I am really bitter about my home country and I dont know how to get over it?

Question

To make a long story short. I have bitterness in me that I dont know how to get over. I have been to my home country of Barbados for years and it seems that everytime I go I get hurt by my so called friends or family. Like back stabbing and back bitting. My last trip to Barbados I realize its just not the ones who hurt me. But, the Island as a whole has some really bad ways, People there like to talk about other people I mean like everyone. And if your doing good they want to bring you down. If your white its OK but if your trying to make it as a lower income black person your not supposed to. Barbados is a very classes country. Also if your a forgeiner two things happen if your a woman for business or other wise every man just wants to take advantage of you. And this hurts I thought bigger of my country for years & to see the true picture really hurts. I have beknowned my family and my friends there. I live in NY & have no plans to ever go back. Just to get past the bitterness & pain.

I was born here in NY but I was raised in NY and Barbados. Put it this way, if Hurricane Dean was to wash away Barbados I would not care. And I know that is not good. I need to get over my hurt and bitterness I dont want that to be apart of my heart and my life.

Answer 1

It is a shame so many people are jealous of others where they have a need to put them down if they are doing better then they are.It's not just there it happens everywhere in the world. You need to find a way to get past that feeling because you are just feeding right into their hands.You make their day when they see they have gotten to you.My friend you really need to get around this because it will drive you crazy from all the worrying you do. Say to yourself over and over, know one is better then me, know one. They might think they are but last time i looked everyone puts their pants on the same way.

Answer 2

I used to feel the same way about my country and I always believed I would never go back there. But it so happened that I had to come back, I found a really good job and spent the last 9 months here. I still want to go somewhere else but not as much as I did before.

I guess it's good to realize the negative sides of your country and the people who live there. It usually happens after living abroad for a while and spending some time with people from different cultures. The hard part is to remember the good ones as well. There are many people on the other extreme - those who cannot stop showing off with their home country, about what they have there that others don't have and always complain about everything that is different. This is also a problem.

One way to overcome this bitterness is to spend more time in your home country, to abstain yourself from comparing it to the US and making any comments that would hurt others around you, to talk with your friends who chose to live there after all and about their reasons to do so. Also try to get informed about what happens in Barbados every day because things change - when you live abroad you tend to forget what the real situation in your country is and when you go back you only see the obvious differences, of course NY would look better in many ways. Also keep in mind that you don't need to want to go back to Barbados - you like the US better, it's OK. You just need to admit that you come from another place and no matter what, people should respect you for what you are, and you should respect yourself for that too.

Answer 3

I am sad for you:-(, its like that everywhere you go now...the rose colored glassed come off...and its a painful sight....but at least you could escape it...there is a bright side.