Should I be annoyed that Hubby is getting "friendly" with young female coworkers?

Question

okay my hubby works in an Aluminum plant and he is a team lead there, he is 26 and we have been married 6 years. Well a week ago the plant hired 2 19 year old girls, Brittany and Nikki. Well he has talked about them a lot this past week. about how he talked to them about this and talked to them about that and he has actually been volenteering to train these girls. And talks to them on myspace and stuff. Now i am not normally jealous but when that is all i hear about, it starts to bug me. and to top it off, there is a house up for rent across the street from us and I guess he took them the phone number and they went to see it and now they are probably gonna move in across the street! He said "Honey I told them you would help them find things for their place and that they could hang out here sometimes when they are bored" I really don't wanna entertain these girls. I made the comment to him "I suppose I have to be nice to them?" and he said "Why not, they are my friends?" what do i do

Answer 1

Just say NO..you will not entertain, that thought and let him know under no uncertain terms, that he won't either. He should keep work at work and not bring it home, especially across the street. You do have reason to suspect something is going on. Let him know that you will not have them at your home, you have to put your foot down and really let him know, this is not acceptable. How dare he, disrespect you like that, as if you can't see what he is doing. It's your home, and you are the queen of it, and you ain't having these girls hanging around. It is time for you to speak up, and don't back down.

Answer 2

Wow.

1st of all, clear communication is one of the most important things you can do for your marriage. Definitely sit him down and tell him how you feel, no matter how hard it may be for you. You might get really emotional so I suggest writting down points on paper of what you would like to discuss with him. Keep your tone very calm and don't accuse him of anything, and keep an eye out for his reaction. If he goes on the defense, there is most likely something going on (non nesesarily the physical act of cheating, but he might be emotionally cheating on you) - much more than "friendship" with these girls.

His relationship with them is completely unappropriate. All his female friends must also be mutual friends of yours.

2nd of all, most of cheating happens in the work place. They spend 40 hours a week together! Unless they are just uncontrolable horn dogs, people fall into temptation and cheat because there is a need that isn't met in their relationship. They grow attracted to the person they cheat with because that person is meeting their need.

Is there a need that you think you haven't been meeting in your husband? Carefully examine your relationship.

For example: Men and women have very specific needs in their relationship.

Men need: Sexual fulfilment, recreational compationship, an attractive spouse, domestic support, admiration & respect

Women need: Affection, conversation, honesty & opennes, financial support, family commitment.

Is there a need that your husband has that you might not be meeting, and maybe those girls are? Thats is the key.

Also, ask him if you were doing the same thing with two MALE coworkers, how would he react? Would that bother him?

Please talk to him.

Answer 3

I guess, you should listen to your "gut feel". Some girls are just "uncontrollable" these days.

Be open about your feeling to your husband. Tell him that you are not comfortable having two young girls within his "circle of friends". Tell him how important it is for him to maintain his professionalism toward his two young subordinates. It is important to limit his dealings with the two girls within the confines of his work environment. There are office rules and decorum that should be followed. He is a married man, after all.

Be frank with him that you will not be comfortable having the girls as neighbors.

Answer 4

I feel a bunch of red flags pop up when I read this. First of all, if he is team lead then he really shouldn't be "friends" with his insubordinates. Also, as a married man, I think it's disrespectful to the wife to have female friends. This situation will only lead to trouble.

Answer 5

Well, I hate to judge unless i see the whole story, on both sides, but i cant,,

It sounds like he over doing his work to me,, My family comes first above even my father and mother,, thats how much my family means to me, i do joke off and on, but never cheated or hang out wih other woman, at any age,, as it wouldnt be nice to my wife,, i love her, so i must be sure i dont hurt her in any way, if something dosent seem right to you, then the odds are your right,, why would he make the one he loves upset,, some fools , well he's young, they think they can seek others its like a game to some men, really its a fake game so to say, he will lose the game...

just keep your eyes open and ears, if your upset why dont you ask him about it, tell him its making you feel odd and so on and you dont like it.. his reply would tell you whats going on, your not dumb,,, youll know where his heart is at either you or them,,,,,, plain and simple... if its not with you then is he worth it? i mean to have you live a life of unkown troubles,,,

stress and worrie is not love,, real love is forever and he will not put no one over you...... thats my point..

Answer 6

OMG I would just want to freak out. No, husband in his right mind should be doing this to his wife. I guess you could befriend two hot guys and have them call the number too and offer more money! Tell him that story and see what he says.

Answer 7

If you're hearing warning bells, listen to them. You know him. You are probably picking up on his reacting to them differently than he does with other people.

He may be attracted to them - but would never do anything. He may not realize their effect and won't understand if you try to point it out to him.

I would be honest with him about your feelings. Remember, you might be pointing out something he's in the dark over. But if he loves and respects you, then he'll pull back if for no other reason than out of respect for you.

Answer 8

Sounds fishy to me (no pun intended). My Wife would not let me get away with moving in a couple of hotties across the street. As Barney Fife would say, it's time to "nip it in the bud".

Answer 9

If you're feeling sure of your womanhood don't let it bother you. Have an open mind about it. They may turn out to be the best friends you ever had. Consider how you'd want your husband to react if you had a male friend. At least he's including you.

Answer 10

They may be his friends but you are his wife. Put your foot down! Don't just stand there all mousy while jealousy eats you alive. Tell him how you feel & watch them. The saying goes, "keep your friends close & your enemies even closer. You go, girl.