I am 20 yrs old. I have a 4 month old baby boy with my fiance. We have known each other since 1999 and have officially been a couple since 2004. We are engaged to be married next month, he proposed on June 28, 2007. Problem is when I was pregnant I started talking to a old friend of mine. I have started to catch feelings for this guy. I have talked to him and he feels the same way. My fiance knew that I had a friend because we weren't together at that time I started talking to him. Problem is I am confused I want to be with my fiance but at the same time I want to see what could become between me and this other guy. But I dont want to lose my fiance as a friend. He is a wonderful father, he is a stay at home dad so I can go to school. He can also be very attentative but also very jealous. I have talked to him numerous times and he is trying but to me not fast enough. Question is should I get married or wait and see???
2007-08-19 12:36:52 · 8 answers · asked by ablockgurl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are having feelings for someone else then you should not get married but dont call off the engagment just yet. Alot of times when people get into a serious relationship (married, engaged) they see someone else in a different light, always searching for that grass is greener on the other side thing but you should really ask yourself why you and this friend never had feelings before and really think about long term happiness and which person you could see yourself with.
If you still cant figure it out then i would suggest at least ending the relationship you are in because you shouldn't string him along but its hard to maintain a friendship with someone, best thing is not to push it and hopefully it will come back to that since you have a child together.
2007-08-19 13:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by kitty_witty18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 21 and I'm saying wait. Don't go into a marriage just because you have a child with this man, or because of how great of a father he is. You won't just make yourself miserable, but him and the baby as well. If you have ANY doubt, don't get married! You're still young, and still have so many different options out there. I'm sure you're fiance would appreciate you telling him the real deal now instead of you realizing you love your other friend a year into your marriage, or worse, you end up cheating on your new husband and you lose him as a friend completely. I also noticed you said he is very jealous.....if he finds out you have started getting feelings for your old friend, things will be really bad, and if you're married, good luck with the nasty divorce. You may even lose the baby to him if he fights for custody and proves your infidelity. Good luck and make sure you are prepared before you take the big leap!
2007-08-19 12:48:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have got ot be honest. you just had a baby. and whether you want to hear it or not, don't make any major decisions unless your life in in danger at least up to one year after you have had a baby. don't cut your hair, don't move houses, don't change partners and don't get a divorce.
the only possible way you can stall anything is to hold off the wedding for another 8 months. use your hormones as an excuse, even your body weight. think about what you are considering asking this old friend of yours. your asking him to pick up where your fiance is going ot leave off. is he willing ot be a full-time dad to someone else's child? is he willing to spend the rest of his life on you the way your fiance is doing now?
2007-08-19 12:48:50 · answer #3 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 22 with 2 kids been married 4yrs now dont get me wrong I'm happy and I love my husband dearly. But I would say wait you are still so young just because you have a baby together doesn't mean you have to marry him. Take sometime to yourself for awhile if your not sure about your feelings for him. Dont cheat on him though that'll only make thing worse. Like I said just take a break see how things are on your own for awhile.
2007-08-19 12:56:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say to give your engagement a lot more time. A three month engagement (what, June to September?) just isn't long enough for anyone that young. Give it at least a year, move on away from this "friend" and stay with your child's father.
2007-08-19 12:44:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling please do a longer engagement. I just go engaged in August and in May I graduate from college. I will be 22 when I get married.I do not have any kids so I can't help you there. If you even think you like another guy then just call off the wedding. You don't need infidelity in your marriage.
2007-08-19 13:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by Bride2Be 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know for SURE who's baby it really is? If it is your fiance's, you had better not get involved with another man at this point. If you do, you might end up raising this one alone!
2007-08-19 12:48:46 · answer #7 · answered by K M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not sure wait. Just remember that this could explode and you might loose your fiance
2007-08-19 12:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by foxandthehound 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋