My younger brother (age 23) is struggling with growing up and becoming a man right now. He didn't finish high school, he has no respect for authority and it seems like he doesn't have a care in the world. He has a young daugther and he needs to step up a be a real father to her. He comes from a loving family. He is the baby. All his siblings went to college and have a career and take good care of their families, but he struggles. You can't say anything to him without it turning into an argument. You can tell he is ashamed of his actions, but he just repeats them constantly. We encouraged him to go get his GED and he did. We were so proud of him, but he still gets into so much trouble. He doesn't agree to counsiling and he doesn't think he is wrong . He still lives with my parents and is very disrespectful causing him and my father (53) to always go at it. They have put him out but he has no where to go so they let him back in. I want to try to help him before its to late.
2007-08-19 04:35:54 · 16 answers · asked by softbread23 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
A Bible...Going to church won't hurt either!
2007-08-19 04:39:12 · answer #1 · answered by C D 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Huh what? You are in no position to be in love with a child. It makes little difference how old your current boyfriend is, he's a child. You are a single mother? Who wants to be with a little boy who has no intention of having a family? That's wacko. And you don't trust your ex. How'd you get this child of yours? From neither of these guys apparently. Go shopping. At 30 you are just reaching the age where an intelligent, educated, interesting man with a good job would shop in for a woman who knows how to run a household, parent effectively and be a life partner. This is the age where things are about to get GOOD. Don't settle for what hasn't made you happy and doesn't work. I speak the truth... be the best person you can be and you'll find a better man than you have yet met.
2016-05-17 07:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Kite Runner is a really good book and i while it doesnt pertain to the same exact situation hes in, it has a lot to do with a father son relationship and the son not feeling like hes good enough for his father and being jealous of the attention his father gives everyone but him.... it also is a lot about making mistakes and dealing with the consequences and making certain things right after many many years.. in the end there is a child that the main character loves but must learn to understand
i think it would be PERFECT it is just subtle enough for it not to seem like a self help book... but it really is thought provoking and i think it would be good for him to read an inspiring book that is actually parallels his own life in a lot of ways
HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
2007-08-19 04:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by sweet_carofine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This really sounds like something that unfortunately he's going to have to realize on his own, and with the help of some people who arn't going to be afraid to have him hate them for a little while.
I have a sister in quite the same similar situation, baby and all, and it's really hard to watch, but you've got to allow them to make their own mistakes, however you've also got to leave them to pick up their own peices, because when people like this realize that it doesn't really matter what they do because there is always somebody to clean up after them, they stop recognizing that their actions have consequences for themselves.
Maybe your family needs to give him an ultimatum, if he wants to live the life he's living he really should be out on his own and not hurting his entire family in the process. If he wants to be irresponisible then it should be him that has to feel the strain when things start to crumble, nobody else.
There really arn't any books out there that cover this and trhat would help him, espcially if someone else gave it to him. This is a life choice that he has to make for himself after personally realizing that what he's doing isn't good enough for himself or his family and his daughter.
2007-08-19 04:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by lovely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would highly recommend The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic by Steven Covey.
2007-08-19 04:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by Save Money Dad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your folks are doing is called "enabling." (You knew that, though.)
The boy has never learned to stand up and take responsibility for his actions. Someone has always been there for him. You could give him all the books in the world, but he wouldn't be motivated to read them.
He has to want to change, and I don't know what the answer is. Tossing him out on his ear should do it, but there you run the risk of his turning to criminal behavior.
Regardless, he has to make some decisions for himself and to know that there are consequences and that one will help if he makes the wrong decisions.
The family could make it clear that they will be there for him ONLY IF he is making an honest effort. One false move, and he's on his own again.
2007-08-19 04:47:09 · answer #6 · answered by felines 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Will he even read a book if you give it to him? Sounds like he's pretty defiant. I think the best you can do is to love him but be firm with him, let him know that the family wants him to succeed and will help him, but only if he also helps himself.
**and I agree, The Kite Runner was a wonderful book!
2007-08-19 04:48:39 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl E 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wrestling: A commitment to Excellence. By Ken Chertow.
2007-08-19 04:40:05 · answer #8 · answered by Conor H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give him a bible. it might not be the answer but it may be a starting point. you could show him how his life is affecting his daughter. you could also read a sociology book, specifically the sections about children and how they are affected by their other siblings. i hope whatever you do works out. good luck
2007-08-19 04:45:16 · answer #9 · answered by tim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Save Me From Myself" By Brian "Head" Welch he gave up the life of a rcockstar to Kick Drugs, live a better life, and raise his daughter
2007-08-19 06:10:14 · answer #10 · answered by jay f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finnegans Wake by James Joyce.
It did wonders for me.
2007-08-19 04:40:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋