i want my parents to divorce?

Question

my father is from country side, narrow minded, very generalized. he works hard and saves money and $hit, but he doesnt care family from 'inside'. he always blame other people, especially my mother, for his faults

my mother is from city, open mined, out going, always cheerful and warm hearted. she's a stereotypical mom. and she's also my role model.

they arent ideal couple, but mother was almost forced to get married to him.
she really had hard life with him but she moved along without fuss. he always verbally attacks mother and i tell him not to. but i guess he think i'm still a kid(im 18)

mom asked me today about my opinion on divorce. and i definitely agreed. she said we need to watch how things go, but i cant take this anymore.
that man made my mother's life into misery, and yet he didnt appologized once

i feel pity for father, since he worked hard on his job to carry his family, but he i wont wanna see my mom unhappy anymore

should they divorce or not?

Answer 1

Be careful what you wish for.... Sometimes divorce is a good thing. I have a real problem with it when younger kids are involved and there's no abuse with the spouse. You also have to consider life after divorce for your mom. Is she going to be financially stable, both now and in retirement? What about medical benefits? Is she going to have to live in a studio apt, eating rice and mac and cheese? How are you going to feel when she starts dating other men? Women for some reason, seem to gravitate to the same kind of guy all the time. There's no guarantee that she won't end up with someone much worse. Of course her happiness is also important. If she's totally miserable, on a daily basis, divorce would probably be for the best. Personally I wouldn't offer her any advice at all other than telling her that you will support her regardless of her decision. If something bad were to happen to her post-divorce you would hate to have to be partially repsonsible for it and encouraging the divorce. It sounds like he's a jerk, but isn't really abusive, although verbal/mental abuse can be every bit as bad, so I think in the long run your mom needs to decide what's best for her and proceed accordingly.

Answer 2

I totally understand what you are going through. I grew up in a situation where both my parents were alcoholics and they fought all the time. It was really hard living in that environment and at times I wanted them to divorce too. I also understand you being hurt when your father verbally abuses your mom. You hate to see people you love being hurt.

I would recommend that you just be there for your mom whenever she needs to talk and needs a shoulder to lean on. Suggest that she get some support from groups or a counselor. She should also sit down with your dad and tell him how she feels about the way he is treating her. Sometimes people don't realize the hurt they are causing others. Also on a day when your dad is calm, talk to him and tell him in a nice and respectful way that he is hurting you and your mom.

I hope everything works out for you and your family. I will be praying for you.

Answer 3

You can love them both but you can't make the decision for them! Only they can know what is right for them. If your mom needs to end the relationship for her own sanity and safety and you want to support her, then do so. But you cannot be the catalyst.

Answer 4

your a dog your father worked his butt off to feed cloth and put a roof over your head and your just telling your mom she should divource him .the way i see it thats a decision for your mom and dad to decide and u should stop interfering in there marriage. and let them get together to talk things out to decide whether or not they can work there marriage out.

Answer 5

That decision is for your mom to make. She's stayed with him this long.