Does lack of sex & emotion mean there is another man?

Question

recently my marriage has had more downs than ups. i have expressed my willingness to fix our marriage at any cost. i have requested forgiveness for my shortcomings and likewise offered to forgive my spouse. after 8years tg u begin 2 learn how people act, when they r excited or mention something or somebody a couple of different times. I asked my wife if there was somebody new in her life and she looked me in the eye and said no. she just had this weird look about her though, so i asked her if she would tell me if there was. she said that she would not tell me. additionally we have only had sex once over the past couple of weeks. she has apoligized and told me that it was bc her stomach had been hurting her at night. she still wants me to rub her back however i don't feel close to her, i feel very distant. in my mind even her kisses are a weak effort. does this behavior mean she has another man on her mind?

Answer 1

Yep, thats exactly what it sounds like........ although, is she tired from working all day?? Do you help her around the house??? Do you have children to take care?? if not......then there might be someone else......... ask her to go to counseling.......if she wont go, then YOU go........... at least you can say that you have tried everything to make it work........ and it you have to call it quits you will have no regrets.......

Answer 2

It could be possible.
You seem to be very willing to fight for your marriage and do show a very mature attitude.
You should ask her if she'd be willing to try marriage counselling, as trying on your own might not be enough.
Also, you have to understand that if you have been giving her a hard time throughout your marriage, just realising it is great and willing to win her back is fab, only she will have had the time to build some bitterness and dettachment towards you, and she might be grudging you and not as willing as you want to try and make it work. She might even be more angry that you think that she should because you have eventually decided to.
So, marriage counselling might help her get that anger out of her chest for a start and help both of you re-establish communication.
Now, it's not like a whole month has passed without you two being closed to each other; So, don't stress too much.
While rubbing her back try some foreplay just to relax her and re-build the fire.
When you do that, it's important that you remain focused on her, not on your needs.
Accept, and even refuse to do it with the intent to have sex. She needs to know and see that SHE matters to you, not just her body or what you can get from it.
Good luck.

Answer 3

Not necessarily maybe somehow you are not meeting her emotional needs. Maybe right now she just needs you to love her and not expect anything in return. The little things are what really count like calling her from work, Get her a new pair of earings, Clean up the house when she's gone I don't know just do something that she knows you went out of your way to do just for her and ask for nothing in return. You will have to do this for awhile with no expectations and here is my last bit of advice go to loveandrespect.com and order the cd sets for Love and Respect and Cracking the Communication Code by emmerson eggrich and most of all know that you can have a good happy marriage again but you must be willing to give and not expect in return (don't worry once she realizes she will be more than glad to meet your needs) Oh you might have to give it some time until she realizes these changer are real. Good Luck and may God bless you and your marriage.

Answer 4

It definately sounds that way. I can tell you that and back it up because I was in a similar situation only it was the ex's fault. He just was always busy. When I say busy I mean he was always on his computer making cds and burning movies for his friends, strangers, family. He spent so much time on there that he just basically neglected me. We would go for days on end, sometimes I think it reached weeks where we wouldn't have sex. I just started to lose interest in him and another guy came into my life little by little. I had more conversations with the other guy then him because he would tell me to wait a minute or later, etc.

After a long time he barely noticed the lack of effort in my kisses. The lack of motivation for me to cuddle and so on. That's what it was. I had someone else on my mind. Don't worry, I broke it off with him before I started anything with the other guy who I'm deeply in love with.

As far as your wife, I would do something special, plan an evening out, something wonderful and romantic. If that doesn't change the way she is acting towards you then it could very well be another man.
But then again she may need a little more attention on your end. Have you seen I think I love my wife? It's a movie with chris rock. I like the story, its basically about a married couple with two kids that hadn't had sex for months. In the end the woman was like why haven't we had sex and the guy is like woman thats what i have been trying to initiate all this time...lol...check it out
best wishes

Answer 5

Not always.

Do you have kids? I know I for one am less interested in sex after dealing with the kids all day. And heck, we're lucky if we find the time and energy for sex once a month, if not more (after 9 years).

Women sometimes repress their feelings in order to not cause more problems than they already have. She could just be sparing your feelings and doesn't feel very romantic because of other aspects of her life that are getting her down. Is she having trouble at work? More stress at home or in other aspects of her life? Have there been changes in your work schedule that might be causing more pressure on her and you're not seeing it?

The key here is to talk to her. And if you really want to save the marriage, look into counseling. But if she refuses to give you any response and just has no interest in working through the differences that have come up you may want to think about moving on with your life.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

yes she has found someone else and is thinking of him and is focused on him. she thinks of you as a hindrance to her happiness now. if you had a video recorder you could secretly conceal you would see that when you are not there she is an entirely different person. take a day off work but don't tell her, rent a car and park it at a local store/parking lot. go thru your usual morning routine as tho you are going to work and drive to the location you have your rental. then follow her if she leaves. if she doesn't and someone else arrives then you will have it on the video you set up in the house. a for sure way would be to announce a 'business trip' over night somewhere to her and instead of actually going you do this routine. her guard would be down thinking you are out of town and more likely less cautious about getting caught. if you don't want to take these measures yourself you could hire a private investigator to do it for you.also look at phone records, emails, and credit card records. the old saying 'go with your gut' feeling usually stands true in cases of cheating. like you said you know a person after a few years and can notice a difference in behavior, that's a tell tell sign. good luck, i would bet on a lover so prepare yourself.

Answer 7

Maybe she just isn't in the mood, but if it were me i would still feel the same way you do. From my own experiece when my husband acted like that he did have another woman. Many woman turn to some one elese when their needs aren't being fulfilled @ home Has she had any kind of surgery ? if so that has alot to do with it. It takes a full year to recover. have you suggested that she see a therapist OR a physcologist ? if so then there's nothing left to do. it"s up to her, but you can't continue in that environment. so much tension you can cut it with a knife. Been there done that. Life is to short so i would ask her 1 more time & then tell her your going to leave for awhile & see what happens then.GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Catch phrase-ology 101: Open the lines of communication. Get away for a jaunt. Reconnect. Make sure you communicate. Any other b/s line.

The truth is you are married. That is how married life is. When you go months in between sex, then worry. She is just being a wife at the moment.

Answer 9

Stop. Stop. Stop. Why are you apologizing? For your shortcommings? You are who you are, She knew that going in. Also, if there is another guy, you will feel pretty stupid for saying sorry. If it over then its over but don't give up your integrity. Don't bow down to her. Lay it on the line. Ask her if she wants you or not and if the answer is yes, great if its no then you will be a better man for it. Good luck.

Answer 10

As you have not stated your wife's age I am guessing, but it could be that she is starting to go through menopause.

I doubt very much she has another man, with menopause woman tend to feel differently toward having sex and they also have severe mood swings.

If your wife is in her 40's or older she could just be starting menopause.

Here is a great link that my help you understand what she is feeling and going through. It helped me immensely when I started menopause. I didn't know what was happening to me, my depression was very sever, but once I knew what was causing it I was able to deal with it and bring my mood swings under control to a reasonable level.

Things are not always as they appear at first glace, don't jump to any conclusions that you may later regret.

Answer 11

Plan a nice weekend away. When she is away from familiar territory, she may be more willing to talk to you. If there is another man, chances are, you will know sometime during that weekend. And if she has been having stomach troubles for two weeks, she should see a doctor.