What do you think...?

Question

When most married women get divorced they want child support but if they want independance why do they ask for money from the Fathers/Husbands
now i understand that the Fathers/Husbands need to support their kids but it seem to me that most want a check to support their independants not the child and when the Father/Husband starts asking where the money goes most will deny the information. I think Child support should be changed to womens independance support and i think it should be banned and i bet the divorce rates would fall whats your opinion?
I know there will be smart@sses that will answer so go ahead but remember i would love some intelligent answers also

i love how Janica said its not the father's business where the money goes CLASSIC ! and heaven forbid a woman be in a marriage for the sake of the kids lol

Answer 1

i think the child support should be used to buy food and clothes for the child at the end of each year the amount paided to the wife and the amount the wife spent should be totaled and the amount left over should be refunded to the father

Answer 2

You know I can't say that there aren't woman that abuse the child support money but then again there are woman who truly need it.

As far as the sense of independence, it's not the main reason why woman seek divorce. If anything a woman wants a happy marriage i.e. happy family. Why stay in a relationship that won't work. I don't personally think it should be banned. If anything I think they should keep tabs on the woman that get child support and have them keep documentation of what they purchase with the money. Sure it's more work but at least its known that its going to the right expenses.

Like I said, I don't think a woman in reality wants a marriage to end. It just gets bad when there is no communication and of course the love dies because of it. Most couples give up so too soon, then again a lot of couples rush into marriage without fully understanding what it is. In other words, its not just for the sense of independence.

From personal experience, the few people I know that have child support use it honestly. I'm sure theres the counter though. There's always the good and the bad.

cc:

good topic, theres always the same questions, this is a little different.

Answer 3

The cost of two households rather then one is obviously greater. Getting a divorce is not about the woman gaining Independence. Perhaps the man was abusive, cheating, unloving, perhaps the relationship was just over, etc.

Child support is about supporting the child. That means putting a roof over their head and feeding them. Men can get child support as well if they can prove themselves to be a more fit custodial parent.

Often, the women sacrifice their lives and careers for many years to raise children. In this case the man must pay spousal and child support because the woman has less of a value in the job market since she has been out of work for so long. In addition the children deserve to keep the same standard of living they were enjoying with a two income household.

Why should the children live in poverty because mom can't afford to live alone and support all the children on her own?

I don't think the divorce rates NEED to be lower- who benefits from staying in a bad marriage?

Answer 4

I think that women who use their kids to extort money to spend on themselves are the worst kind of perpetrators. But I think if men want to know where the money is going then you need to go pick up your damn kids and help take care of them. You won't need to wonder where the money is going if YOU buy the clothes and YOU buy the food and YOU put the roof over their head and YOU drop them off and pick them up from school everyday. But if you want to sit on your lazy sorry *** while your ex-wife raises your kids, you need to cut the check and shut the f*ck up.
Malibuohara I feel bad for you. You are truly sick. I hope to GOD you don't have children or ever plan to. You have issues you need to work out with both your parents. I understand where you are though. My mom left my dad when I was 6 and most of my life I hated her for it.
However, my father never paid a dime in child support because he was broke and my mom busted her tail working 16 hour shifts at a time (as a correctional officer) so that me and my brother could lead a decent life. And now I'm a college graduate and my brother is the worlds greatest dad. My point is that you need to cut your mom some slack and stop being a misogynist jerk. You may not agree with the choices she made but she was the one that was there not your sorry a*s rolling stone dad. I really do hope you find peace with your childhood.

Answer 5

It sad that the world have women like that- spend the money on their self.......that's wrong.my mother did it although I didn't have a problem with it....but now that I think about it I feel that money should have went into a saving account for me so when I got older I could have had money to start my education.......but to late now

for as women putting on child support I see nothing wrong with that because some men just run off and don't do anything for their kids..although my father was on child support when I was 12 and up the first 12 years of my life I didn't know of him. He didn't want to be a man....and my mother had to hunt him down to let him know she needed help with me...... and he still wouldn't help on his own....so that's why she had to put him on child support

and I do think divorce rates would fall if the rules changed a little.

Answer 6

I think you will never undestand what it's like to be a mother and a true parent. That woman you talk about has to get up at 2am when the child is sick and still make it to work by 8am. That woman you talk about has to go up to the school for every function, hold down a job, keep the house clean, take the kids to their extracurricular activities, and deal with the kids every single minute of her life. The man....gets to play daddy every other weekend and then play single guy on the town the rest of the week.

1. It's none of your business where the money goes as long as the kids have clothes, food and a roof over their heads. If you wanted to control the money then you should have been a better husband and not made her hate you enough to divorce you.

2. Help out more..keep the kids more, show up when you are supposed to and be nice.

3. It's not about women's independence it's about supporting the kids you made in a lifestyle that decent for them. If you wanted to be selfish with your money, then you shouldn't have had kids.

4. If you don't like it, then you go fight and win custody then see how your life changes when you get to be "mommy" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next 50 years or so.

For those of you who say the difference between what is given and what is spent should be returned to the father, which is crap. There is a thing called college fund and unexpected emergencies that the money is saved for. It's called dental work, or the "he broke his arm at football" fund, or the he wants to go to medical school fund.

You people need to get real.

Answer 7

you're correct
keep in mind some women's goal is to marry well
so that when the divorce comes ( notice i said when not if.. ) the house is sold ( since usually the couple buys it together and it becomes a community asset ) and she gets half, plus alimony payments plus child support to set up her independent lifestyle
keep in mind woken who keep their last name and never change it are the type of "independent" women who usually file for divorce later, as the name for them is their act of independent inside of a marriage
some will wait until enough assets / income levels from the man have accrued ( business' as well ) before timing the divorce, and in CA once past 10 years alimony payments are lifetime.

the problem with the system right now is there is no accountability for dollars sent for support
it's not like there is a trust set up and the monies distributed get accounted for or coupons redeemable for child related items ( daycare, foodstuff, clothing ...etc... ) and are non cash bearing.. this would be the ideal set up and would eliminate the wide abuse and fraud that is inherent in the child support system. keep also in mind family courts are hostile to men and wrongfully assume that women are better caretakers / providers than men are, hence the lopsided judgments and custody awards overwhelmingly go towards women.
this is another reason why men should never marry
as you can have kids
and if you split up as a couple ( not a married couple ) there will still be child support
just no alimony

Answer 8

I agree.
Now, when my parents split up--it was my dads fault for sleeping around. And he had to pay my mom what they call spousal support bc he made three times the money she did...but once she moved in with her boyfriend, he didnt have to pay her anymore.
I'm 19 and my dad is still paying my mom child support? Pretty dumb if you ask me. You can rest assured I dont see any of it, lol and I'm pretty sure my mom isnt buying me anything with it.

I think that the divorce rate is rediculous, I think that there are too many golddiggers out there...and i think that wedding vows mean nothing now a days.

Also--if a man has nothing to do with his kids--ever--and never plans to...why should he have to pay for them? It was the womans choice to have the baby at all....there are other options if your boyfriend/husband is a dick.

Answer 9

I think the every penny of child support should support the child, not give the mother a new outfit, etc. Some mothers need the money, others just use it on themselves so I think it depends on the particular situation