Either the car or the credit card is paid and half of the other....he won't keep a positive outlook that this might be doable in January....I just really want to TTC! He already broke a promise we could try after getting married in July....because he made a $8000 mistake in October 2006....now I'm paying for it!? How can I convince him to try in January even if his goal isn't met? He seems to think it's all about when HE feels we are ready....
2007-08-19 02:43:20 · 10 answers · asked by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry. TTC is trying to concieve. I meant to post this in the pregnancy section.
2007-08-19 02:54:30 · update #1
I am 26 and he is almost 29
2007-08-19 04:00:21 · update #2
we lived together before marriage for 2 years so we already know we will work out an can live together...
2007-08-19 04:01:04 · update #3
LOL...ok....He might not be ready for kids yet. Though if you already had made plans and he made an 8000.00 mistake it was his mistake. You need to sit him down and have a talk with him. It isn't all about him. You are married and it takes 2....
2007-08-19 02:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume TTC is trying to conceive right?? If so it's probably because he doesn't want to bring a child into a relationship without being financially able to afford it. This is a major concern for men. Kids are freakin expensive!!! If you remove yourselft from the "I want" and look at the total financial picture, can you honestly answer that you would be fiscally able to support the child without having to going into major debt? Also if you look at relationship problems, a lot of the time it's due to money and he might be worried that the added stress of the increased debt will cause a problem between you. Of course it could be that he really doesn't want kids AT THIS TIME and is using that as an excuse, but you would have to determine that by talking with him. One possible solution is to sit down with him and work out a budget based on the additional expenses that the kids would cause. If you can show that you will still be able to afford it, he wouldn't have much of an excuse. Good luck!
2007-08-19 03:01:03 · answer #2 · answered by smf_hi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you might not be able to convince him. my husband and i also weighed a lot of the pros and cons of ttc given our budget and expenses. if you feel your husband is just creating excuses to postpone ttc, then you need to talk to him to figure out what is really making him hesitant. you don't want to go into parenthood with a partner that isn't on board, because it's such a stressful, life changing event. if the other person feels rushed or bullied into ttc, then the marriage will definitely suffer leaving you a single parent. if he really is just trying to wait until the finances are more settled, then that is a smart decision. you can never be 100% ready for a baby, but there are some foreseeable things (debt, bills) that you can take care of prior to ttc that make things easier. don't keep assuming that you can convince him to change his mind. his feelings are as valid as yours. if he isn't ready, then why would you want to enter into parenthood with someone who feels unready to make that type of commitment to a child (for any reason)? imagine if he continually tried to convince you to do something you didn't want (anal sex, threesome, etc)...eventually you would get sick of him badgering you, which would create hostility and resentment.
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2007-08-19 03:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just got married in July. How old are you? I can't imagine wanting to tie yourself down with a child already. No matter what your age is. Why can't you just relax and enjoy your married life for a while. Make sure the two of you are going to make a go of it, before involving a child. Give your husband a break. Pressuring someone in to parenthood is the worst thing you can do.
2007-08-19 02:59:28 · answer #4 · answered by janice 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't want to get pregnant without his full support, so back off. Just be a good wife, and maintain a great marriage. You don't want to bring a baby into a relationship where the parents aren't wonderfully happy!
2007-08-19 03:30:17 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not about him being ready or you being ready.. its about both of you being ready at the same time. Unless you are 30 or older you should stop the crabbing and just get busy working off that debt. He is not just a sperm donor.
2007-08-19 02:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have no idea what TTC is, but if he's not ready, you need to listen to him. If you can't wait, then move on.
2007-08-19 02:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a mutual decision so until both party is happy ;-)
2007-08-19 03:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy life without kids, no rushing it...
You will miss this part of your life.
2007-08-19 03:00:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Exactly how hard could it be to get your man to get you pregnant. Get off his back about it, then start figuring out ways to get it done.
2007-08-19 03:12:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋