How can i calm down, relax, and be less panicky?

Question

I have a huge fear of bees, spiders, dark, heights, bats, mosquitos, etc. Whenever i see something like a bee, i instantly freak out. I was with my parents once and we were eating hotdogs, a bee came by and i started going insane throwing food everywhere >.<

I cant calm down!! Im like paranoid :P I see something flying, my brain automatically registers that its a bee and i freak out. Same with spiders. I always look behind my back because im so cautious.

Ahh whats wrong with me?! I need to find a way (other than listening to music on my ipod, which works) to calm down and be less stressed about it.

Yes, ive done research on my fears (mainly bees and spiders, spiders done for a school project and bees done on my own curiosity) and ive also done research on Phobias (phobias are just fears we were born with to say OMG STAY AWAY FROM THAT THEYRE DANGEROUS)

Oh, im 12 by the way.

I absolutely understand that they're not there to hurt me. But everyone says i have an overactive imagination. So thats a problem. Plus, ive watched the discovery channel way to many times i know everything about *KILLER* bees. Also, ive been stung alot when i was a kid, so have my friend (got stung in the leg and had to go to the hospital, then he couldnt walk for a couple days)

Answer 1

ok - so you don't like insects. Lots of people hate em.

It's probably because that little tickle you feel on your legs and arms are spiders crawling on you.

Answer 2

One thing you have to know about a lot of insects is their fear of you. Bees in general will not attack you if not provoked. I have been around many bees and remained calm. They have landed on me, buzzed around; but as long as you don't swing at them or provoke an attack, they will fly around for a while and leave. Same with spiders. They do not bite unless you provoke them. Mosquitoes on the other hand, are going to bite you. You are what they eat; of course, when you find them biting you, you generally kill them before they can fly away. A little any itch cream will stop any irritation. Just try to remember that they shouldn't rule your life. once you see that they aren't going to hurt you, you should be able to relax more.

Answer 3

It's okay if you don't like insects (in fact, I don't like flies and mosquitos at all).... but there is no need for you to throw your food everywhere.... (1) If the bug is flying toward you, then start panick; however, if not, then don't be panick (even the bug want to ask you: "why you are so panick when I'm not after you?") (2) My sister was afraid of dark too; however, she was also the person who sleeps first at night (how ironic......), don't worry, just leave a night lamp on when you sleep, and that should work... Don't be afraid of bats, because bats mostly come out at night (which you don't like), so just stay in your room at night (however, bats don't like areas with lights at all)... Spiders won't stay on your back, because they prefer a naturally things instead of human's body (such as window corners, room corners...etc)... If you feel something on your back, most of them are either someone is making joke on you or you feel itch.....

Answer 4

Phobias such as this are usually rooted in a past experience whereby you would associate a negative or bad outcome in relation to being in close proximity with the object you fear. In your case it could be as a child you were stung by a bee or saw a friend hurt, watched a documentary about killer bees etc. These are what we commonly call "Irrational Fears" because they are not based on any tangible threat, rather a threat that you yourself have created in your head. When you consider that more people die from crossing over the road and getting hit by cars than from bee-stings, yet very few people have a panic episode everytime they attempt to cross the road, you can see why such a phobia is classified as such.

The best way to treat this fear is simply to overcome it and desensitise yourself to the negative stimulus. This may start with something simple, like looking at a static image of the object that frightens you. Whilst looking at it concentrate on what you are feeling, both physically and mentally. Take a note of what thoughts go through your mind; Do you think about the sting? Is it the appearance that bothers you? Perhaps you're just disgusted by the thought of it touching you? Understanding your thought processes when you are frightened, especially in a controlled environment, will equip you for actually tackling the phobia head on.

As for taking on the phobia itself, it's important to know that you'll never be able to completely control how you experience it. You can theoretically go your life running from bees, but really that's not what you want. The next time you see this stimulus in the flesh, instead of allowing your knee-jerk fear reaction to kick in put yourself into another state of mind. Step outside of your thoughts and your fears, and instead observe the scene critically. Even if you do this for only a few seconds, that disruption of the negative reaction is a big positive! Once you are in this "observer" mode, start making mental notes much like you would have practiced; What am I feeling? What am I seeing? What dangers are there? Avoid using descriptive or emotive language to classify these moods. If you find your train of thought starts sounding like "I'm thinking about the beesting. O god, what if it does sting me? I may have an allergic reaction! I may die! This is the worst place in the world!" - Stop! Mentally yell stop or pinch your skin with your fingernails to associate a physical sensation to capitalise the thought. Remember that your negative reaction is a fully built-in, understandable survival instinct that has kept humans alive for thousands of years. There's nothing shameful about being afraid. But you can learn to overcome your fear by simply stopping yourself from reacting immediately, observing the scene and seeing that the sense of danger you have accumulated over the years is infact unfounded in reality.

Answer 5

Hey it's okay. I hate bugs too, but you know what? They're probably more afraid of you than you are of them. I'm not trying to give you the lecture you've probably heard a million times about how you're bigger than them and you shouldn't be afraid of them. It'll take some time and it may not be easy, but what's the worst thing that can happen? Most of the things you're afraid of are harmless. You don't have to touch a bat or let a spider crawl up your back, just stay out of their way and they'll stay out of yours. Hope this helps!

Answer 6

You have a number of good responses here. I want to suggest a bigger picture concept. This applies to someone in my family. What is your expectation of the unknown? If you believe deep down that the unknown is always negative, you have to look at the track record of the truth of that belief. Have unknowns become positive in your life? Have you handled unexpected change successfully in the past?
What I am talking about is core beliefs, the deep down things that color how we react to situations we face.
If, for example, I have the opposite core belief, that I never make mistakes, I will be crushed when I do make one. I won't understand it, because I won't see it as a challenge to my core belief, but that is what it is. If I have the core belief that the unknown is always negative, I will be scared of the unknown and will be afraid of change.

Answer 7

I hate bees, I got stung a lot as a kid and fear them,if I see one I run ! Spiders freak me out with their weird bodies and legs, during the summer they climb the ceiling in my room I can not sleep if they are on the ceiling so I get out a vacuum and suck them up! I think it is a normal fear a built in instinct to run or jump from them.
When I am stressed I put on a cassette on "How to Meditate" and it really relaxes me and works!

Answer 8

You need mental help, my friend. Ask your doctor for a referral to a great psychiatrist. Meds would help a lot, but I think you need avoidance therapy.

This can be fixed. Don't worry

TX Mom
A patient

Answer 9

You just have to teach yourself to stay calm and not to panic. Try different breathing techniques or if your fear of those things are too an extreme to where you can't function, think about seeing a therapist to help you with it.

Answer 10

when i was a boy, i had a natural fear of bees since i was stung by 20 yellow jackets.

one day my grandmother was on the porch spreading home made jelly on homemade bread, yum!!!
a wasp landed on her hand and she just ignored it. I yelled grandma!! a wasp! she said calmly "dont worry they react to fear and fast movement, be calm move normally and they will move on" it did.

ever since i just move calm and slow and, they go away.

this may not help but you triggard a good memory.

remember, bees are vegetarians, and wasps are carnivores and raiders.