My husband always telling lies and keeping everything as secrets from me.He is a mama's boy and he is giving much importance to them and reveal everything to them only.(wonderd why??)...I am getting irritated when i found out anything wrong.I feel he is cheating me.I hate him these days..I tried to change his stupid character but still he is the same.
How can I change him to a normal husband? I am so upset now.
2007-08-19 05:13:52 · 30 answers · asked by prajula 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am an Indian and i dont know about his character b4 marriage..
2007-08-19 05:25:03 · update #1
You can't change anyone like that unless you have a stash of goofy chips from Stepford. Otherwise you are stuck with what you have. If he wants to do things differently and you ask him then he might change but unless that's the case you have the husband you have.
2007-08-19 05:21:51 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Look, hon, I'm indian,too. I understand how unusual it is to back out of a marriage. But changing your husband's character is only going to waste your time.
You can try changing his character, but
when it really matters, his true character will eventually show up. I know this must be hard for you, and I'm sure you don't want to leave him, but I think you have to.
You don't love him. Simple as that. And what's life without love? So go out there, and find somebody that you don't need to change, but never try to change him because you can't.
I'm rooting for you! :)
2007-08-19 05:41:23 · answer #2 · answered by Freddie Dearest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but unless he wants to change there isn't much you can do. You need to sit down with him and explain to him just how you feel. Tell him you feel betrayed when he confides in others before he will come to you, and that if things don't change he is going to lose you. If this doesn't shake him up a bit then it sounds like he could be a lost cause. Communication is the answer.
He might be surprised when you bring this matter up. Some men just haven't a clue when they are upsetting their wives. They just carry on as they always have done, without thinking, and expect little wifey to follow on behind!
I was married to someone who did exactly the same thing. After we split up he told me he lied to protect me! But his lies became a barrier between us and I grew to resent him. I am now remarried and started as I meant to go on. From the word go we agreed that there should be no secrets between us and we are still very happily married after 15 years. But it still takes some working at to keep things on an even keel.
Marriage is a partnership and both partners need to have some input to feel that it is worthwhile. Hope you can sort things out before it is too late.
2007-08-19 05:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by goldilocks 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should have thought of meeting him first before agreeing your family to hand you over to him for money. That's not a marriage, it's called something else in this country. Good luck changing him. It will never happen!
2007-08-19 05:31:15 · answer #4 · answered by ((♫♥♪♫♥♪♫ Shivers ♫♥♪♫♥♪)) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You CANNOT change a person's character. He was always the way he is now, and you just did not realize it when you became involved with him, and trying to change someone will only make things worse. Your best bet is to work on changing your situation, instead of changing a person.
2007-08-19 05:30:38 · answer #5 · answered by sixftrd 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you cannot change a persons character. The change has to be his and his alone. You may be able to promulgate or force the change but the changes will be temporary. Remember, our character is a learned thing and if it is already there for it to be replaced it has to be unlearned and relearned to the new way. You alone cannot do such a task as it is impossible but you can help him if he wants to. I personally would have to have just a ton of love for someone to even consider making changes like that but it is possible. I think that if that much love is there though, that a person could either overcome the negative aspects, accept the demeanor of that person, or find a new model. I would not attempt such a feat as it is virtually impossible.
2007-08-19 05:38:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a tuff one , with just one side to the story . Sounds like you are just wanting some justification, from total strangers ,to leave him. I noticed you used the "I ", 7 times , "me" , twice which indicates you might be thinking your marriage is all about you. I'm not defending him and you either because I don't either one of you . However,Anyone that would use a forum such as this to try and resolve a marriage conflict might best be looking else where for help. right now you are just looking for justification to bail out. GROW UP.
2007-08-19 05:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by Edit My Profile 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think most people feel that character is the core of your personality. You can change some behaviors (if you want to change) but not a person's character.
2007-08-19 05:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can't change him.
that is horrible that he reveals everything to his family ...
listen, stop thinking you are going to be able to change him... and ESPECIALLY don't hope he will change if you get pregnant. if you have problems before children, bringing a child in is only more stress and the problems will still be there.
2007-08-19 05:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
typical woman just as soon as you marry a guy you want to change him to fit your expectations, you can't, if you don't like what you got then do both of you a favor and leave
2007-08-19 05:52:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋