What do you think of parents who...........?

Question

My best friends niece is staying with her along with the parents. The girl is 19 years old, dropped out of school when she was 15, got fired from every job because of laziness A couple jobs lasted only 2 hours. Says she has a thyroid problem, that is why she is about 75 lbs. overweight (I saw 6 boxes of "Little Debbie" snacks on her bed).. Why do parents not insist on making their kids get an education, learn to pick up after themselves, be productive, do something with your life instead of watching soap operas? I cannot imagine what this girls life will be like, to me, she seems doomed. The parents are allowing this to happen to their daughter She even tells her parents to get her drinks from the kitchen, make her a sandwich, for petes sake, get off the couch and help yourself!

Answer 1

Dear this is the rule of the day here in Italy. Your children leach off of you until you die. They refuse to leave home,if they work,the money they make is THEIRS,no contributing to household bills.At 35 they are still called boys and girls.The mothers clean their rooms,make their beds,do their laundry and prepare their meals.Yes,it is the parents fault,if you raise your children to depend utterly on you,don't teach them to stand up on their own two feet,this is what happens.When I point this out, the parents usually tell me WE are wrong,other cultures that insist a child grow and mature to adulthood. Here,there are laws which don't allow you to kick the lazy little so and so out on their bums.It will come back to bite them.

Answer 2

Hmmmm - well, you could put all the blame on the parents, and you might be right. Certainly, if she hasn't been disciplined (I mean given firm rules and guidelines) from the time she was a baby, the parents bear quite a lot of responsibility for her lack of self-discipline now.

But it might be just her personality - maybe the parents gave her all the right guidelines when she was little, and when she got to her teens, she just threw them all away and rebelled by dropping out of school Though at 15, I should have thought the parents could have insisted on her remaining there because of her age.

She obviously doesn't have any interest in working, and her thyroid problem (so called) might easily be cured by eating less and more sensibly. Actually, it sounds as if she's very depressed, which is hardly surprising. She hasn't any motivation to do anything, from what you say, except eat!

But you are probably right about her parents - if they do what she wants and fetch and carry for her. And I don't know why parents are like that. Sometimes I think they are killing their children with misguided "kindness", which is really indulging them to death, because they don't want them to be unhappy - another way of saying nobody must ever deny them whatever they want. These parents seem incapable of recognising the plain fact that all this kindness has resulted in a dissatisfied, unmotivated blob of a girl who has no life at all.

I think that when parents do indulge their children like this, it starts off with their own thoroughly selfish desire to avoid dealing with confrontation and protest. It's easier for them just to give the child what she's demanding, rather than apply themselves to teaching her that she can't always have what she wants. Rather than weather the temporary storms of rage and tears of protest, the bad behaviour, tantrums and rages, to make life smoother FOR THEMSELVES, they give in. They claim it's being kind, but it's actually cruelty to the child, who can't mature into a responsible adult because the parents haven't shown her how, and have failed to provide an example of that maturity in their own behaviour.

Hey, I'm speculating - but I know that today there are many parents who find their homes turned upside down by a child who is out of control and rules the roost from morning to night, and the reason is always a lack of structure, discipline and order that the parents should provide, but don't. And we have a number of TV programmes "Super Nanny" for example, that clearly show the transformation in the child's behaviour once a few firm rules are consistently applied.

wimsey

Answer 3

Everyone can't be the same if that was the case life would be boring as hell. We got rich we got poor we got like able people and hated people.I could go on and on but you get what I'm saying. In other words it's her boring and doomed life so let it be.

Answer 4

Too many people nowadays have bought into the liberal "no right to judge" thing. Judging others and holding people accountable for their actions is what makes them better. Don't do it out of hate of course but out of love.

Answer 5

In about 5 yrs or so she'll be on Oprah, via satellite . Too large to get out of her room

Answer 6

they are actually abusing her.. they are contributing to her failure.. it only insures that she will be dependent on then for the rest of her life.. i graduated highschool, moved out at 18 and got a job.. i successfully live and ive currently started college for nursing.. teens and most people have adopted that 'i deserve this and this stuff is below me attitude' its sick!

Answer 7

Sick