My partner and I are always fighting because my mother in law does not like me and he does not want to acknowledge that. He lives and dies for his mom and even though she has talked horrible things about me and she's always criticizing me , he things she's a saint and I'm the bad person. She is always telling people that my relationship with my partner is never going to last. My partner is also the jealous type, he did not want me to work because I was going to interact with men. I love him but he has a very bad temper and when he's mad he treats me like a dog. I have not been out with him for months, I'm 19 years old and my weekends are spend either on the job or watching T.V. His idea of going out is going to his parents house, where he spends most of the weekend with his mom. I feel rejected and even though I love him, I need to like someone cares about me. I have rejected guys who have asked me out but I'm tired of this. Can someone give me advice.
2007-08-19 17:29:39 · 34 answers · asked by yalina e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dump this guy. He's a jerk. Find someone else. There's nothing to love about someone who treats you like a dog and has a bad temper. Maybe you should check with a domestic violence group about how to get out, because he sounds like he might become a problem if you try to leave.
2007-08-19 17:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is never the solution to a problem. It just creates a bigger problem. If you have a true Mama's boy, and it sounds like you might, there isn't a thing in the world that you can do about it. His Mama is always going to come first, and her word will always hold more weight than yours. There are family dynamics going on here that started long before you were in the picture.
If you are not happy with the relationship as it is, then you must get out of it. Then "cheat" all you want...but end the relationship first. There is a proper order in which these type of things should be carried out, and if you cheat before the relationship is over, then you have done something wrong,"Just like Mama said you would". If you wait until you have ended it and then get a boyfriend, or two, then you have not committed any wrong. You aren't cheating if there is no relationship to cheat on.
2007-08-19 17:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by Oblivia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. You should leave. Go to a friend, family member, but go. Who cares if ma-in-law the bat-from-hell is right? No, you can't last - because he is an abusive little boy who will grow into an abusive man. You are young, and already you see where your life is leading you - into hell.
I know how hard it is to let go of someone that you love, but no matter how much or how hard you love him, you will not make him love you and treat you the way that you deserve. By isolating you because he is "jealous" he has taken the first steps to making you a battered wife.
Call a battered women's shelter today - jealous, bad-tempered men often get worse, not better, and express their jealousy and anger with their fists - and pack your things and get out. No note, no nothing. As he is never home, take all the papers you need - birth cert, marriage lic, mortgage, lease, any and all credit cards in your name - even if they are joint - and get out. You are wise enough to know that this is not right - now be wise enough to leave.
Good luck to you and my thoughts are with you.
2007-08-19 17:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by Lili Montegue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No do not lower yourself to that of a "cheater". If you are unhappy, get a divorce, besides your 19 you shouldn't be married anyway. But the vows have already been taken therefore you need to try to save your marriage, try counseling if that does not work than leave, and get a divorce. Cheating on him will only prove his mother and him right, that your marriage will not only fail but also that you are a bad person. You are young, what happens if you cheat, and he finds out an divorces you, not only are you divorced but mean while everyone is telling everyone "WHY" the marriage ended. You were grown up enough to make the choice to get married, so now you need to make the right choice on how to fix the situation. You have a lot of options, cheating should not be one of them. If your not up for the counseling, then tell him goodbye, let him go be with "mommy dearest"., and move on but please don't cheat, that is not the way to go about it. Also if you cheat and your marriage ends up LASTING, his mother will be even more mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey, you have no kids, go home to you parents get a GOOD job, and pay for the divorce, and enjoy being young before you get into another marriage!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!
2007-08-19 17:45:16 · answer #4 · answered by donnakygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm if ur willing to cheat on your partner then no wonder the mom doesnt like u cause she already has u finger pointed as a harlet, so by all means prove her right , show her son that she was right all along about u. OR you stop being so immature and realize your not in a relationship that u want and instead of using ur bf for your on selfish reasons so u can just "cheat" because well u think he deserves it when in all actuallity all ur doing is trying to paint a horrible picture of him and his mom to give u the excuse to cheat on him lol.. GROW UP if u dont want to be with him fine.. LEAVE.. but u have no right nor does anyone have the right to hurt someone as bad as cheating on them no matter what they do.. there is always the option to LEAVE ..
2007-08-19 17:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well cheating is only going to muddy this very murky scene. You are only 19 years old, you have a lot to learn, but you have a long time to learn it. This relationship isn't working out for you, is it?
My question really to you is why are you still with him if things are so bad.
Perhaps you need to take a break from him, his mom and your relationship and see who YOU really are, just YOU by yourself and see what you can learn.
So, NO don't cheat, it won't feel good afterwards and will complicate things. End this relationship if it is getting too bad, take stock of where you are, what you want and move forward. Involving someone else at this stage will never allow you to work through what you have to do now.
2007-08-19 17:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by kally 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he would irritate the hell out of me. However, why would you want to cheapen youself by cheating. That is worse than what he is doing and is morally wrong. Morals are about how you life your life and how you feel about yourself. There is a right way and a wrong way to do everything in this life. Cheating and being married to remain a momma's boy really are both bad ideas. Do things that make you feel good about yourself in life. Because really in the end, the way you have lived your life is what matters. I love the movie Meet Joe Black because of this point.....this guy is mega rich though...that isn't the point of the movie in my eyes. The point is - he has lived his life, loved his children, had a great marriage, treated those around him like he would like to have been treated, regardless. When he died, he had no regrets.
2007-08-19 17:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really believe that marriage is supposed to be forever BUT, if you really can't stand your marriage and don't want to work it out, then get out. Don't cheat. Breaking your marriage vows is never o.k. and it makes you the bad person. Go talk to your husband and tell him how bad the situation is. It sounds like you are both really young, I am sorry you are in this situation, but you are. Don't do anything you may end up ashamed of. Getting caught cheating could very well end your marriage but, it will not be "easy". Good luck to you dear.
2007-08-20 02:08:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
to your first question, NO, NO, and let's see, NO. you don't sound very happy in this relationship, you're extremely young, i would suggest telling him what's up, if he doesn't care, break up for a couple of months, THEN, when you find someone start over. otherwise, if you love him like you say, you have to work it out. if you cheat on him, and he finds out which is highly likely, he won't want you. you need to make that decision. cheating isn't fair though. about his mother, you need to address what her problem is with you, maybe something happened you two can discuss, or maybe it's just her personality. if it can't be worked out, just remember, just because you love her son, you don't have to love her, but give some respect for him. you'll figure it all out eventually, good luck.
2007-08-19 17:47:59 · answer #9 · answered by kstarryeyed 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him, then find someone else. What's the point of cheating? You don't need to cheat as you have no true ties. And it doesn't sound like either of you are mature enough for that kind of relationship anyway.
Dump him and move on. You will feel better about yourself and can find someone new without needing to get approval from a bunch of strangers.
And, NO. It's not ok to cheat.
2007-08-19 17:39:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋