I am 16 and dating a 19 year old in the Army. Am I to young to be considering marriage?

Question

I am 16 and a senior in H.S. My boyfriend is in the army. I live in Iowa and he is stationed in Texas. We love eachother and have talked about getting married. We are not engaged yet, and we haven't decided when to get engaged. He will be getting deployed in the April-July area and might ask me to marry him then. At that time I will be 17 and may/may not still be in highschool. If not then then he will when he comes back for R&R 6 months into his deployment, he will propose then. He says that after coming back from a war zone, he wants the rest of his life to start as soon as possible. I know that the millitary often causes people to get married too young. I face oppostion from parents and all other adults. I am looking for some positive feedback on ways to overcome that, as well as answers on the age factor.

Answer 1

Do your parents support this?

If not, you can't get married until you're 18. You'll need their consent.

Sooooooo.... ya. Contract law kind of screws you there, beside the fact that YOU'RE ONLY 16! Good GOD, wait a while.

Answer 2

Don't even worry about the age factor. If you guys work well together than don't listen to what anyone says. I married my husband a couple weeks before I turned 18. He's in the air force. You really need to think about how you will handle deployments ( there will be many!) and all the time by yourself away from family and friends. With my husbands schedule he's gone for 3 days at a time, then home for 2 or 5 days depending on the schedule and I get really lonely being by myself so much. I am 1300 miles away from my family and friends. So you have to prepare yourself emotionally for the time alone. Being a military spouse can be extremely confusing most of the time because things change often. You need to do your research before deciding to commit yourself to marriage and the military. Then do what you think is right for you. Being married and living on a military base is totally different than I ever imagined but I wouldn't change it for the entire world. If you have anymore questions you can e-mail me.

Answer 3

Will you take some friendly advice from some one who was married at 16 and is no longer married. It is possible to feel deeply in love at 16 or 17. But the problem is that you don't stay 16 or 17. You get older and as you get more experience in life, your ideas, your goals and sometimes even your values change. And then what happens when you wake up one morning and realize that the person you thought you were so in love with has grown into a totally different person than the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Your boyfriend is still very young and probably scared of the future if he is shipping out to a war zone. He will definately come back changed from who he was before. It might be better to get to know him all over again before even thinking of marriage. You are very young and have so much that you will be missing out on if you jump into marriage. My circumstances were a little different. My parents believed in teen marriages, but all my friends begged me not to get married. I wound up wishing that I had listened to them Your parents and other family members know what they are talking about. Technically, your boyfriend could get into trouble just being with a sixteen year old girl. If he loves you, he will be willing to wait for you to finish school and at least reach the ripe old age of eighteen. Don't sell yourself short by depriving yourself of the time and space to discover who and what you can become. You will never get these youthful years back.

Answer 4

Do not consider marriage until 1-2 years after he comes back from deployment. Many things happen during war that will change him from the person you think you know now and love. Tell him if he still wants to get married after you turn 21 then you will give him your answer. Until then enjoy the relationship. I did 4 years myself and he will not be the same when he comes back. He will need at least 2 years to return to civilian life after he returns. Then he may decide to make the Army his career and that is something entirely different. As for ways to over come this, YOU CAN'T. This is a mental thing on his part that he has to overcome and readjust to when he returns. The age factor has for you is something different. I won't even worry about that except to say you are not mature enough, old enough and experienced enough to deal with what he will be like when he gets back. I know this and I don't even know you personnally. Please trust me on this one. Have a nice relationship now, no pregnancy, and then give him at least 2 years to recover from deployment before you start talking marriage. From one vet to another.

Answer 5

You have your whole life ahead of you. This is something you need to be wise about when you want to share your life with this person. Think carefully because it can end in divorce, but I'm just saying. Can you handle at your age getting married being a wife and one day having kids or even handling your husband away a lot ? That can put a lot of strain in your marriage. I'm not saying you guys shouln't get married but trying to say to think at your age are your really ready to handle things such as bills payments, finding a house and all that stuff. You guys must talk this through first but so far you guys sound happily in love and the age factor...Dont worry about I know some married couples actually A LOT of them you has more than a 5 or 10 year age difference.

Answer 6

the respond is easy: you won't be in a position to. i understand this might come off precisely like your expensive previous mothers and fathers, yet there rather is an significant adulthood difference between an grownup and a youngster nonetheless in extreme college. The age difference does no longer oftentimes be a topic have been you on your 1920s, yet because of fact of your age at present day, there are a number of hormonal, emotional, and psychological advancements that are going on. only such as you should word that your friends of your comparable age act in a different way than people who're, enable's say, 12 or 13. I doubt your friends encompass 8th graders. If he desires to stick around and be acquaintances till you're 18, then possibly he rather is a great guy. If he does not choose to, or does not, then your mothers and fathers may well be actual and he's only too previous for you. Sorry to be cliché, yet your mothers and fathers have been your age as quickly as. And together as i'm specific you have very astonishing and unique attributes, you incredibly could desire to ask your self why somebody of school age desires to this ingredient somebody nonetheless in extreme college. My mom forbade me to this ingredient somebody who became 19 whilst i became sixteen. Thank god she did! On a proper word, earlier you attempt and smash the regulations for this guy ask your self this needed question: If he have been on your shoes, might he threat getting into subject for you? Disobeying your mothers and fathers could have outcomes on your place existence and kin, no count how small or huge, and in case you do no longer think of he'd do the comparable ingredient you're doing if he have been on your shoes, then in keeping with threat you should re-evaluate.

Answer 7

I can tell by reading your post that you are a mature 16yr old,its not as if you are going to get married tomorrow.I was engaged at 16 and pregnant and married at 18 (divorced at 19) but that was me.If he proposes in may you said you would be 17,by the time you get everything organized for your wedding you should be 18.Dont worry by the time of your wedding everyone will realize that it is LOVE.I hope everything falls into place for you.Good Luck.

Answer 8

You can get engaged - that is no big deal. If you are smart though, you will wait to actually Marry till after he gets back & you BOTH spend quality time with one another to make SURE that is what you want! Please do not enter into marriage at such a young age! This is not a simple matter..

Answer 9

i was 16 and going to get married too i thought i was doing the rite thing. but he was not the one for me. when you think about getting married do thing about what other people say if you really love the guy then i say go for it. i know it is hard i have been there. if you want to talk more just let me know
i will be happy to help

Answer 10

Why would you want to get married now? Ask yourself this. You are closing many, many doors to your future if you do. What do you want in life? How do you think marriage will fit in to your life ultimately. You might grow up to have a horrible middle aged crisis because you cheated your self out of doing all of the normal things, like having way too much fun. Really think about this......I think 16 is much to young.