Can I hear experiences from swingers??

Question

Just curious.. if you are able to have a successful relationship as swingers. :)

Thanks!!

Answer 1

Yes, lots of swingers have very happy and successful relationships.

Basically, you can whittle why people swing down to two basic categories: 1) those that swing to "fix" or to "spice-up" a dying relationship, and 2) those that have a great relationship and swing as a natural extension of that.

#1 never stays together. They already don't like each other for one reason or another and swinging just gives them one more thing to fight about. And it is always easier to blame your crap on something or someone else than to own it yourself, so swinging gets the blame for the years of self-inflicted damage they did before they started having sex with others. We call these "drama couples" in the lifestyle and they're usually easy to identify and most stay away from them for good reasons.

As an open-mined, non-swinger friend once observed after attending several swinger parties with us "Swinging is like the icing on the cake. But if the cake underneath doesn't have all the ingredients to make it solid, all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling."

#2 are the ones that can swing and it actually strengthens their relationship. These are the ones that feel that sex can be an expression of love, but it also can be a fun activity separate of love, and sex with someone you love is totally different than sex with someone you don't. And just because you have sex with someone doesn't mean you're going to fall in love with them. These couples are also open and honest with each other, and have total trust and commitment to each other. They are the ones who believe their happiness is dependent on their spouse's happiness. They share fantasies and are not afraid to allow their spouse to live them out because they have as much fun at is as their spouse does.

Does this mean everyone should swing? No. Some are just not cut-out for it and some use it for for the wrong reasons. Some can have that trusting, secure relationship and not have sex with others, and others will always hold secrets from their spouse because of insecurities and jealousies. It's different things for different people.

For some more, honest and objective information regarding swinging, check-out The Swingers Board Forums. You'll hear from lots of people on there from newbies to veterans, and hear the good and the bad. Then you can make-up your mind for yourself.

Answer 2

Look, In life all people must do the things that they wish to do and no matter what someone else gets from an experience,it doesn't mean you are guaranteed to receive the same. This is regardless of it being good or bad. I know you are going to get alot of answers telling you that you are messing up. And it just may be true. Either way you have both decided to do this and have already gone to the point of no turning back. Yes, you can always quit doing it but as far as human nature goes, once you excel to a level of this type, it will take alot of effort to just have the "norm" without feeling its less than the best.Live with your choices and if you are going to continue this than you both need to be completely honest with each other and yourselves.Otherwise things of this extent can make a good thing turn bad very quickly.Be sure you both still enjoy the intimate times you have when just alone and use those to make love. From experience I am also going to tell you that eventually this will grow old for one of you,or maybe both. But this is going to be the time when all the work of staying a close and loving couple is going to be most needed in order to move forward. Good luck!

Answer 3

Can I hear experiences from swingers?? Sure!

We went to a few clubs and really enjoyed it. Recently we have been using
www.swingingcoupes.net and have had some great fun with local swingers and singles!

Answer 4

Going on eighteen years of marriage and we have doing a form of swinging for almost ten of those years. Plenty of swingers have successful, lifelong marriages. Do not let the naysayers and self-proclaimed experts convince you otherwise. Most studies have found the same rate of divorce/non-divorce across all demographics,

Answer 5

Yes! My wife and I have been married over 10 years and have swinging friends married 20+...the key to swinging is having rules and boundaries, respect for each other, and starting out slow....We do "soft swap" which is teasing, foreplay, even oral sex, pretty much anything but intercourse, usually the two couples together in the same room....that's what my wife and I are into...could never get into the full swap mode.......HOWEVER,...got to be able to separate sex from love...if you can't do that, it can be disastrous.

Answer 6

I've known probaly 15-20 couples who were in "open relationships" - swinging, etc.

Of those, only 1 couple is still together that I know of.

Jealousy, one partner pressuring the other into participating, partners falling in love with the secondary and divorcing/dumping the primary, stress, and strain are common factors in the downfall of the primary relationship once it is opened to outside parties.

Tread carefully.

Answer 7

My lady I only use slides not swings

Answer 8

my husbnad an I tried an open marriage and it turned out horrible after he lost his mind and thought he had "two wives" and that he needed to spend his time equally between us both... what kinda crap was that???
so we stopped after some major fighting over that...
and we managed to save our marriage... although some of the trust is gone

Answer 9

Are you swinging both ways?

Answer 10

It works better if only the wife has sex outside the marriage, of course with hubby's blessing.