WAL-MART APPLICATION
This is an actual job application that a 75 year
old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny.....
NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, would I be applying here in the first place?
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m.
Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
****** OLD PEOPLE ROCK
2007-08-19 14:56:00 · 11 answers · asked by Nita and Michael 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
That is hysterical.
Too funny.
I hope to grow old someday and be able to get away with saying exactly what is on my mind.
Peace.
2007-08-19 15:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man I love the elderly. I use to volunteer at a retirement home and they are so funny, truly the greatest generation.
2007-08-19 15:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by Dungeon Master 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was some great application I love old people they have are so young at heart
2007-08-19 18:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by Karie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's Really Hilarious!!!.
But you know we should note that even at this age this elderly person is able to tickle us all, even getting a job for him.
We should, definitely, learn from him.
I still confused to accept it or not
2007-08-20 02:29:25 · answer #4 · answered by cool_guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was that a real application? Hilarious!
2007-08-19 15:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kraziegurl79 ist ein Rock Star 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the one thing you can always count on old people is that they have a sense of humor
2007-08-19 16:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by w_damara2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you're 75 you can get away with sh*t like that too. I love it!
2007-08-19 15:03:24 · answer #7 · answered by collynn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha - I just hope I am still like that at that age (and I haven't got far to go!).
2007-08-19 15:17:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've read it before, and find it amusing.
2007-08-19 15:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all im guna say is wow
2007-08-19 15:02:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋