My husband is emotionally cheating on me and probably physically too. I'm 7 months pregnant and am trying to decide if I should leave and move 3 hours away. I'm scared I can't raise my son on my own. Any success stories out there. How long will this hurt?
2007-08-19 02:36:45 · 15 answers · asked by Jenny D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My advice would be to first try talking with him and perhaps counceling... sweetie, it's not just about the two of you anymore.. you have an angel on the way.
And, though it is never okay to cheat, many men have during their wife's pregnancy... the woman is sometimes non-sexual and not available.. again, it is never okay, but does happen...
I was in a relationship where I felt that one day I would leave.. I could see signs.. I tried to work on the marriage, but ended up leaving when my daughter was 2.. and I still look at her and know how good that foundation of family was for her.. those 2 years with us as a family were very important to her (and she was still too young to understand how miserable I was)...
Just think about and realize how difficult visitation / custody will be.. that in court you two will probably cause wounds that will never heal.. that both of you will be living half a life with your child.. and how very very hard that is on both you and the child to come... Try to work it out, try counseling.... divorce should be a last resort.
2007-08-19 02:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Emotional cheating?
Cheating is physical and you don't know that this is the case.
What is true is that you are pregnant, vulnerable and full of hormone induced doubts and "issues".
You have 2 months until the kid is born.
Table this crap until about 8 months from now.
The most ignorant move you can make is breaking up a marriage right now. Have the kid see what happens after you have gotten back to near normal again.
You will probably regret this decision soon and your child may never forgive you for taking away his father before he even has a chance to meet him.
2007-08-19 10:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot ask any one of us for "the best advice ever". None of us here has the perfect answer for you but I bet if you were to talk this out with your husband...you could make up your mind with his help. Keep in mind that right now...your emotions are going through a crazy change due to the pregnancy so in my opinion...give him a chance before you do anything rash. Both of you are about to become parents and thats huge! Major changes are about to happen to both of you...I think if you left now and robbed your hubby of the chance to be a part of your childs birth...you would regret that so much down the road. This is his baby too and his interest in his own child needs to be taken into account.
IF nothing else...try counseling and be honest enough with him to let him know how serious you are. That your answer to your guys problem is to just leave if necessary. Hopefully that will shake him up enough to see that you two have some serious issues to work on and decide on before the baby gets here. Good luck.
2007-08-19 11:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by aknana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jenny,
Until you are positive your husband is cheating, you should stick it out. Women when pregnant will be on a emotional roller-coaster. It isn't a good time to make life altering decisions because they could just be miss-understandings along with hormones and insecurities. I would recommend seeking some counseling for the two of you. My ex was swayed by her mom to leave me when she was a few months pregnant, and I paid the price of having to see my daughter on vacations and holidays. I was guilty of nothing except her mom never liked me.
2007-08-19 10:05:45 · answer #4 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a girl who's never been married or pregnant, I don't know what's going through your head. But being a girl with a single mother and no father, it can get hard sometimes. You don't want your baby to have to wonder what his father's like nor do you want your baby to have to struggle with just having a mother and no father. When your pregnant, you do get quite emotional... I think? Just stay with your husband until the baby is born but don't let all this cheating continue. Talk to him and if you truly think he is cheating on you, investigate the situation. Does he hang out with a particular girl often? Try to figure all this out, but don't spy on him.
2007-08-19 09:45:51 · answer #5 · answered by Missy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you have any idea how many of us have raised our children on our own. What makes you think you are unique? You are 7 months pregnant, are you sure he is cheating? If you are not happy, GO. If you feel he is cheating, GO. A child is much happier and contented with one happy parent, than two who fight all the time, or two that don't love each other.
2007-08-19 09:55:09 · answer #6 · answered by Stardust 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its always an individual decision. You have to ask yourself whats right for your child also and your dignity and self. Overcoming obstacles is not the problem-its overcoming an shred of self doubt. Yes, I know of several-some while the child was just born, some when they were older-after a while things just get better and better-but sorry girl-its all up to you!
2007-08-19 09:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can hurt for a while but every day is a little easier.
I left my ex while I was 6 months pregnant but I went back because of the same fears you have.
It was the worst mistake of my life. It just got worse between us and harder and harder to leave. Leave now before it gets worse as it always does and it will be even harder after the baby comes.
message me if you need to talk.
2007-08-19 09:50:12 · answer #8 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey!Do you have a job and will you be able to finance your child?Well , basically money is the only problem there might be.the main thing is that you love your child,of course.My mom brought me up without a husband and Im not complaining.If you can live without your husband,im sure youll be able to raise your child without problems!Good luck!:)oh and by the way,i dont think you should wait untill your baby is born, because then you might end up,like many women,staying with your husband just because of the child.you shouldnt.good luck!:)
2007-08-19 09:53:41 · answer #9 · answered by Hodaya 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Face the facts.. this man is going to be in your life for the next 18 years no matter what you do.
Does he want to stay with you? How sorry is he?
Do not allow him to walk away a free man to go procreate somewhere else. Stick him with 50% of the on hands child care (shared custody) if you do divorce. This will give you time to work and keep him busy.
2007-08-19 10:02:30 · answer #10 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋