How to tactfully ask her if she still intends on sending us a crib?

Question

My bf's ex-wife requested my gift registry, and shortly afterward she told me she would buy a necessary piece of baby furniture and have it shipped to us "next week after payday."

That was 8 weeks ago. The shower is this weekend, and Im due in less than 2 months.

I feel wierd asking her if she still plans on getting the crib for us. Her and I are friendly, but she and my bf are not. What is the tactful... if any... way to do this?

By the way they have a child together, so this is why we remain in contact... FYI just in case anyone wants to jump down by throat about why I talk to his ex-wife. (There have been alot of mean answerers on here lately, it drives me nuts! Be nice or dont answer for pete's sake.)

Answer 1

I don't see any way but to ask her straight out. Try to give her an easy way out. Let her know that it's no big deal, but as you have but two months left to go, you're getting ready to finish off the big ticket shopping & so you're getting a list ready to go shopping.

Hopefully stating it this way will give her the opportunity to back out if she isn't going to be able to get the crib after all. Just be kind to her. Those beds are expensive! It's also possible that she hasn't forgotten and just hasn't gotten around to it yet. Wording it this way might move it up her "to-do" list.

I am so happy that you are getting along with her, since your bf & her have a child together, too. It's important to that child that you get along .. especially since your bf isn't getting along with her right now.

Also, I agree with the outright rude answers on here recently. Grow up, folks.

Answer 2

Is she invited to your shower? If so, it seems like you would get your answer then. Otherwise, I'd probably call her and make the excuse that someone was asking about getting you a crib and you weren't sure what to tell them, so you wanted to know if she was still planning on it or had another idea. Another option is to have a mutual friend mention it to her. Personally, I'm a wimp, so I'd probably just wait and see if one ever showed up. Your baby can easily sleep in a pack and play or bassinet or whatever the first few weeks of life, so I just wouldn't stress over it too much. Easier said than done, I know. Congrats on your upcoming baby :-)

Answer 3

You two should talk, will make it easier on your baby and the other child if you do.

Anyways I would just ask her something like "do you know of anyone that has a crib they want to get rid of" or something like that so she knows you still need a crib. Then that gives her a chance to answer which would let you know without you having to ask her. She may have just forgot or maybe something happen and she just couldn't do it and didn't know how to tell you.

Answer 4

I would tell her that you are almost finishes with the baby's room and the only thing left to do is get a crib and put it up. If she says Oh yeah I am still getting you the crib then ask her when she thinks she can get it to you and that you really apprecitae it. If she says nothing about it then I would forget about it. Best Wishes.

Answer 5

I would just ask, "Hey So-and-So, I was just wondering if you were still planning on getting us that crib? If not, then would you mind if I found one on my own?" That is how I would ask, but that is just me.

I think it is great that you are in contact with your boyfriend's ex. My boyfriend has a son as well, and we are expecting our first child together, but we are not on the best of terms with his son's mother. (They were not together when she got pregnant.) But whenever I talk to her, or am around her I always try to act pleasant and adult like. So don't feel bad for having a nice relationship with his ex at all!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Hi, you can try sending out your updated gift registry to all your friends including ex-wife so that it does not seem too direct. Or just tell her you are finalising on the checklist and want to ensure the guest do not get duplicate gifts for you.

what one of my friend did for hers was to set up a Gift Registry here http://www.mygiftlist.com/

After sending the link to all friends, they can choose or tick the items that they intend to buy for you as a gift. The price for all items will be shown so guests can purchase those items you need according to their budget.

You can also add a reminder date prior to your actual day for guests to confirm the items they will be choosing so that you will not get duplicate gifts.

I think this is the best way to do it without being too demanding or direct.

Answer 7

If i were you I would ask her if she sent the present yet because you dont seem to have recieved it and just wanted to make sure that it didnt get lost in the mail. That way you are seeming concerned about her purchasing it and not recieving it. Its a bit more tacktful than just saying hey have you bought that crib yet?! Lol.

Answer 8

I don't think I would look for that crib if I were you. Although she may have meant well, she probably spoke out of a sudden rush of generosity that she couldn't really afford, since she is a single parent.

Take it for the good intention it was, and don't hold it against her. I wish all of you the best, and good luck to you with the baby!

Answer 9

Tell her that you are going to shop for a crib. That should spur conversation where the subject of whether she intends to make good on her promise or not.

Congratulations.

Answer 10

i'm pretty much in the same situation i'm pretty close to my fiance's daughters mom and he's not other than to talk to his daughter of course..but if you two are close and talk a lot i would just ask her..just say hey i remember that you said you were going to get a crib for us and was just wondering if you were still going to. i don't think that's mean or anything bc she did say she was going to do it.congrats..and good luck!