I always am trying to impress others. How can I change?

Question

I don't go to the gym to be healthy, I do it so my boyfriend will be more attracted to me.

I like to carry books around with my sorority's letters on to look intelligent and social.

I put a hot outfit on and will become obsessed with knowing who is checking me out.

I feel a need to tell others about my achievements (job offerings, high mark, a role in a play, a raise)

Why am I so obsessed with what others think of me and getting their approval?

I know I have a problem, please don't be mean.

I think that I am a decent individual. I feel that I do have self worth.

I have a lot of friends. too many if anything.

Answer 1

We were created to please God.

People are made in God's image.

When we don't understand enough about pleasing God, we become trapped and addicted to pleasing the most worthwhile thing we can.

You are not alone, I struggle with the same thing.

Answer 2

Posturing and purchase options clearly aren't the answer.
Respect is earned, sweetheart. Achievement needs to be seen, true enough, but not mouthed. You need to learn
when to address peers and superiors. You'll start this by swearing an oath. Good People will take you in-hand and
end results are usually uniform. Obsession is a good thing if you follow rules that regulate application. Its a jungle now.
Be all that you can be. See Armed Forces Recruiter.

Answer 3

working so hard to have it fix on the outside reassures yourself you have it within...to have people see & hear this helps motivate you to acomplish more...i think by reading your add-comments tells me your confident ...but view what you do as someone who is a follower not a leader...to me if you change your way of thinking & if your sure about y/self have a different attitude about it...like i go to the gym to impress my hot looking boyfriend plus look at these abs.. im hot girlfriend as you joke w/friends.. also with looking smart ...the sororitys letters nothing wrong w/promoting the house..& the standards it requires for s/one to be in it..how else do they get people to pledge... putting a hot outfit on well all of us women do just that hey everyone i am looking hot...look at me...and just maybe telling your achievements you really in need of confirmation is this good..or an opinion or someone to say good job.. and just maybe your not obsess w/gaining peoples approval maybe your in transition set patterns from high school going cold turkey into college finding this doesn't work anymore etc...its kinda like checks & balances weighing it all out in every area etc..until you graduate..but you'll get the feel for it & become a pro you already have tons of friends you have a head start... the point is if you thought any different on any of it would it really bother you as much...it could be look up to then frown upon if you handle it laid back & kool about....take the lead..

Answer 4

Personally, there are a lot of reasons from a psychologist point of view. Is it due to his insecurities? Does he want to control people's actions and feels unhappy if noone accepts his plans or his plans go wrong? Or maybe he has some family problems... Maybe he doesnt feel loved. That's a thousand over reasons.... Just look deep and find the injured soul lying beneath.

Answer 5

When you realize people should be trying to impress you.
It's not easy but try to realize what Jimi Hendrix said a long time ago"I'm the one that's got to die when it's my time to die,so let me live my life the way I want to!"
None of the people you are trying to impress is going to add a second to your life.
It's quality not quantity.
By being yourself you may not impress a bunch of people but you make great friends.
They're called "one in a million".

Answer 6

Partly Peer Pressure, Partly Good little girl image, Partly
growing up to who you want to be, You are aware of it that is
the first step to change and self assurance, It takes courage
to be true to self, regardless what others think, but it's worth
the effort. Blessings

Answer 7

I'm sensing your not getting the approval you seek from your circle of friends and family. Like you can't get validation from them, or they're not picking up on your subtle queues.

To break away from this, one needs to take on an attitude of "Society be damned" if you don't like who I am or what I look like then don't talk to me and don't look at me.

You stated you know you have self-worth, what you need to find out is why you're seeking validity from others. Once you know that, you'll be able fix it.

Answer 8

Remember ,you also doing this for yourself.You like to look nice,you want your boyfriend to notice your sexy body,you feel great when people notice your new outfit.also remember there are a lot of pressure on women these days.do not blame yourself ,i can understand you really well,because I'm the same.I even dress my 14 month old daughter in the most beautiful outfits so other mothers at playground notice how cute she is.I wear skinny jeans in size 8,so my friends notice how great i look ,despite having two kids. i do it for myself firstly,and love all the attention. we are just typical women,don't worry too much,at least you can say its your hobby.he he

Answer 9

Somewhere inside, you haven't yet learned to be happy with yourself. So you seek the approval of others to convince yourself of your self-worth. Start by determining for yourself (minus anybody else) exactly what is good about you, what you like about yourself, what achievements and looks are important to you and only you. Then work on building your life around those and you will attract people to you who like you for yourself.

Answer 10

You need to do for yourself first. Look out for 1#. That sounds selfish but it's not. No one else is going to do it for you.

Answer 11

We all have the some problem till we grow enough to know that what we think of ourselfs is what matters not what someson else thinks.