Why do i get so emotionally attached and obsessed in relationships???

Question

I just dont understand how so many people seem to just be so carefree and "laid back" about everything.

I dont see how people can be so light-hearted and just seem to not really care really that much about each other, even though they proclaim they do, it seems very much just on the surface. not going into too much depth ,not minding too much if one goes one way and they never hear from each other again. just "lol" and just not seeming to be on a very deep level in a relationship.

I seem to have a problem of coming onto strongly and very , I guess many would refer to it as "clingy" when i try to enter into a relationship. I get very attached, and obsessed about people I decide to get interested in , and i think about them constantly. and i get to where i think i am just really feeling left out, because i have obviously skipped a quite a few steps ahead of them and it seems to be scaring most , if not all of them away.

Why am i like this you think? (Honestly)

Answer 1

Perhaps you seek to derive too much of your purpose and emotional self-worth from your relationships. Many people do that when they put their relationships at the center of their life. If you don't have hobbies and interests that are detached from the relationship, your emotions become controlled by another.

Answer 2

I used to be that way also. I think there can be many reasons, and I am not presuming to know your "why". For me, I have found (I have had alot of years to think about these things) . I think in some of my relationships what I really wanted was someone to take responsibility for me and take care of me. Some call it being needy, whether it's clinging to your parents, sister, brother, best frient, or significent other, if all of a sudden that person doesn't have time for you any more or has other things going on in life, you can feel kind of lost and alone, that is not a good feeling so you need to find someone else to "need", and you can convince yourself you love the person when it is really that you need to be taken care of. What can help is to do things for yourself to become self sufficient, do things you enjoy or are interested in, and develope into 'your own person", so that when you do have a relationship with someone it is because you both have something to share with each other and you can enjoy each others company, but you know that YOU are still ok by yourself and are capable of other relationships.
.....Sorry for the long answer, I don't always know the best way to say things, hope this helps even a little. Best of luck!
Oh, and try to be thankful that you are the kind of person who is cable of deep feelings, life IS feelings. Not everyone has this capability.

Answer 3

I think most people do get attached but unfortunately in today's society, the "free love" attitude is abound. You have a heart, don't be ashamed of that. As for getting attached too quickly, I want you to ask yourself if your attached to the person or how you feel with them when you are together. I think when we meet someone, that excitement, butterflies in the tummy thing is great. I am not encouraging you to play it easy come easy go, like you described, but pay attention to the cues from your new partner, make sure your both on the same page at the same time. Good luck

Answer 4

I guess, you have a case of low self esteem. You don't feel complete unless you are attached to someone. It isn't a healthy relationship. You also seem to have ownership issues, when it comes to your partner... That is something that scares people away... A healthy relationship only possible between two independent identities ( people who posses self knowledge and self respect ). Sorry to say...

What you can do is look inside of your soul: find out who you are. Know that you are perfectly fine being on your own: you don't need a relationship, but you would like to have one. Relax and love will find you. Good luck.

Answer 5

Im the same way. Then I get hurt and learn my lesson the hard way. YOu cant trust everyone and thats the truth. Be careful and time will heal. Peace.

Answer 6

Maybe you are feeling like you have a NEED to be loved and you are overly afraid to lose it. BUT, the problem is, would be to try to loosen up a bit, becuase if you don't, you ARE going to lose the love that you are afraid of losing.

Answer 7

I'm the EXACT same way. I think its because we care about people. or we like the sense of closeness you know? someone who we know loves us.

Answer 8

i was that way, until i learned to be alone and im not saying this is you, but i had to take a long look at myself and learn to like myself more and learn that i can depend on myself. hope this helps