Ok - I work in an office where we have 2 girls from overseas. English is their 2nd language and sometimes they struggle a bit with our culture. They often come to me and ask questions and for advice. Today 1 of them came to me and said she might be pregnant. She took a test which was a BFP so I suggested she did another. I went with her to the pharmacy & got her one & suggested she get some pre-natal vitamins. This test also came back + so she is pregnant.
I have offered to take her to my doctor & told her I am there for her if she has any issues or wants someone to talk to. She is in her early 30s so she is not a young girl but she has no family here & I just really want to be there for her as she is my friend. The problem is I feel a bit jealous of her as I had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago & am still waiting for my periods to become regular so I can get pregnant again.I just want to be pregnant too & her news makes me a bit sad. Am I being too jealous or is it ok to feel this way?
2007-08-19 14:38:43 · 25 answers · asked by fijibabie 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Its fine to feel this way its only natural. Jst be there for her as a friend like you already are and keep you chin up. Things will work out for you to it might jst take a little longer than you hoped. You are a really good friend if we all had friends like you the world would be a nicer place
good lick and hope things work out for you XXXXXXXX
2007-08-21 02:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by dan fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no... a miscarriage is a horrible thing to go through!!! I can understand how you feel. 7 weeks is not that long ago. I had a really good friend at work who was pregnant at the same time as one of the other girls we work with well my friend miscarried and it was really hard on her to see the other girl get "bigger". She was very happy for her but was jealous and upset at the same time . I'm pretty sure it's just a normal thing. It will get better just hang in there.
2007-08-19 14:56:04 · answer #2 · answered by ms.pookie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the grass is always greener on the other side. Losing a baby can't be easy, but neither is an unplanned pregnancy. I'd say for both of you just try to realize that things do happen for a reason. I'm sure you will go on to have a beautiful healthy baby when the time is right. And for your friend, this baby just might end up being the best thing to happen to her. No one really knows why things happen when and how they do, all we can do is hope things will turn out in the end. Good luck to you and your friend.
2007-08-19 14:54:28 · answer #3 · answered by Freaked out 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you had a miscarriage.
but to what you have said about you and your friend i would say that you have one the right thing by her and i think that you have help her a lot more them maybe a lot of the other people at your work would have done so that is truly wonderful of you to do when your going though this part in your own life.
if you feel that your going to get hostile with your friend then maybe you should tell her how things are for you and then at lest you will not lose the friendship and you can maybe help her with the things that she will be going tough too. maybe also you will be able to play a big role in her child's life and that is a nice thing i would say!
but i would think that if your able to help her and not take it out on her that you have not got your baby then you will be a big help to her.
Good luck with your next try :)
2007-08-19 14:52:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did the same thing with a friend of mine. She was pregnant with unexpected baby #3 and I tried for months with nothing. Why was is so easy for her to have 3 without trying I couldn't get just one? I cried for days after I found out.
I think it's normal to feel that way. Either that or I am a horrible jealous person too. I did get over it but not until I was pregnant also. How awful is that?
2007-08-19 14:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly fine for you to feel this way! It's a normal reaction! My husband and I are having problems conceiving our second child, and all of my friends are getting pregnant right now. With each new pregnancy popping up, I'm starting to get a little upset. You definitely go through the "why me!" stages and it's normal. If it's hard for you to be there for your friend, then just back off a little until you're ready to try again yourself. It's hard to be there for someone when you want something that they have!!! Hang in there! Good luck!
2007-08-19 14:48:02 · answer #6 · answered by Megan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well - I am a dude and all. I can't get pregnant and I would be jealous! Heck no. I think that you are totally normal and are having a totally normal reaction.
Do you want to be more involved? Perhaps this person's lack of openedness toward you now that she knows that she is pregnant is offending you? It is preventing you from living through that part of life with her.
I would think that there is a certain level of greif when experiencing loss of life. While I am unsure what your beliefs are, I would be bold enough to tell you that God is available for your prayers and he is open to you asking for a baby. My grandmother had 10 miscarriages untill she finally had my mother.
So I would fear not. Try again. Love that person but respect her space and know that it is NOT a reflection on you and she is not favored by heaven over you just because she is pregnant.
-Tom
2007-08-19 14:56:09 · answer #7 · answered by Tom H 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is perfectly natural to feel this way.. allow yourself to work through the emotions and deal with them. Just don't let it interfere with your relationship. It took me a long time to get over the fact that my friend got pregnant after her first month of trying... at the time, I had already been trying for months and then another year and a half after that. It is normal to feel resentment, but I tried to not let that control how I felt towards her.
2007-08-19 14:48:02 · answer #8 · answered by Holy Macaroni! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are being a really good friend and providing much needed support. So sad to hear your news, but what you are feeling is understandable. When i had my miscarriage my doctor told me to wait three months then try again. I did and all was well second time.
Don't beat yourself up over what you are feeling, acknowledge it and carrying on being the good friend that you are. Good luck for the future.
2007-08-19 14:55:44 · answer #9 · answered by Maggs 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
soooo okay to feel this way!! My husband and i were trying for 3 years to get pregnant with no success, when my non married best friend who had only been in her relationship for 6 months and had an abortion 2 months prior told me she was pregnant. I didn't speak to her for days and told her i was going to throw shoes at her!!! Of corse I got over it quickly ( and found out weeks later that i was expecting as well!!).
You are human. And the desire to have children is such a deep one, you are a good friend, but you get to feel this way.Especially with your recent loss. It is best to let yourself feel the way you do instead of push it down inside so that you can move past it and start to be totally happy for your friend.
Good luck
2007-08-19 14:50:01 · answer #10 · answered by deans_mom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋