is getting really frustrated, because she doesn't like the fact that I answer most of her life questions with mainly facts, as opposed to emotion response. I will admit...I used to be fantastic at debate in high school and college, but is it bad to use "just the facts" in life situations? It seems as if I answer her questions with a "1, 2, 3" response, which makes perfect sense to me, but she hates it. What should I do? How can I go about fixing this?
2007-08-19 18:21:12 · 8 answers · asked by Jason C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Guy always want to fix things.
While Girls want support and compassion...
We usually know the facts ourselves.. But us being girls (women) a good shoulder to cry on or a compassionate ear to listen is all we need at the moment.
Try your best to not offer advice unless she asks for it.
Good luck, faith
2007-08-19 18:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by faith♥missouri 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Facts are handy, but it's not so difficult to apply a personal context and some emotional input into your responses. It could be that she's frustrated because if all she's getting from you is facts, she's never getting to know what sort of person you are. Anyone can run off a list of facts like a robot, but only YOU can answer a life situation type question in YOUR way, and that's what she's wanting, a human being rather than a robot.
Just put yourself in the situation that she's talking about and give it your own personal take. This isn't debate club, this is real life, and your girlfriend is probably more interested in a boyfriend than a really good debater.
2007-08-20 01:29:50 · answer #2 · answered by merlindeguerre 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You might consider an approach of "nodding" in affirmation. That is , try to stress your LISTENING aspect. Give the priority to letting her vent or be "heard out". Make your responses more toward affirming that you understand her point of view or situation, etc. A common problem we men face is that we are "fixers" in orientation. Our nature is to spot the problem, ascertain the criteria, and plan a solution.
Women often need to "air it out", and/or be heard.
You might try biting your tongue as you ask more questions than make suggestions.
2007-08-20 01:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by LELAND 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'll tell you this, it is extremely annoying! My boyfriend does the same thing. It irritates me, at the time, but to be honest I always go back and think about what he has said and I see that he is 100% right. The fact that he is right, doesn't stop me from being aggravated by it, but I'm not disrespectful, he knows I don't like it, but he also knows I respect his opinion. If your girlfriend comes to you and says "you were right" or lets you know that your input really helps, then keep on doing what you are doing. If she shuts down and never thanks you, then you know you really aren't helping her...and what she really wants is for you to say "I understand honey." And maybe just pat her back. :)
2007-08-20 01:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Girls like the emotional sense of things..
If she wanted the facts, she'd ask a question about it on Yahoo Answers..
But you're her boyfriend, she wants to know that you care with your answers and that you can give her advice and let her know you relate..
It's just how us chicks are..it's annoying, but you gotta love us..
Good luck
2007-08-20 01:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by Beautiful mess 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you actually know what she wants from you when she asks these "life questions"? Since I have no clue what kind of questions you are talking about, I cannot say whether factual responses are adequate. Is she asking about feelings or desires? And why is she asking questions (about life?) that you can answer with "1,2,3". Why do you know the "answers" and she is asking questions? Is she stupid? If not (and I'm suspecting she's not stupid.) why is she asking these questions? Maybe she wants to discuss some issues that are currently on her mind or of significance to her. Have you asked her what she wants when she asks these questions?
Attention must be paid!
2007-08-20 01:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by treebird 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You should be more openminded, and read about relationships and relational issues. Theres a wealth of info out there, it may improve your way of communicating read about comminicating better prepare ahead of time
2007-08-20 01:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jay223 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Girls are just like that. They need to dissect and discuss everything endlessly and don't realize guys are really not interested in their pathetic little lives all that much to care.
2007-08-20 01:25:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋