I will be married for 15 years in sept. She is the only woman ive been with. I have always loved her and we have three boys. She has left four times I have our children and have filed for divorce. she was unfaithful the last time and I cant keep doing this! I cant imagine life with out her. Thats not to say I was always happy. She wasnt taking care of our kids or our house the way she should have for a stay at home mom. I felt like she didnt appriciate me. I just could never give up on her and hoped she would realize before its too late. I want the divorce to protect me and my boys future. I just wish there was a way she could be apart of it. So am i crazy!
2007-08-19 10:01:25 · 12 answers · asked by Hot Rod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One thing I forgot . I was the one that told her I was'nt happy. I had hoped she would want to work things out She acted like I was a bother . I did'nt know all of our bills were behind. I said some things I wish I had'nt. I asked her how many times her boy friend came home from work and saw her like I did. she looked just the way she did when I went to work that morning our house was a mess. As far as the kids go if they left her alone she was happy. She then said your never going to get over the past. She left the next morning.
2007-08-19 14:25:51 · update #1
You are not crazy. You are confused by your love, that's all.
You know in your mind that you are doing the right thing, but your heart tells you differently.
It takes time to realize divorce is the right way to go. Especially when you are the one crying (someone has to be the one).
Right now, you don't know what it's like to be apart from her. With time, you'll stop crying and pitying yourself (harsh, but true), and start to envy your situation over others who can't emotionally release themselves. You'll have so much personal divorce/marriage strength that you'll know what to do when the second situation with marriage presents itself.
Time!
2007-08-19 10:10:45 · answer #1 · answered by kNOTaLIAwyR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 7 years and been beaten 4 times by my husband and I'm now processing the divorce at the moment. therefore, please note I know exactly how you feel. I'm doing this yet i do not know if its the right choice especially when I look at my children (two boys and one girl). The eldest is 6 years old. I do not want to be divorced but if alot of people say I'm better off.. then I think I will be. When you're in the field, your coach have a better view of things than you do. So, my coaches are my parents, friends and family and even these people posting answers for you. All I can do now is pray for a better life. Good luck and be strong. This is probably what she needs to grow up. And what you need too to be happy. Love to the children!
2007-08-19 10:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by Klove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she'll always be the boys' mother, so she will always be a part of your, and their, future.
But even if you love someone, that doesn't mean it's a good idea to live with them. Your boys deserve a stable and safe home, and it doesn't sound as if she's ready to be part of that right now.
It may be that given some time out on her own she may get a better grip on her priorities. At the very least, being freed of the struggle of being your wife may give her the ability to be a better mother.
It's natural to be a bit torn up about the choice you're making. But you know what your best choice is right now.
2007-08-19 10:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by palan57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to cut your losses and move on. You are not crazy but it doesn't really sound like you love this woman as much as you are just use to her being in your life, because much of love is respect and her actions don't warrant respect. You are probably telling yourself you still love her as a way to justify continuing to beat this dead horse, when what you really feel is fear of what the future holds without her. She is what you know and divorcing is a very hard thing because it will thrust you into the unknown. Single life will be hard, but it will be rewarding. You will finally be able to focus on your own happiness and learn to have a healthy relationship with yourself, and then a loving woman in the future. Let her go. Marriage shouldn't be about feeling unhappy and feeling cheated all of the time. There is much more to a relationship then that. Just keep in mind, she is losing more in the divorce then you are. She had someone who loved her, but you did not. Her loss, not yours.
2007-08-19 10:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pay attention on how he talks to men as well, be open and honest and compare the conversations, there might not be any difference at all and it might all be your own jealousy and insecurities. A lot of women act like this about their men even conversing with other women and that is unfair. Friendly flirting is ok to a point. It also sounds like he has some insecurities as well, so maybe you 2 can come to some kind of agreement about your outside relationships. Trust one another and work it out, if one fails to communicate or cooperate, then dont waste anymore time and move on to a more mature person.
2016-05-17 09:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by billie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting back together is it really worth it? seems as if she has caused u more pain than happiness. is any future heartache with her worth it? if she was unfaithful to u than she didn't love or respect u. best to move on and stop even thinking she will ever be the wife she should be. she sounds very narcissistic and self serving and u deserve better than a lifetime of misery. she will always probably have a special place in your heart, but don't count on her realizing anything because she is selfish and doesn't seem to have a conscience or know right from wrong. u still love her, but u really need to face reality here, and see her for who she is.
2007-08-19 10:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly what are you trying to work on??? Divorce means divorce.........if she was not a responsible type person while she was being blessed to stay at home with the kids.......she is not going to be responsible now.
No, you are not crazy. Maybe an enabler....but that does not make you crazy. It makes you need to go to a single parent support group. We have all gone through periods when we could not imagine life without a significant other.....but we somehow get over the person and move on.
Keep your head up!!!
2007-08-19 10:11:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to be crazy in love. However, you should think about divorcing this lady because she does not respect you if she is not taking care of your kids and running around behind your back with others. For your own mental sake, it might be worth leaving the situation.
There is always other ladies out there that will love you unconditionally.
2007-08-19 10:37:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce her, you may love her, but she will continue to sabatogae you and eventually your relationship with your boys. How can you be You, if your always chasing her? You need to be the man you can be for your children, they need you now. Do you want to show your boys that it is O.k. to be treated the way thier mother treats you? Would you like to see them live a life of maritail torment? Let her go, and hope she never comes back.
2007-08-19 10:20:09 · answer #9 · answered by ~MB~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish the best, but your just a tad crazy.
2007-08-19 10:21:39 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋