How would you feel if someone said this to you.?

Question

This morning, my mother gave me the "why are you not searching for someone to marry" conversation.

In the afternoon I bumped into a guy from an old job who basically told me that no one liked me at work and they always talked bad about me when I wasn't there.

The same night I went to a party and a guy I was having a conversation with asked me "So why can't you get a man?" left the party crying.

I can't believe all this has happend to me in one day. I feel like garbage. I am a really kind person, I volunteer, I take care of an elderly parent, I am trying to get into law school. I don't deserve all this.

Answer 1

I would feel bad..but then again you need to make yourself happy first. your not doing anything wrong..you need to enjoy your life...you only live once, It sounds like your a busy person. So here's the thing what you need to do..when you go out...hold your head up, and walk with confidence to let people know that you dont care what others think about you. because at the end of the day who is the only person that can truly make you happy? that would be yourself

Answer 2

1. Some mothers think that it is all you need to get married and that will make your life complete. They come from a different era. They think that you should get married to have some one to take care of you. Then, she thinks she won't have to worry about her little girl any more.
2. The guy from the old job sounds jealous of the people that you used to work with liking you. He wants to put you down to make himself feel better. He is probably feeling like an outcast at work. You can't put much in what he says.

3. The guy at the party may have had intentions that you misread or that he worded in the wrong way. He may have been interested in you and he should have said something like, "why would some one like you still be available?" He may very well have felt stupid about the outcome from his remark.
4. I don't think that you feel like garbage at all. You list many good characteritics about yourself. Your unable to make sense out of this knowing that it makes no sense. It's easily explained if you think about it. You don't deserve what you have allowed yourself to believe these things to be. However, what you have interpreted from the days events may be the wrong interpretation. We all have horrible things that occur in our lives that we do not deserve. That is impossible for us to understand. We just make the best of it and change what we can.
You're having a bad day, think it over and see if it looks different after a while.
Good luck!

Answer 3

I think I would feel the same way you have. However, people who bring you down like that don't deserve your friendship or attention. You are doing what you want and have set your sights on what you want to do with your life.

I'll give you these words of advise. First, I have been down the weight loss road - went from 310 to 248. It takes dedication and work, but don't ever loose track of your goal and always think "You Can". Second, I am 36 and went back to school to get by Bachelor degree in business. I am now less than one year from finishing.

Setting your goals and making changes to meet them can sometimes bring about conflict in your life, but if you follow the things that are important to you and your future, you will never go wrong - don't let anyone take that from you.

Keep pushing forward!

Answer 4

First off, be nice to your mother and try to add a little humor to her questionings, like I will find a husband when you decided to have another kid as wonderful as me. This just adds a little humor to a question that it very hard and uncomfortable to answer, as this will happen whenyour usually not looking or being pushed in that direction. As for your co workers, really, I have to tell you, that no body really likes anybody in the professional world, the important part is you must like yourself, these comments they make and garbage gossip, even if it might be true, is what it is Gossip. So please do not waste any more time on this. Just be you.

Answer 5

Well maybe you dont deserve it, but the lower you go the higher you can be. Meaning however sad, angry, depressed, or disappointed you feel, that makes it so you can feel more happy, joyfull, and engergetic then you ever have before. You cannot have joy without sorrow. So just push threw it, you will find someone when you are ready. Dont worry about anything, so long as you have a plan you arent wasting any time.

Answer 6

That's the way of life.Some times too many good things happen in a day and at other times just the reverse.Just a matter of chance,nothing more.Take a stock of your life and see what you can do to make things better.Mothers would be mothers,so leave that aside.LOOK UP and keep going.Good luck.

Answer 7

Sounds like all of your time is occupied, that's why you can't "get" a man. honestly though, do you need one to complete your life? Do you feel the need to settle down or are you just stressed because of the outside pressure?
If your mom gets on your back, throw out a sarcastic line such as "Maybe I'm waiting on a nice woman," or "I've found him, but he's tied up for the next five to ten years, depending on his good behavior." That worked with my aunt, who felt the need to get onto me about it.
Thankfully my mom's been cool with it. I've dated enough losers I think she's just grateful I haven't married one of them.
You sound like a good person, you don't need anyone else to complete you. When you find the one, fine, but what's the rush?

Answer 8

you need to quit going to the type of parties you are going to and maybe listen to your mother. when you mother asks you about finding someone to marry dont just blow her off ask her some of the places she might have went when she found your father she will give you good advice
plus my mother always told me this:
dont go looking in the trash dump to find a treasure good luck and God speed

Answer 9

With all the stuff you listed that you are doing thats probably why you honestly haven't met a man yet. Just keep doing what your doing and enjoy your life, you don't need someone else to make you happy.

Answer 10

These conversations from other people revovle around THEIR issues, not yours. Remember that. You are busy in life. All comes in due time. Remain calm and confident in yourself. Do not let others rock your boat. You're doing just fine in your life.