My fiance and father of my 1 year old is trying and trying to quit hard drugs. He went through rehab and has had 2 relapses in 2 months. He continues to want to try and I want to know when enough is enough.
2007-08-18 12:32:19 · 40 answers · asked by Kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel your pain. Literally. My husband of 7 years is an addict. Has been for many years, long before I met and married him. We have 2 children now. My boys are 4 years and 4 months old. He recently relasped (hard drugs) and since then has taken up drinking quite a bit. I have been down this road once before. Starts by drinking once a week, then twice and it builds and builds until he needs a six pack before bed every night. He also gets violent when he drinks and throws things all over the house. All the drinking leads to using drugs every time. I can't put my kids or myself through this anymore. We deserve better. My 4 year old already knows whats going on. He picked up on it really quick, and I never even said anything. I have filed for divorce (someone who never believed in divorce) We deserve better, the kids need a real dad. Never thought this would be my happy ending. Life is in the crapper right now. I hope it gets better for you. Keep trying until you don't have another try left in you is the best advice I can give you right now. Best of luck.
Angie
2007-08-18 15:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by angie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough was the first relapse. In order for "rehab" to work he has to WANT to stay off drugs. Obviously he doesn't.
2007-08-18 13:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs a rude awakening. If he knows you will leave him maybe he will wake up and really try. This is not a good environment for your child. It is very hard to quit these type of drugs when you are an addict. If he cannot commit to a long term rehab then he will have to hit rock bottom before he realizes that he needs to quit. Please think about your child before you think of him. He is an adult and your child helpless. Obviously he is only thinking of himself.
2007-08-18 12:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is leave him and get out of the situation. He needs to get through rehab on his own. You can love him and support him as much as you can, but he needs to help himself first and find the strength on his own. There's no one that can give him that strength. The addiction is within him. Find a safe and non-chaotic environment for your child to grow up in. Having an addict around your child is fool hardy and dangerous. When he finally kicks the habit and gets his life on track then you can consider continuing the relationship, but you are in a dangerous situation for yourself and child. Don't stop loving him but you need to separate. He will finally understand that drugs will lead to loss of everything including you and the child. good luck.
2007-08-18 12:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by mishle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety you have a one year old, dont you think enough is enough now???? RIGHT NOW.
i would force him into rehab, and wouldnt take him out, until he is 100%. I know how hard it is, i watch shows on intervention and stuff like that. Dont marry him until he is through with that crap. Believe me.
Try and move to another state, or area - where he wont be so much exposed to people he deals with and people he buys and does this stuff with...
Remind him he has a son....
Good luck it must be so hard...
2007-08-18 12:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting over the psycology and dependance of drugs is a family affair for you and your child. He must want to give up. He must want to stay straight.
Take him to the morgue for a tour. Also, go back to rehab.
Finally, the area that you live in makes it "suitable" for his drug use. He must have a different enviroment that is free of drugs and his friends or locals that can get it for him.
Time to move and far away... If he does not change then the child deserves a drug free enviroment.
Good Luck
2007-08-18 12:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to set your own limits and boundaries. Addiction is a powerful thing... and it's very difficult for a person to quit... of course, that's not an excuse, i'm just commenting.
If you have not attended an "open" Narcotics Anonymous meeting, perhaps now is the time to consider it. Narcotics Anonymous also has a website and i believe, chats.... just do a search for Narcotics Anonymous Chat...
I am sorry to see you're going through this... i know how difficult it is for you, believe me.
Do what you feel is best for you...
take care.
2007-08-18 12:39:17 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he has gone thru rehab, is he actively seeking counseling now? If not, he is not trying hard enough! Everybody has their limit, when you give up is up to you. So far it does not look good but you might want to set a time limit for yourself so you are not hanging out in "Hopeful" forever.
2007-08-18 12:38:15 · answer #8 · answered by Patricia A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the Alcoholic Anonymous book and read Chapter 8, it is written to the spouse of the Addict. You should check out ALANON. It is a support group for the family members of the Addict. They can give you support and advice. I wish you well
2007-08-18 12:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me tell you by experience i did all kinds of drug es and i try ed to quit several times until i didn`t just quit the drugs but all so quit hanging around the people that use them and it made a lot essayer to let go 3yrs now with out them and much happyer.
2007-08-18 12:43:56 · answer #10 · answered by k02scorpio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋