This guy and I like each other for 3 years. We went to college together. We both shy and afraid to be refused so we kept the feeling inside. For 2 years, we hardly talked just enjoy looking at each other from distance. Before I graduated, I told him that I was leaving. We both very sad. I miss him so much. I decided to search for him. I found his website. He wrote poetries about us. He said, he loves me and will wait for me.
I contacted him and we kept in touch as friends--He used to ask me if I want to have a long distance relationship with him. But I said, "NO" I hurt his feeling so we did not talked for 2 months. Then, I decided to talk to him again. He talked to me.
Recently, I don’t want us to be lingering so I asked him to decide whether:
1) we should wait for us to be together
2) we should move on
He said he is more than happy to be friend and very much respect me.
Why he can he choose 1 or 2? Does he still loves me?
Thank you so much for your help
2007-08-19 15:58:12 · 16 answers · asked by Hope 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Since you both kept your feelings for one another inside, it's probably hard for either of you to express your true feelings. You actually did have a long-distance relationship before you graduated and moved, although it was a mental rather than a physical long-distance, since you both kept your distance from one another. It sounds like you're both afraid to make a commitment. But I don't understand why. Obviously, you care for each other, so what's stopping you or him from renewing the friendship, and having it develop into a real relationship? Go ahead and take the plunge. You might have to make the first move, because he's too hesitant to choose a 1 or 2 answer, although I suspect he would like nothing better than to have you as his sweetheart. If I were you, I'd go for it, and grab him before someone else beats you to it. my guess is, give him half a chance and he will fall madly in love and into your arms. Good luck!
2007-08-19 16:10:01 · answer #1 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the only way to find out if he still loves you is to ask him. I don't know if you've had that talk already, but you need to lay it all on the line. You rejected him the first time, so I don't think he's going to put himself in the same position. Those two choices are really hard to make and to put all of that on him. Imagine, he has to decide the future for you both.
You should tell him what you want. If you want to be in a relationship with him, you should move to at least be in driving distance of each other, if possible. A long distance relationship will only frustrate you both. If neither of you can move closer to each other than I would move on. Continue to be friends, because you never know what could happen down the road. Right now may not be the right time for you to be a couple. Or anytime. The only way to find out is to just go for it.
2007-08-19 16:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by Lamour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the long distance relationship see where that takes you until the day you two can be together and explore the relationship in person. Maybe sharing your feelings and fears via long distance will help to get to know each other intimately and answer that question should you be a couple or just remain friends. Don't let that fear of rejection stop you you'll regret it because the "What if" question well never go away because you didn't explore.
2007-08-19 18:14:13 · answer #3 · answered by dizzymom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had my doubts in love (actually, being only 14, I'm still a bit lost with my crush). But don't give up. I'd shoot for option 1. After all that you've been through together? C'mon, stick together. Right now, you're just in a tough situation because you're not physically together. My crush went on vacation on the other side of the globe over the summer; I began doubting my love for her as well. But after seeing her when she came back made me feel a lot better. Maybe you should decided on seeing each other again at some point?
Choose option 2 once he denies you, but in the meantime, stick with him. He respects you; when a guy likes a girl, of course he would respect her. At least, I respect my crush.
2007-08-19 16:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Tired 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a relationship for 3 years cant be forgotten that easily. my personal opinion is that is takes the same number of years as the relationship for us to totally accept that goodbyes are a part of life. he might still have feelings for you, maybe so do you. but the question is if he does, will that make a difference? would the both of you get back together? if it doesn't then i think you shouldnt think about it so much [the fact that you have broken up for over a year and didnt get back together says something] as for the poems, some people are just lazy to delete all those. or maybe he wants to treasure those memories with you. or maybe (just maybe) he's keeping it up there because you guys did break up because u dont understand him and he's really living the poems. these are just possibilities, but ultimately you know best :)
2016-05-17 12:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by lovie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didnt talk to you because rejection hurts. You should be friends, if nothing else, even if it is long distance, you can still see eachother, like plan out visits, but long distance relationships, arnt the best way to go.
2007-08-19 16:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO he wants to be with you. He had feelings for you and they were strong and was affraid to tell you about them. But the farther you get from eachother, the farther his feelings will become. Long distant relationships never work. I think if he truely wanted to spend the rest of his life with you he would climb any mountain, cross any stream to get to you and since he is still sitting on his hands, Its not love and will not go anywhere.
2007-08-19 16:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mystic Warrior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that when you said NO to the long distance thing, he felt that you shut him down and he doesn't want to be in that position anymore.
If you really want to know how he feels about you, ask him. It's the only way to know for sure.
2007-08-19 16:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Ang_Bluestones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he went out on the limb and asked you for a long distance relationship and you said NO ... he not only was hurt but embarrassed .. he vowed that day he would never let you do that to him again .. therefore now you have to pay for your decision
2007-08-19 16:04:52 · answer #9 · answered by DUSTIN S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he loves you but being with you is love and meanwhile you are not sure of what you want. He may feel unsecure, at the time you come to him. But all I can tell you if you really love him, you have to go to him and talk to him face to face to convince him if he doesn't have anyone else that you don't know about.
2007-08-19 16:06:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋