matter, if a woman says no thats the bottom line. Well she quit ...and my husband told me he did not , I had found a sweet letter to her from my husband appologizing but not to anything in particicular...i asked him why such a loving letter to her when i get nothing like that from him. he said an attourney told him to write a kiss a$$ letter to get back on her good side. I said fine gimmie the attourneys name and number and...he never did give it to me . The other secretary said the one that said my husband raped her said she may not press charges because she would have to go all the way to,las vegas for every court date etc. I told my hub if you did not touch her you had nothing to be afraid of and you were scared if you called a lawyer. not one soul INCLUDING me has any idea of did he or didnt he? I cant help but think if i am his wife of 25 years and i dont know that in itself is pretty damning in itself. I would like some advice and oppions should i stay or go? HELP!
2007-08-19 01:06:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
How would he know if my husband raped the woman or not??the woman says he did but is not pressing charges!!!
2007-08-19 01:16:25 · update #1
and an atourney for what ? i dont understand ..sorry...
2007-08-19 01:18:28 · update #2
spiritwalker....your getting to it ...how do you know a lawyer wouldnt ask him to write a letter like that that is the stuff i need ...i know there hasn been alot of "dates" before this. but have been told of her trying to seduce him...in the office ...by others...ps. i am in and out of the office all the time ....
2007-08-19 01:23:47 · update #3
you have a tough decision to make for your self. you have many years invested in this marriage so you have to ask you self what are the ramifications of leaving or staying.
first of all, do you still love him..if yes, then you need to make those decisions, if not, then you have answered you own question. no need to stay in a loveless marriage, even for financial ones...it will eat your soul away eventually.
if yes, then both of you need counseling as you don't forget even though you forgive, the hurt never goes away and sadly, it can contaminate everything in the future, if you let it.
from you wording, i think you know in your heart that he did something..i won't say rape exactly but something did go beyond what this woman wanted and he knows that or he would not feel guilty so i guess in a convoluted way, it is to his credit he feels badly for his actions.
an attorney would advise any client NOT to put anything in writing.
in the end, you are the only one who can say what you can or cannot live with. Good luck dear, i know how devastated you are to have your world turned upside down.
2007-08-19 01:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suspect your husband has been fooling around on you. If it's not that, something else is very wrong here. You may want to start looking through the cell phone bills and finances. Any numbers on the bill that don't look right? Any purchases that you can't explain?
Who told you the secretary says your husband raped her? I would think this accusation alone would be enough for your husband to be fired. A corporation is not going to keep a potential predator around - if he were to sexually harass or rape another women, then the corporation would get sued and sued big.
An attorney is never going to tell a rapist to write a letter to the victim apologizing. Because in a trial of this matter, the prosecutions key piece of evidence is that letter and it's game over.
A letter of apology is not going to make a rape victim feel better and get on her good side (at least my best friend who is a rape survivor, would not feel better by getting a letter from the animal who raped her)
There is more than meets the eye here...start snooping.
2007-08-19 02:44:13 · answer #2 · answered by Boots 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rape is a pretty strong accusation that the majority of women don't take lightly enough to claim they were if they weren't, let alone quitting a job and moving to another city; that is pretty drastic.
Agree with Spiritwalker, if your husband was accused or rape by his secretary, any lawyer is going to tell him NOT TO CONTACT HER AT ALL as anything he writes or says to her can be used against him in a Court of Law, let alone a "loving" or "kiss a$$" letter as that can be used against him. It sound like he is playing you.
You may want to hire a good private investigator, a licensed one and preferablly a former cop or detective and they will be able to find empirical evidence (copy of police report and any forensic evidence) for your piece of mind or to use in a divorce it the evidence points to him being guilty.
Would also recommend counseling for yourself to help you sort out your feeling and emotions and help to decide what direction you want to go with your life.
It is common for a wife to blame "the other woman" and calling her names as it is easier than blaming the true culprit, a husband that she has loved and built a family and a life with.
2007-08-19 02:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn thats a tough one... I feel for you ... being married myself hate to think I dont know my own wife... Think its about time you had nice long talk and show your reasoning why you believe he maybe hiding details from you.... I would hope after 25 years such a thing would not come between you two but if he still wants to be dogie... Maybe you should leave him for a bit, it will give him time to figure out whats more important .....Because if he did do this than he should have of all people have come clean to you........But to be honest... I kind of get the vibe he was having a romantic relationship with this woman and he chose to break it off and the rape thing was away to get back at him...Thats my take on this.....
2007-08-19 01:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by the_gunfighter_45acp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sound like hubby wanted more the the girlfriend wanted to give. Lawyers Do Not ask for the Defendant to write Kiss *** letters. Him not wanting to give you any details or defend himself other than trying to stay on her good side, should be your indication somethings there.
Now ask Yourself, how many late meetings, golf plans, have to meet a client have you've been told about?
How many times has he been late coming home, because he had to work over?
Go back to when all of that started, and you'll get a pretty good idea of when the affair started.
2007-08-19 01:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really comfortable answering this but I guess other people are going to so... Without having read the letter I think if you dont know whats going on and you don't trust him then well, it's probably already over. Only you know how a break up will affect things but my girl would be a speck on the horizon if I couldn't convince her no matter how long we'd been together
2007-08-19 01:20:07 · answer #6 · answered by Ben 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer, divorce him, take all his money now before he spends it all on court costs defending himself from the rape charges.
2007-08-19 01:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer...
2007-08-19 01:11:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋