My friend just recently told me she had been raped by a guy. she is 13 almost 14. I'm the only person she told. I told her that she needs to tell someone, someone older who would know what to do... and maybe tell the police to get this jackass behind bars.
She just keeps telling me to stay out of it, that she can take care of it. But i really think she wont. Either she doesnt care, or shes lying.
I really dont know what to do... help would be nice
2007-08-19 16:00:19 · 24 answers · asked by odd5376 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
first and for most. was is something that was recent? there are alot of questions and alot of answers that matter. if it was recent, and she knows the person, you have to convince her to tell the athorities. this guy, or girl i guess could go and do it again, and she would feel really bad. second, if the person is someone that she knows, it is a good idea to get a little bit of counceling. when i was raped, i didnt tell anyone for years, and the guy did do it again. it haunted me for a long time, and now i have relationship issues. keep talking to her, that helps alot. you know the right things to do. go with your gut instinct about it. and just suport her with what ever she wants to do.
2007-08-19 16:09:19 · answer #1 · answered by bluediamond211 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can't and won't kill her if she gets him thrown in jail first. Or have a restraining order put against him. Also tell her that if he raped her he may be raping other girls also. If he is family or a family friend she must tell, he is dangerous around other friends and family. Also she could get raped by him again if she let's him scare her. Rape is not about sex it is about control he is a control freak, and is saying he will kill her to scare and control her. If she does want him throwen in jail she must have evidence he raped her(even if she doesn't want to take him to court) the sooner she gets tested the better. If she is really scared about the clinic or hospital calling her parents check to see first if they would call. There are organizations and help everywhere. She can get help and stop living in fear.Take her down to the police station when she is ready to tell what happened. And help her through it. Stay away from this person (the one who raped her) and stay with her when ever she has to see him. He may not try anything with people around.Good Luck, and becareful.
2016-03-17 02:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend really was raped than trust me when I say that the reason she has not went to the police or an adult is not because she does not care. Being raped is a horrific thing to have happen to you not just physically but emotionally as well. The best thing for you is to be there for her and let her know that this is not her fault. Be supportive and let her know that you are here for her. She really should tell an adult or just go to the police herself and file a report. Believe it or not but there are alot of women(young and old) that are raped each day and only a small portion of them go to the authorities. The rapist takes away your sense of security, control of your life, you blame yourself for what happened as if you somehow made the person do this to you.
2007-08-19 16:19:25 · answer #3 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think all you can do at this point is be supportive. DO NOT, I mean DO NOT tell anyone about this. I know you mean well, but she will just interpret you as being untrustworthy. Having you to talk to and not being judgemental about the situation, may help her confront her attacker and press charges against him. If one person listens to her story, she may believe others will too. The fact that she's scared to tell may mean that her attacker is someone she knows, so the situation may not be as simple as telling the authorities. Please don't think she is lying. Many rape cases have gone unreported because others think the victim is lying. If the case ever goes to trial, she will defiantely be called more than a liar, so she doesn't need that from people she trusts. I hope your friend reaches out to more than you and gets the courage to persue the matter more seriously. Whoever did that to her needs to have the strictest punishment. I personally feel that rape is the worst thing you can do to a person. She will have that feeling inside of her forever, so her opening up to someone is a big step. Just listen, it means more than you think.
2007-08-19 16:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by klf_the_aquarius80 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She needs to tell someone! She needs to be tested for STDs and pregnancy if it has happened recently. Also she should report it to the police. There are statues of limitations and if she doesn't go now she may regret it later and not be able to do anything the the person who raped her.. Show her this if you need to. Tell her that if she doesn't tell someone you will because it's very serious. She may get mad but you are looking out for her. Be willing to go with her to talk to someone or talk to someone you can trust about it and tell her that you and them will go with her to talk to her parents if she is scared to tell them. It is not her fault! Tell her that if she doesn't take action the person who raped her can just do it to other people. I don't know if she knows the person who raped her, if it is someone close to her she should go to a counseler at school. Make sure she knows that you will 100% support her, and you will help her in anyway that you can. Knowing that you will help her should help her feel better aobut talking to other people. If she won't talk to someone you need to. Talk to your mom, grandma, dad, anyone that you know that you can trust to help you. You are on the right track and you are a wonderful friend for being so worried. you are doing the right thing. She probably is scared from the experience and she may need phsycological counseling at some point.She may get mad at you for telling, don't worry about it because you are trying to protect your friend. But I hope that this helps.
Make sure she knows that you believe her and support her. She needs your support! If she is lying she will probably tell you if you tell her you are going to talk to an adult.
2007-08-19 16:14:52 · answer #5 · answered by PinkPrincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit your friend down and explain to her that you believe her when she tells you this and because of that you can't not tell an adult who both of you feel safe with. The young man that raped her needs not just to be punished but his anger and demeaning behavior toward woman stopped before it continues any further. Your friend is in denial because she is feeling embarrassed, sad, confused, scared and shamed. These feelings will not go away but get worse with time. They can destroy her life if not addressed. Both your friend and boy that assaulted her need help. The sooner the better. If you need help e-mail me, address below, I will help you. I am a 49 y.o single mom with a 22 y.o. daughter and an 11 y.o. son. My daughter had friends that this type thing happened to and we worked it out. Above all else, Do not to nothing. Your guilt over whether you did the right thing will eat you up. Help your friend, her attacker and yourself. Now!
God's Speed and Grace,
Ms. Nancy
nme1022@yahoo.com
2007-08-19 16:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by Nancy E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep trying to convince her..shes just scared right now. Tell her your there for her and will be when she goes to the cops or an adult figure.
Tell her that he needs to be behind bars...he may do this to someone else.
She should preserve the clothes if she hasn't already. Go to the hospital or clinic to get checked out for pregnancy, STDs etc. Tell her to write down what happen, physical description etc of the asshole
2007-08-19 16:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by Krys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to decide whether it is RAPE or not?
If she plays a part in it, then it is NOT rape.
However the law still protect the young ones which is under age.
Whether rape OR NOT, it is WRONG and NOT LEGAL, she should understand that, and she should report it to the police one way or the other. If she does not report to the police, there will be the second, third and forth time. She will be in a sorrt stage, and everyone will treat her like a ****..
take care do the right thing.
2007-08-19 16:09:34 · answer #8 · answered by trymejames 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I realize how young she is and how traumatic this has to be for her, but there are other things she needs to think about. Like what if he has a disease? What if he goes around doing this to other girls? What if he decides to rape her again because she didn't say anything. Tell her parents if you can't convince her. He needs to be punished and now! P.S. She better not be lying about this either, because then HE can press charges against her.
2007-08-19 16:09:57 · answer #9 · answered by sorri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I if I myself is in that condition also I might be confused and sorry the same time cause I dont know what to do but it is not just right that your friend wont tell and report it to the police but maybe shes just protecting herself from being
2007-08-19 16:20:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋