I would appreciate any answer and I know there will be some rude answers, but I'm really in deep trouble and don't know what to do. Here is my story.
I got married when I was 18 to a guy I didn't really know. This was sort of an aranged marriage. I wasn't completely in the dark about all this but I knew at that time how bad my parents especially my father and the rest of the relatives really wanted this marriage to actually happen. I was young and stupid and I went along with it. It's been 8 years now that I am married to this guy and even though I learned to respect him and care about him after all he is my husband, I never actually loved him. We are completely two different people. He is 10 years older than I am and we have nothing in common. We fight all the time. He cares about his job and what other people think more than he cares about me which is why I am not really so attracted to him. Well this is not the whole problem. About 3 years ago I met a guy and we were friends for
2007-08-19 02:52:13 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Member since: August 19, 2007
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nana n
S What do I do Part 2?
I was friends with this guy for a year and than we started to develop feelings for each other. I couldn't help it I fell in love and started cheating on my husband. I tried to get out of my relationship with my husband but my father threatend to brake off all contact with me. This guy cares about me and we have been toghether secretely for about 3 years. I don't know what to do please help. This guy wants me to go away with him and i want to desperately but I'm scared.
2007-08-19 03:02:43 · update #1
We have no kidds, If it was all up to my husband we would have had kids long time ago, but that scares the hell out of me because I keep thinking that if I had kids there would be no way out, I mean there would but I would not be able emotianally to put the kids through hell.
2007-08-19 03:05:11 · update #2
Nana N- I'm hoping you find the strenghth to decide to end the marriage and go on with your life. I don' t usually just think that divorce is the answer but you've stated that you have never loved this man and have...for 8 years .... tried. You have only been able to respect and care for him but no more. You got into the relationship for other people ...not yourself. Now...you are an adult and have found your person that you would have chosen had you been able too. Reading between the lines here... I cannot imagine what everyday life must be like for you...day in and day out without the love we human beings need in order to be happy and fullfilled. Thats why I say...leave. If you should lose your parents support for a while ..than so be it. Yes, it will hurt but remember that they are not having to live life as you do. They are not walking in your shoes so it is easy for them to say" You can do it so just hang in there".
I recently lost three siblings in three years. One right after the other. THe biggest thing that I learned through that journey is that..life is way too short to continue trudging on unhappy and hoping that something will change to make it better. Many times...we have to help it along. Trust your self. Go with what your heart wants and just make it work. It will be tough but its not an impossible thing you are considering here. Make a plan to leave your hubby and do it with all the grace and dignity that you can. After you are free of the marriage that you did'nt want in the first place...go after your real dreams for this lifetime of yours. You only live once and will always regret your lost chances if you never try. Good luck and feel free to email.
2007-08-19 03:54:24 · answer #1 · answered by aknana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer, get a divorce. Life is too short to be in a miserable marriage to someone you do not love. However, cheating is never an answer. Cut off the relationship with the other guy until you are free and clear.
2007-08-19 09:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get a divorce and get out of the situation you are in and stop worrying about what your father thinks about it. You have a right to a happy life, and you certainly do not have one now. Do not waste any more time, life is too short.
2007-08-23 01:52:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't read all of your story, but I can tell you that I agree with the above poster who said life is too short to be miserable. Cut your losses and move on. Good luck with the new guy. I wish you the best.
2007-08-19 10:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
one thing i wont do is be rude,,,,,you took time to write for help, an i belive , we should try our best to help,,,, now i got to say i lay the blame ,on the parent, well part of it, but too, you got to take part of the blame, see you had a choice, what i say is, this ....if you an him can not get along, then it time for you both to move on with your life,an too it sound like he may be like you, for another friend,,,,life is to short to live like this,,,
2007-08-19 10:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you thought about going to marriage counseling? If you are trying to fix the marriage or are you asking if it is ok to leave the marriage? Only you can decide that. Do you have kids?
2007-08-19 10:01:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
All I know is, "it's ALWAYS the mans fault". Once you get your mind around that, the rest is easy.
When in doubt you can always blame Bush.
2007-08-19 10:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Get out while the gettin's good!!
2007-08-23 03:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. CT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋