my fiancee wants us to take a break, and we just found out that we are pregnant?

Question

We have been fighting alot lately because of money (not enough of it) we have been living together for about a month and a half. we have a 11 month old son already. I dont work b/c i stay home and take care of him. Now my fiancee says im lazy b/c i dont work and help him out money wise. and now he is telling me that he is unattracted to me bc im an under achiever and he doesnt like it. and also he says he is not happy with me anymore he thought us lving together would change everything but it just made things worse. he hates that i ? him so much and he hates it. isnt the first few months of a couple living together hard. he says that he needs to distant himself from me so he can think about what he wants in life, but i can still live here but its going to be different. i dont know what to do b/c i fought with my parents for so long just i can be with this guy and now he doesnt want me? i dk what to do, i cant raise this other baby on my own one is hard enough to deal with

another thing is this is his second chance b/c he came back crying to me that he wanted his family and we got back together when our son was about 6months old and i stilled lived with my parents. and there he was crying to me that he loves me and needs me and he has been saying this to his whole family as well. how can he say that and then turn around and say he doesnt know anymore? why ask me to get married and move in together just to break my heart a second time. he says im to clinging i say i love you and i give kisses too much. i know its emotional and mental abuse b/c his mother has told me this already and she is very upset with him. but what did i do wrong this time? i did everything i was suppose to do this time right.

Answer 1

Well sounds to me like he doesn't want to take responsibilites. If that is the case then he isn't a REAL MAN! If there is absolutly NO ONE that can care for your first child! Look if he is giving you this type of treatment then let him go! I know it's easier said than done, but there is alot of help out there for your TRUST ME! Good Luck and God Bless you and your children!!

Answer 2

If you want an honest answer, then: The chances of you two actually staying together are pretty slim, and not because of your inability to have kids. Statistically speaking teenage relationships are very hard to maintain. Also, the fact that you left him because you thought you were pregnant is going to make him nervous. You could have told him why and at least taken a pregnancy test before you did anything so drastic. Now if it were just that you couldn't have children of your own but you were in a stable relationship I would be more inclined to tell you that he won't leave but your behavior and the age of you both being in play as well as that, my reassurances can only help your relationship so much. That being said, if he truly loves you, he wouldn't leave you over something like that when there are other options. In the future you could adopt, and depending on the reason the doctor told you he could be wrong. My best friend was never supposed to have kids and she has a 2 year old son. But I don't know your personal situation so I can't say for sure.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear all that.
Sounds like he isn't wanting the responsibility.
But remember, you're the only one in the relationship who is pregnant.
He's not going to have to deal with any of the issues of actually having morning sickness/or going through labor and delivery.
AND it sounds like he doesn't want to be there emotionally for you.
He's verbally abusive, and by staying with him, you will be emotionally drained.
Who cares if you fought with your parents for so long to be with him. Don't stay with him just to "prove" your parents wrong. Life is too short to put up with insults and ridiculousness to live like that.
Eat a little humble pie, and take your children and get away from him
There are a lot of really great men out there. You gotta get away from him first, before you can find one who will love you, not insult you and adore your children.
Sweetie, if you stay with him or not, you're still going to be raising those kids alone.
I bet your parents would love lending a helping hand with their grandkids.

Answer 4

Now you know what your parents were talking about. Hate when that happens? Well, the bright side is that you're having a baby! Congratulations! The down side...it's his. Don't let him take the joy out of this beautiful time. Whatever happens happens and your parents will not let you down once you tell them that they were right (wince) Focus on you and being a better you. Don't think about showing him and hope for a reconsiliation. Get out of this situation during his episode and don't come back unless he is ready to step up. If not, see a family lawyer and move on.

Answer 5

Obviously you know that having one child let alone two with this guy was not a smart idea. However the courts will make him pay child support. In any case though, you should go get a job and help out if it is feasible to pay a sitter. However, what he is saying to you is emotional abuse and you should not stand for it. He is clearly irresponsible and immature. Your best bet would be to prove how you can live without him.

Answer 6

GET A JOB!!!!!

you can try counselling, but it will still boil down to finances.
i think u should try to take up a job and be independant. being pregnant the 2nd time wil add on to the financial burden and needless to say your ever ready to cool off fiancee.

it is important to be independant in everyway, most people think that finding a partner is everything, which is not to begin with. it is the ability to be stable urself, and look after urself.

think of it this way u have 2 kids now and a lot to look after, u need him to chip in whatever he cans and meanwhile u get back on your feet

be stronge:)

Answer 7

Well if he doesnt want to be with you, you cant force him to be with you or to love you. What you can do is file for child support, one way or another hes going to have to support that little baby and your older son. Also I know there is something else but I forgot the name of it, but if youre not working he has to give you money its spouse support or something like that. Try talking to him and working something out, but if he insists then you cant really do anything but move on its going to be hard you will struggle, but like I said you cant force him. Most likely he is stressed because hes the only one working and the money is tight, plus now that you gave him the news about baby#2coming hes freaking out, but that doesnt give him the right to act and treat you the way he does, or did.

Answer 8

hun i am sorry to hear about this. it sounds like he has some wet feet. i would give him his space. it will be hard. i would also talk to your parents about this and make sure that you have them standing behind you one hundred percent. i would also move back in with your parents and or a close friend , relative. then look for a job and start working to support yourself and your babies. this will show your fiancee that you are responsible and also help build your own security if things do not end up working out between you two. best of luck

Answer 9

well it seems relationships go well until kids come involved because money is the problem. i have 4 kids and we have money problems too. but leabing is not hte answer to your problems. he is stressed out. my hub cause me lazy too and i stay home also the resason i stay cause its cheaper than day care and also we at least know where are kids at. try getting food stamps and wic that should help you out but he has no reason to call you lazy but when we are upset we do tend to say things that will upset others who are around us. but moving away from each isnt going to solve anything unless he has someone on the side.

Answer 10

You don't have one baby and one on the way,You have 2 baby's and 1 on the way.Your bf is very immature.I say get out now,Your family loves you they will understand,and help you.We all make mistakes in life.He is yours. So,you will be a single mom with two.That's better than 3.If he treats you as you said think about the effect on your children.Don't put them through that,it will only get worse.He wants out and now he will feel trapped,and you did it on purpose,its all your fault in his eyes.So, he will take out he frustration on the children and you.Its all bad if you stay with him. Get out and collect child support.