I met a really great guy. Catch is, he is married. He is gay, and is working on a divorce, but it will take some time. People keep telling me "That's what they all say" etc, but why do they all say it? Are all married men lying about that?
I know he's lying to his wife, but we live in a state where he could lose custody of his kids if he came out too early.
2007-08-19 13:17:54 · 44 answers · asked by The Doctor 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Wow! I am really surprised by these answers. They are 98% against your dating this man.
In my opinion, what YOU do is fine either way. Date him and enjoy it. Find someone else and enjoy him. The person with the problem is him. Can HE date you and enjoy it? HE has to answer that, not you.
There might be one catch. Personally, I dislike dating closeted men. It's simply too much work. If he's being dishonest to you about his divorce, then he's using that lie to stay in the closet and still get a piece of @ss on the side.
Life is short. Eat dessert first.
2007-08-19 15:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by inactive account 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Hell ya you are wrong! You are both wrong but since you asked and will tell you what I think! what the hell is wrong with you even asking this question? You need help! This is the most basic common sense answer...apparently you are lacking this so you are asking. Honey go to therapy. For your children's sake! My husband had a little dirty secret snake like you. He made me out to be some beast too, yet the other women never even met me yet made assumptions and tried to ruin my reputation based on faulty facts. I have no respect 4 women like you. How dare do you call yourself a woman of substance? You are a woman of NO substance. A great mother? what? Are you mental? Bringing a married lover and exposing him to your kids is what a BAD mother does. A great mother keeps unavailable men away from her kids. It also sounds like you envy his wife. Don't hate cuz she may be a model and you obviously have low self-esteem considering the **it hole u are in. You can tell by her pictures how she is? Do you always judge a book by its cover? You also believe the lies this man tells you about her. Why is he with her then? He loves her or he would leave. I would rather model on the net half nude if I had the body than sleep with married man and blame the wife for my immoral actions. You are the BAD woman, not the wife. You are poor excuse for a woman! Go to church, you need help! I
2016-05-17 11:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously worried about losing his custody, Once a man is gay he's defintiely gay, there's no going back, so I wouldn't worry about him cheating on you with his almost ex-wife, however, don't get too tangled up with someone who is on the balance of a divorce, because it's always an iffy situation. I would say give him some time, if you're really meant to be then after the whole turmoil of the divorce gets off his shoulder he'll find you, be patient. Try to not get hurt
2007-08-19 13:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by Leo 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, the question as to whether something is right or wrong is a philosophical and ethical question, that has been long debated. In Peter Singer's book, "How Are We to Live?", Singer points to Socrates' and Plato's teaching, "people do wrong only if their reason is unable to control their spirit". The two great philosophers also said that, "There is no distinction between knowing what is good and deciding to do it." This same idea can be applied to the contrary, there is no distinction b/w knowing what is wrong and deciding not to do it. So, even if you know having a disgusting affair with this man is wrong, you wouldn't give a dam* b/c you wouldn't be able to control your desires.
2007-08-19 14:36:30 · answer #4 · answered by jset1989 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many men lie about that... He could be being honest with you... but too many people have been burned by that line ya know...
Getting a divorce does take time, most people don't understand the time and energy (and MONEY!) that is spent on it.
He is lying to his wife, but it is out of love for her. Think of how heart breaking it will be to the women to find out he is gay and in love with another man. I am sure he is just trying to resolve things as smoothly as he can.
The best thing you could do for him sugar is just be supportive for him. He is going through a big change in his life, he needs someone strong to hold his hand, and his heart.
2007-08-19 13:27:28 · answer #5 · answered by Mom 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's wrong. Makes no difference if you are gay or not. A married man is a married man. Period. Leave him alone until after the divorce is final.
If you get mixed up in a divorce, it will put a damper on your relationship. This advice is for straight and gay couples alike. Divorce is a very stressful time, why put yourself through this?
2007-08-19 13:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by Clueless 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
YES it's completely wrong. You should get out of this mess before it's a complete catastrophe. First things first: see if he's actually MAN enough to get that divorce, make sure his kids are taken care of AND settle things with his wife. You have no place being with him until all those things are taken care of first. This has disaster written all over it, and the ones who stand to lose the most are his kids. You're actually the lucky one here....he's the one that's got the most work ahead of him. Good luck on this one. I hope you all come out of this unscathed.
2007-08-19 14:14:42 · answer #7 · answered by gnomiechick 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the marriage is over, and you like him (and he you). There may or may not be anything wrong, morally speaking, with dating this man, but you need to take a step back and think about yourself for a few seconds. They say it is best to be the next romance but one (in other words, the second boyfriend) when someone is breaking up. Unfortunately, it is often times the one who listened patiently and compassionately to the tales of anguish and frustration, devised ways to distract the unhappy one, took the phone calls at midnight when an eruption occurred, and suppressed his own desires to devote his time nurturing the oppressed one back to emotional health that gets dumped when the recovered one is ready to fall in love again. It doesn't always happen that way, but there is some wisdom in it. Think about it.
2007-08-19 14:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mwah,
IF this nice man is looking to retain custody of his kids… Do him a fever. Leave him alone for a few months. When it’s all over, THEN take him down to the ball park for wieners in buns.
Hugs,
PennyAnn
2007-08-19 14:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're asking for a ton of heartache. Even if he does get a divorce, I can almost guarantee you he'll move on afterward.
You'll be a reminder of the drama he went through during a divorce. If you dont mind wasting time on a married man who may or may not get divorced-have fun. You know it's wrong, but if you dont care about that either-go for it.
2007-08-19 13:28:42 · answer #10 · answered by techtwosue 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋