as a new father i find that my baby tends to latch on more to his mother and reject me is this normal?

Question

he is 4 months old and always looks for his mother as soon as I pick him up. often crying to get her attention. when will this trend change sigh :-(

Answer 1

sounds to me like he knows how to wrap mummy round his little pudgy fingers!! It is amazing how young they try to get what they want with emotional blackmail. you would not believe it, but they do. When they cry, mummy comes, when they are hungry, as a rule, mummy feeds him, when he is wet, as a rule, mummy makes him dry, when his teeth hurt, mummy turns up with pain relief. Little boys do tend to latch on to their mummies more, and little girls to their daddies, this is quite normal. Make sure you are involved in all the things mummy does, like changing, feeding, soothing, taking him out for walks without mummy around, spend some quality time bonding and do not be nervous of your son, mum's are not the only ones with natural instinct, fathers have it too, so trust your intuitions and bath the baby, get some bubbles and blow bubbles at baby, feed baby, clean baby, bond, bond, bond, when you go for a nap, take baby too, play with baby, laugh with baby, it is down to you to change this trend, baby only knows what happens to him, you will be fine, have confidence in yourself. God bless.

Answer 2

Hey there is no need to worry most babies will cry for their mothers especially if they are breast feeding and they are near their mothers as they can smell and sense the mothers milk, there is always that common bond with mother and baby when breast feeding as the baby is spending this time close to the mother,however it will die out eventually, why not try ur wife//gf to express the milk and u feed the baby this will give u some quality time too it worked for me many many years ago(kids now 13 and 15!!!)

Congratulations on ur baby and best of luck learning the oldest and most difficult job u will ever have xxx
lol

Answer 3

It will change but you'll have to be patient! He's not rejecting you - he's just looking for the one person who's been there since time began for him. He's heard her voice the most since he could hear sounds in the womb and she was his very first smell when he was born and laid on her bare skin. She no doubt feeds him the most and the one that soothes and calms, cleans up and looks after the most! Cuddle him with your wife beside you so that he can still hear her but feel safe in your arms and do more with the baby as far as you are able - spend as much time as you can with him even if he objects when you first pick him up. If mum always comes running when he cries then he'll never learn that it's ok to be with you. Pick 'your song' whether it be a lullaby or something you feel comfy with and sing it over and over when you're together then sing it in the background so he can learn the association with you and know you're there for him too. Does he enjoy the bath? Get in there with him! Well, obviously run a big bath but with your wife waiting in the wings for safety getting in and out then it's great. I used to love that time together. Skin to skin contact is great for bonding. Open your shirt and lie him on your chest while you read to him and let him have a wee nap there. It all sounds stupid when writing it but it's tried and tested and it reaps great rewards. Have fun!

Answer 4

I know that it feels awful at the moment, but it is quite normal. It's probably mum who is with him all day and so it's her that he is more used to. Add to this that for nine months baby was part of mum, felt her heart beat etc it's a omfort thing. mum is what he knows best at the moment.

Don't worry - there will come a time when baby just wants to run around and kick a ball with you - not mum.

Don't lose heart - it is normal, be patient and wait it out - it's nice to hear that a dad can long for a good relationship with his baby at such an early age.

Enjoy him now - he'll soon start to do your head in. hehehehe

Answer 5

Spend more time with him. Babies need time with just daddy every day. Mom feeds the baby, spends most her day with the baby, so yes, the baby will tend to consider mom to be the #1 person.

If your wife breastfeeds, have her pump so you can do the after dinner feeding. When you get home from work, have a 2 hour window where you give 100% attention to your son while mom gets a chance to be child free. It will make a difference quickly.

Answer 6

nah that's just normal for him coz babies do tend to be more attached to the mums specially if the dad didn't had the luxury (or was it pain??he he he) of spending more time with them.always the usual cause is that dads had to work & normally they spend so much time away from the home so babies only have mums to look after them,or worse the grannies as well.probably too your wife showered him with so much attention & tends to be clucky towards him whilst you just give up easily when you try to hold him & he suddenly became a crybaby in your arms.try to spend a fair amount of time with your baby even when you're tired from work & talk to him while he's in your arms,or even take turns at feeding him if he's on the bottle & do the smooth talks as well while doing so(NO baby type of talk please,just talk to him as normally as you could)

Answer 7

The bond between a mother and her baby is something really special and much as you may love your baby, they will look to their mother first for now. The mother generally feeds, nurtures and cares for the child and remember, it has been inside of her for 9 months. As you child gows and becomes more independant (they think they are a part of the mother at the early baby stage) he will bond with you and you will be able to have a wonderful relationship with him.

Answer 8

Very normal! Especially if he's breastfed. If he's bottle fed then tell your wife to go take some time for herself and spend time with your son. He may scream for a bit but will eventually adjust.
We went through the same thing with our son. I went back to work at 6 weeks and my son screamed for hours each day for the first month or so until he finally adjusted to daddy.
LOL I don't even get hugs from him half the time now he wants daddy to play with! (nearly 4 years now)

Answer 9

Don't worry, your child will soon come around to you, a baby is generally cared for by the mother, therefore he seeks the mother, especially if he his breast fed. As he grows, his dependence on his mum will decrease and like all little boys he will soon be chasing after you to play football, etc.

Answer 10

Just wait...in a month or two, mommy will be a thing of the past. Babies go through phases when they just want one parent or the other. Although, if mommy is a real "mother hen", as in, always holding him, hovering at all times, that sort of thing, you may need to break her before his attention will be averted to you.