Several issues are going on. The first issue is money, he lives with his parents (pays $0 rent), has a full time job, but never has any money. His "friends" borrow money from him all the time and he buys toys...radios, car parts (he collects cars). I thought for the past three months he was saving money for us to have a down payment on a house but that isn't the case. Issue no. 2, he lies to his parents all of the time, he wants them to think that he is perfect, I am constantly begging him to move out of his house (because he says he's unhappy living there) but he's afraid of hurting his mom, so he has been procrastinating with this for the past 2 months. But he is in a rush to get married, I want to wait 2 or 3 years so we can both grow up a little before getting married. But I don't think he'll wait, he'll grow impatient and find someone else. I love him and he loves me but it feels that he loves his mom more. BTW he is 26 and I am 24
2007-08-19 11:04:15 · 11 answers · asked by Mags 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel you are doing the right thing because my husband and I have been married for a little over a year and marriage is no joke. Since things are like you say they are now they will not get better and if he don't understand that then may be it was not meant to be. Look at it this way there is major problems going on right now! Money is one of the major problems in the divorce rate now. Some men have their priorities backwards. They want their toys then the important things like the BILLS. If he really love you he'll wait! Please save your self from a major disaster because you guys aren't ready.
2007-08-19 11:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by sharon s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would lay out some objectives that he must meet before you can get married. Let him know that these are things you feel are important so that you can have a good start in your marriage.
If he truly loves you he will meet them. Tell him your fears about him not saving any money and him living with his parents. Let him know that you are not mad, just concerned. Also let him know about your concerns with him growing up. It sounds as if he needs to. He really needs to get out on his own in an apartment or something.
Good Luck!
2007-08-19 11:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by Pamela G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to say what you want. Personally, from what you said, I get the impression this relationship is doomed because you are not at the top of the totem pole and this guy sounds very immature. That''s why I recommend putting your cards on the table. If he splits, so be it; better now than getting involved in an unhappy marriage.
2007-08-19 11:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by Matt D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let this one grow up first. He will probably find reality a slap in the face when he has to pay rent, utilities and buy food. If he truly loves you, he will wait.
2007-08-19 11:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by RedTan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is tell him straight up and honest. Lay down your rules as you see fit and tell him these are the things that YOU need in order to feel 100% confident in getting married.
2007-08-19 11:14:18 · answer #5 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to want to wait to get married to this guy. You asked how do you tell him you wish to wait. Simple~the truth. If you want this guy to grow up and take care of business, then you need to be honest about his behavior.
2007-08-19 11:15:02 · answer #6 · answered by pattimaris1675@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you really wanna marry a guy who is capable of growing impatient and finding someone else.
2007-08-19 11:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by terliuke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get married now it sounds like the marriage will go down the tubes quickly!
2007-08-19 11:37:39 · answer #8 · answered by cin_ann_43 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to grow up. Don't marry him unless you are sure that he has.
2007-08-19 11:12:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, he's a little boy in a man's body.
2007-08-19 11:12:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋