I swear I answer more "is my significant other cheating" questions. Sometimes I sit and shake my head at the blatant signs of cheating. I had a situation where one of my married friends found another womans underwear in her bed.....and she asked her husband about it. He ofcourse denied it. I can't think of any reason another woman draws would be in a married couples' bed. Surely I would not be asking my husband if he cheated........the only question I would ask him is "did he hire a good lawyer"???
Do we fall so much in love until our ability to reason leaves our sphere of thinking?
I am not normal with my solutions to issues.....I don't think everyone was cut out for manogamous relationships. I think there are more folks who dont make the cut than we may ever know. It is just so against the norm to just be honest and tell someone upfront that you are not into manogammy. However, wouldn't that be the most honest thing to do...instead of breaking promises and hearts?
2007-08-19 07:34:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess the choice of being with one person for the rest of your life and being with many people is a choice that every person has to make. You're right, not everyone is cut out for a long term manogamous relationship. I think maturity plays a big role in that factor of life. Some people are just greedy and can't handle the fact of being commited to only one person. They feel that their life is not complete unless they have experienced a little bit of everything. Sex is sex but sex has nothing to do with love. I can't understand how some people can prefer to have a loveless, lonely life of sex with strangers over a long full life of love and happiness. I guess no one has the answer to that.
2007-08-25 11:02:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that just because people marry each other they should not take each other for granted. Some people tend to be all guns and glory when they're wooing but once married they suddenly go quiet and go bland with repetition.
This is when people justify it to themselves that they should cheat, that they deserve better, but are either too chicken to talk to their mate or figure they are paying back their partner for not making them feel special enough anymore.
Tiring. A lot of people truly don't understand what it means to be in a steady monogomous relationship. The newness wears off quickly and then you're left with what after the lust goes? Someone to talk to? Most people, after the hormones die down a little with familiarity, find they really didn't know the person they slept with/married.
Boy do they feel dumb. Then they go dumber by messing with someone else. Making a bigger mess instead of just cleaning up the initial one and either taking the effort and time to know the person first or calling it a day and breaking it off before the kids and mortgage come into the picture.
Whether monogomous married or monogomous coupled, it's not just a one day choice but every day. They don't say marriage is hard work for no reason. Marriage is an every day affair where both parties re-visit their vows and CHOOSE to STAY and be monogomous.
That's what happens when horny overrides logical thought. Not all of us think before we act. Call it being human.
2007-08-26 12:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by brilliantyetconfused 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a bi-sexual swinger. The concept made so much sense at first. If your soul-mate cannot meet a need, go else where. Have sex, or whatever you need at the time, and share that with your partner. It happens all the time anyway, why not make it something that draws you closer, instead of pulling you apart? I lived that way for a year. I swear I have done everything sexual possible, when that quit being fun, I started to feel jealous, I want to be monogamous with my husband. He couldn't live that way, and I couldn't live the other. We divorced. He even got so frustrated, he started beating me. I don't know if I answered your question, but this is my experience.
Blessed Be
2007-08-26 10:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of people in Texas in open relationships. You just haven't met any. Texas is also a common-law marriage state. Which means, you can start living with someone, then after a time declare yourselves married, and POOF! You're married. There are also plenty of nudist resorts in Texas. There's one in Porter, and another one in Boling, for example. Not that nudism has anything to do with monogomous vs. open relationships. There are certainly friends with benefits relationships in Texas. Probably most easily found on college campuses, but also elsewhere. I would say that it isn't so much the type of relationship that sets the bar for the man in that relationship as it is the quality of the relationship. Meaning, it's possible to be a jerk in an unsuccessful monogomous relationship and it's possible to be a jerk in an unsuccessful open relationship, but to have success in either type of relationship requires a better class of guy.
2016-05-17 08:34:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem isn't the issue of Monogomy...it is the mindset of the people involved. Sex is over rated...under rated...not rated at all..used as an emotional weapon...given as reward or punishment. When in reality...sex is the physical union of two people (once upon a time, used to guarantee the survival of the species). There may even be a biological culprit...Instinct...getting the best of the species for their DNA. The attention span is also a culprit. I don't have a problem being with the one I am with and ONLY the one I am with for as long as I am interested!!!! I am highly possessive and I will not share my mate! Sex is sex...add thought and emotion to it.......it becomes a choice only we humans seem to be able to do! So...monogamy is very clearly and simply a choice between two people. Some end up regretting their choice and wind up cheating!
2007-08-19 08:07:04 · answer #5 · answered by peggy m 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that our society has made us very ficcle. We see only the most beautiful people on the television and over time think that everybody needs to be a model or work in the gym for 3 hours a day to be beautiful. I haven't even been out on a date in the last 2 years without a girl playing the "dumb, cute girl" thing.... as if they don't have any brain behind their pretty face... I'm so tired of having to have all the conversation topics, opinions and humor that I stopped dating!
2007-08-24 12:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by Julius S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you exactly what the problem is Girls on the street and in the store walking around with hardly anything on, stripclubs , nudie mags, and t.v. Ever heard the saying the eyes are the window to the soul. Well it is 100% true half these men did'nt even go looking for it they just turn on the television and BAM! After so long of this and a rocky marriage some chick comes along telling them they are so great and there you go! (well this is the men's problem anyway) women are either not feeling loved at home or a whoremonger.
2007-08-19 07:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
To put it in simple terms - I think monogamy goes against human nature. We ALL (men and women alike) are instinctually programmed to procreate as much as possible for survival of the species. Religion has brainwashed people into believing that couples should be monogamous (possibly for the good reason of not spreading disease), but we're all animals and follow our instincts.... people who disagree - don't lie to yourself. I'm not condoning it, as infidelity in a relationship can cause SERIOUS problems, but don't deny that we're all attracted to each other ...if we weren't, there wouldn't be so many little feet running around!
2007-08-25 05:43:12 · answer #8 · answered by b0rnbad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems all of my friends have been dealing with this in one form or fashion lately. I read one article that said it was because the cheaters needs were not being met by their spouse. It made me so mad...Isn't that a little like blaming the rape victim because she was raped?
Anyway... I had it happen to me. I was oblivious to the signs...he started coming home from business trips and doing his own laundry and one day I heard something similar to that on Oprah so I began to nose around. When he was found out he filed for divorce and I have to say that I am so much happier than I have ever been. Who knew?
2007-08-26 14:11:33 · answer #9 · answered by zogetta3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its only meant if both commit to the relationship 100% and without doubt.the old saying nothing last forever true because we all are going to die sooner or later so therefore forever is out of the question but,when 2 people are truly in love and i mean the kind of love where you don't see other's sexually or as a possible lay but you only have eyes for them.is that possible,you are asking?yes,it is.i had that kind of marriage for 27 years and it was heaven on earth.he's now passed on but i hope and pray that someday i'll have that same kind of love i had with him.it was a fairytale and one i so want to experience again.
2007-08-19 08:16:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋