Married almost 6 yrs and one child who is almost 5, he wants to leave me and take our son back home which is in another state. We are still at his last duty station and I work here. He hasnt work since he got out of the army but he collects unemployment. I thought it sounded like a joke untill he hit me with some legal facts. He said he has every right to take our son wherever he wants since we are not divorced and have no custody arrangements. He said he hates sharing the vehicle with me and that he wants to wait untill I find a place I can afford on my own and untill I find a cheap little bucket car to get around in. He knows my child starts school this month but he still wants to leave. Anything legal I can do?
2007-08-19 11:03:11 · 23 answers · asked by ang1492 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
see a family law lawyer. You need to set some ground rules quickly and the more legal they are the better.
2007-08-19 11:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by JLM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, here is the facts - he is correct - he can leave and take the child with him. You both have equal custody since you are married.
The absolute ONLY thing you can do is get to an attorney and file for your divorce IMMEDIATELY, and I mean at 9 am tomorrow morning you should be at a family law attorney's office with a retainer check in hand.
In the papers that get filed, you need to have it requested that NEITHER of you are allowed to leave the COUNTY YOU RESIDE IN with the child until the divorce is final and custody is settled. You also want it stipulated that HE has to move from your marital home.
If you don't do this, you could wake up one morning and find him, your son & the car - gone - and you won't be able to do a thing about it.
2007-08-19 18:17:00 · answer #2 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women almost always win custody of the kids. You better hire an attorney soon! And gain custody soon so kiddo gos to the school. He only knows army and cannot get a Job. And he wants to hang with the homies but he forgot 6 years and commitments. Got a good Church or any ideas how to keep this marrage working? Kids really need two parents. Army boy does not like the fact you can go it alone if you want to and he cannot make a living. Issues Issues. Keep the car too!
2007-08-19 18:15:39 · answer #3 · answered by John Paul 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Ang,
Yes, there is something legal you can do. Leave him NOW! Take your son and go to your own home state. File immediately for a divorce. Do not warn him. Take your money out of the bank, pack, and beat feet. He is correct in telling you that he has as much legal right to your son as you have. Your advantage is that your son is under the age of five and the Court would probably award you custody. However, if you fool around and allow him to leave with your son, he will. He will have physical possession of your son, and unless you can prove that it is detrimental to your son in some way, you may not get him back.
I cannot stress too strongly that you LEAVE NOW. Do not give any warning. Take the child and leave, or you will be alone and without your son. Good luck, hon. You've really got a short fuse burning to get done what you need to do.
2007-08-19 18:15:45 · answer #4 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is legal at this point. Until custody papers are filed, either one of you can take the child at any time.
The only thing you can do is get to an attorney fast. Do they offer legal aid in your state? Maybe some military assistance since that's where you are? Get to checking around quick because legally you or him can take that child anywhere and there's nothing the other can do until custody papers are filed.
Good Luck
2007-08-19 18:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by Tina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to court TOMORROW and file a temporary injunction to keep him from leaving the state with your son! Then call the attorney to get helping making the divorce legal. He wants your son to collect child support since you are working and he isn't...
At the very least, make a police report about the threat to take the boy out of state...
Good luck
2007-08-19 18:21:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do believe that while you are still married, he can legally take your child anywhere he wants to. But, once the divorce and custody proceedings start, this will severely hurt his chances of getting to be the custodial parent. The judge will frown upon that, that this man took your child somewhere without your consent. My best advice to you is to be one step ahead of him and go and get yourself a lawyer and do it now. If you cannot afford one, start calling family friends, anybody who might be able help you pay for one. Cuz no matter what, this sounds like its going to be a nasty divorce before it even starts and you're going to need one, anyway. Best of luck to you.
2007-08-19 18:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's right that if there is no custody order in place, it's not illegal for him to take the child out of state without your permission. But if he does, all you'd have to do is request that the court order him to return the child to the state, and such a request would likely be granted.
Talk to an attorney ASAP to see what legal steps you can take NOW to prevent him for leaving the state with the child.
2007-08-19 18:09:12 · answer #8 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes, he can. so if i were you i would get a lawyer, file for separation, and temporary custody of the child before he does that way even though you filed and until the separation becomes legal he cant do anything about it until the courts decide. also if i were you i would move out of the house, take your son, and the car the second you do file. also get a restraining order that way he cant harass you or or take the car either.
2007-08-19 18:09:11 · answer #9 · answered by george 2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Go to the court house right now and file for a parenting plan. Your child's custody is a separate issue from your marriage. They will give you information on a guardian ad litem, sign up for one! Contact an attorney, since you are working even if you can't pay in full most will offer payments. You and your common children are military dependents and your spouse has obligations to you and them in order to maintain his good standing with the military. Also pay a visit to legal aide on base, they can't represent you but can give you information.
2007-08-19 18:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by Morgan M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call the freaking police, my azz! What makes a woman think she has any more of a right to custody of a child then a man!?
If you want to stop him from leaving with your child, then beat him to the punch and file for divorce yourself, then he will not be able to do that since custody would be one of the issues that need to be settled by the divorce.
2007-08-19 18:13:52 · answer #11 · answered by bender_xr217 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋