My husband and I have been unsuccessful in having a child as of yet. We are not wanting to be stingy or anything, but with us having such a hard time, would it be better or make sense to just have one? I myself am an only child and I turned out great.
2007-08-19 13:04:36 · 22 answers · asked by Nicole E 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I have only one child and it is wonderful for me.
I have TIME to really spend reading to her and talking to her because I am not busy with another baby. I can really pour myself into caring for her and teaching her because I am not torn between two or more children. I really REALLY enjoy only having one and knowing that I can always give her 100%. She has a very high vocabulary, is well mannered, is a straight A student, is highly social and gets along great with others. I just make sure to always have her in playgroups and I always have friends and cousins over to our house so she never feels lonely, and she can learn to interact and share.
I know that, if you do it right, an only child can excell above all others. Not having siblings is something that I felt bad about for a long time, I didn't want her to miss out on that, but I think having her be so close to her cousins has really filled that gap.
Research has actually shown, that contrary to popular beleif, only children are actually well adjusted and sucessfull adults.
It is certainly not selfish to give 100% to one child. It would be selfish to put more children into a financially strained home or an over-crowded situation where they wouldn't thrive.
Good luck to you!!!
2007-08-19 13:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What would be selfish would be to have any number of children that you can not afford, emotionally, spiritually or economically. The monetary costs of having and successfully raising a child thru age 22, when by then you would hope they are through college and beginning a satisfying, positive life that benefits them and others, grows exponentially every day. Of course, being a parent is so much more than money, but in all fairness, doing it well, being a good role model, keeping a family in tact and teaching that child by your example what true generosity and love are, can be daunting. There are many children of multi-sib families that are really wonderful and a benefit to the world. There are also many wonderful "only child" children who are also a joy to behold. It will all depend on what you and your husband set as goals for your personal family and to what degree you are both willing to go to support and succeed in that goal. The most important thing is that you are both seriously thinking it through and understanding and accepting the decision you both come to in the end.
2007-08-19 20:21:25 · answer #2 · answered by FAZLMAI 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its selfish at all. It can be alot easier for some families to have more than 1 kid because it gives them someone to play with who lives there. For other families, some just want 1 kid. You can always sign your kid up for things like Boy or Girl Scouts, summer camp, school activities, starting preschool as early as possible, and also sign up for childcare (even if its just for a few hours a week if you dont work outside the home) so that your child can socialize with other kids. Also of course join playdate groups when the child is young if you are able to fit it into your schedule. I do think it would be selfish to have 1 child and then never let them out to socialize.
2007-08-19 20:16:45 · answer #3 · answered by Somaesthesia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! What a strange question! That one caught my attention!
Selfish to whom?
I'm an only child and I think whether I had siblings or not my life would still be the same. When you're an only child the quality of your experience depends on the parents.
You be there for the child, attention and all, and you'll be fine!
2007-08-19 20:16:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...great question. You are in the same exact boat as me. I am an only child and only have one child (a girl). We have decided not to have more than one (long story...but basically we are genetically incompatible and had major blood problems when she was born) and risk miscarriage or brain damage should we get pregnant again. So....
I think I turned out pretty darned well. I was definitely spoiled as a child, but had the "education always comes before anything else" instilled by my teacher-father. I will be doing the same for my daughter. She will be (is) spoiled, especially by her grandparents, but I get many positive reactions by others (i.e. went to a very long wedding/reception and she got a little out-of-hand a couple times but people told me she behaved very well).
She will miss out on something though...the comraderie of having a sibling...someone close in age who is always there for her. She is often bored and if you ask me, always looking to please her friends (like they are a lifeline of sorts for her).
So positives/negatives each way...it all depends on how you raise him/her. Good luck!
2007-08-19 20:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by CG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't selfish to have only one child. In my opinion a lot of only children get treated better than children with siblings. Only children sure get a lot more attention (a lot of the time!). Hubby and I decided long ago to only have one child. Financially it makes much more sense for us. Whatever is right for you guys is the right thing to do.
2007-08-19 20:16:28 · answer #6 · answered by Go 24! JG is Awesome! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No but its not too too fun! I can sure tell you that. Im an only child and i have always wished to have a brother or sister.
I always told my self that when i have children i would never do that too them .
And well all planed out well I have a 16 month old little boy and a 4 day old little girl!
2007-08-19 20:11:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think it's selfish? It's completely up to you as to how many children you want. If having one child makes you feel complete then by all means have only one.
I have only one, would have liked two but it doesn't seem to be in the cards. You get what you get.
2007-08-19 20:12:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish, but you do have to work harder at making opportunities for your child to interact with other families. Otherwise, they tend to suffer from shellshock when they visit other families (yeah, happened to my ex-bil). My Dad was also an only child, not by choice, but my grandparents also had the money to send him to a private military school. It would not even have been an option had they had more children.
2007-08-19 20:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Im an only child, and at first I wished I had siblings, but Id never want to share my parents. You can focus on one child, and help them do their best. I think it just depends on how the parents were brought up. Good luck
2007-08-19 20:50:43 · answer #10 · answered by Madi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋