He said he wants to make love with me but he said we can't do it because it would be very difficult on his situation (having a wife and kids) and he thinks that if we do it then i will become way more attached to him...i don't care if we don't make love as long as we share time/ moments together.. i always think of him.. as in i do think of him every single minute.. i don't really know why i'm feeling this way.. i'm getting married soon to my boyfriend.. sometimes i'm thinking that i only feel this way to mr. married man because i miss my boyfriend who is working abroad.. i'm definitely confused.. i still love my boyfriend and i want to still marry him.. i just want to share time with mr. married man, i am not thinking of pulling him away from his family because i also want to have my own family with my boyfriend-husband-to-be.... help.. i'm confused...
2007-08-19 11:04:12 · 23 answers · asked by ms. jones 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
What should I do?
2007-08-20 00:56:17 · update #1
please do not call me names.. some of you are just answering mindlessly just to get points here... i need your advise....
2007-08-20 00:59:14 · update #2
definitely clueless....
2007-08-21 16:17:08 · update #3
in all honesty.... your not ready to get married, and if this man will cheat on his wife, he would cheat on you too !!! your not totally committed to your bf, if you were we wouldn't be answering these questions for you......this man's wife and children, and your boyfriend WILL get hurt eventually......CAN YOU PICTURE YOURSELF BEING HATED BY THIS MAN'S CHILDREN, FOR HELPING TO DESTROY THEIR INNOCENT LIVES ?CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM LOOKING INTO YOUR EYES WITH HATE, FOR HURTING THEIR MOMMY????? .......IT'S ALL EXCITING NOW............BUT AFTER THE EXCITEMENT IS GONE, THEN WHAT? WHAT ARE THE CONSQUENCES???......best wishes......
2007-08-23 14:26:35 · answer #1 · answered by cherokee squaw 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the most painful situations in the world to be in. First of all, ignore the name callers. Judgemental people, dont have a clue, and make it their personal job to condemn everyone else. In this situation, I would say (since I dont personally know either of you, I will guess you both have genuine feelings).. he's afraid of losing something that is very important to him, but he's not getting everything he needs from his wife. Be it physical or mental.. he's obviously not completely content, or he would would not be wanting a relationship with you also. Again, he obviously cares about you, or he wouldn't be afraid to put you in a situation where you will be hurt. The heart wants, what the heart wants, and there is nothing that can be done about it, except allowing time to do its job. Just be careful and do not hurt his wife and his family.. which I gather is not your intention at all. I can hear that this is simply something between you two, and has nothing to do with your boyfriend or his wife. There are millions of people in the world, sometimes people choose the wrong one to marry on impulse, or they settle or whatever, but later meet someone else that is more appealling, and then they are stuck. I feel for you both. I hope that time will heal your pain, and give you a resolution to your dilemma.
2007-08-27 17:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by Charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are a couple of points of view to consider.
Imagine things from his wife's point of view. If you were married to this Mr. Married, he took vows etc. You have a family together. You're committed to each other for life. How would it feel to find out he was doing what he's doing with "the other woman" (you?)
Imagine how you would feel if you find out that your boyfriend/fiance is doing exactly the same thing you're doing only with a woman.
If you had a very close friend who was going thru the same thing you are, what advice would you give her?
There are married men out there who prey on vulnerable women just for their own carnal pleasures, then move on the the next victim. They don't care about the lives they ruin as long as they get their jollies. (There are married women who do it, too, I'm not man-bashing.) Trust me, from the point of view of the victim, you never recognize what he is until it's too late.
My advice: Tell Mr. Married to run along home to his wife and you should never give it another thought.
If you have issues with being away from your fiance for long periods of time, talk to him and get it worked out.
2007-08-26 18:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by SadNoMore 7 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you are unknowingly getting in your own way. You are about to make a huge commitment. Everyone gets cold feet. You need to know if this is what is going on, or do you really have a problem with the commitment? The married man is safe. There is no commitment issue. I think you need to search your heart to see if you are truly ready to make that kind of commitment, or is the man you are committing to? idk, but I do know it's something. Are you trying to sabotage a good thing because you feel unworthy? You may need some outside help to straighten your feelings out. I do however, believe you have your own answers. Try a writing exercise. Put your pen on the paper and write about this, do not stop writing even if you can think of nothing to write, write you can't think of anything, but keep writing about it, you may find some clues there. I wish you nothing but the best. hey! What about an invitation to the wedding? lol Best of luck.
Blessed Be, and may you find peace
2007-08-26 19:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think mr. married is just using you for his sexual urges... You know what i mean.... Men are really naughty even if they already have a family... You should control and compose yourself and remind yourself of all the consequences when you'll make that situation go further... i think you are just attracted to him cuz maybe you see some qualities from him of your father or any men that you idolize.... if you are getting married soon with your bf and if you truly love him then you should not crate a horrible mistake by being involved with a married man... You should stick with your bf a.k.a husband to-be cuz that will be better.... And for an instance, if ever you are really attached to mr.married, you will expect him to be with you always, and that is being selfish cuz , "What will happen to his family especially to his kids?"... And i'm sure that your family will not approve with this and you will have many nemy, like his wife, he will call you a home-wrecker and other names that aren't pleasant to hear... I just want you to really think it over and be more practical... Stay away from him cuz he will do you no good... he will just bring troubles and problems to you and you have to face this on your own cuz i know that he can't be with you.... gud luck...
2007-08-26 17:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sajiko 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This married guy is probably playing the field for some action, and probably has been doing so for many years. He is a manipulative rutting old dog. You are just the latest target.
Do not get involved! Steer a wide path around him.
On the flip side. Long distance relationships typically do not work. Pick up with that boyfriend after he gets back home, but in the meantime, find some other people to hang out with.
The fact that you are lonesome is making you vulnerable to predators like that married man.
2007-08-19 18:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Whoa! How do you juggle all this?.The married man makes the most sense.He could easily use you and throw you to the curb.Does your fiance know?He should know the truth. Stay away from married men with families.it's highly unlikely he will dump his family for you. Girl, you are not ready for ANY kind of commitment. Men are not going to fill " The empty void within yourself".....only you can. When you settle for crumbs ,that is exactly what you will get..Good luck.
2007-08-27 04:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by Flynn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Becouse you are going to get married soon, my feeling is. Your bf is over seas and you are lonely, a married man is already taken so you feel safe, thinking that he wont have an idea of wanting you forever. Don`t fool yourself. Don`t degrade yourself, and above all think of what this might do to your potential marrage. You are better than that.
2007-08-27 18:06:17 · answer #8 · answered by Tab H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said you don't want to pull him away from his family but that is what you will do if this gos on past just think about it. you have no right to go after a married man, you will be married soon and just think what it would do to you if your husband did it to you!!! you need to stay away from him as much as you can so that you can get over this. trust me it has happened to me with my ex-husband and my ex best friend and we just had a baby after 4 years of marriage. at all cost stay away from him!!!
2007-08-27 07:37:45 · answer #9 · answered by amber H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just from experience recently let him go. I found out I was the other woman 1 month after the fact and I am now 8 months pregnant. STAY AWAY!!!! Married men are bad.
2007-08-27 13:25:17 · answer #10 · answered by huntris98 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to back away from him. I'm sure his wife would be very upset if she found out about you, and I'm sure your fiance would be very upset if he found out about your interest in another man.
"Your feelings only matter to YOU, its your actions that matter to the ones you love" (the last kiss 2006)
The quote goes for both you and Mr. Married Man. What is going on is wrong, and it needs to be resolved, and you need closure, quick before the sh*t hits the fan.
2007-08-27 00:57:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋