Do anyone feel like women's liberation was a mistake?

Question

Personally, I would have loved to have a man support me, while I raise the children, cook for him and, attend to his every need. Now I feel like I don't even have the option, because of women's lib. I don't look foward to the day when I have children, but have to hire a daycare provider to raise them, and work full time, and also take care of the house when I come home, because men aren't willing to support their wives anymore. It seems like women have twice as much work as before, and men have been let off the hook. Does anyone else feel this way?

Women get beaten now, they just have to go to work afterwards now.

Tell me, where are these men that are willing to support their families? I haven't found any that can even support themselves.

I'm not looking for a free ride, I just feel sorry for all the women who come home from working a long day, only to have a another day ahead of them for cleaning, cooking and childcare. The men come home and grab a beer.

I have a bachelor's degree and make 45k a year. I just don't want to send my kids to daycare. Why have kids if you can't raise them? I went to daycare and my caregiver abused me. I don't want that happening to my kids. I am willing to give up having a car, cable TV, and buy my clothes at Walmart to stay home, but no one feels this way.

Answer 1

Women's liberation is about having choices. I am a feminist, and yet I happily stayed home to raise my children. Women should feel they have choices, and that no one should be looked down on for making reasonable choices. Who are we to judge someone else? What works well for one family might not work so well for another. All members of a family unit must take into consideration the needs and goals of the others within the family. Being a family means you operate as a team. It's not a place for selfishness, as this adversely affects everyone else. There are women who choose to stay at home, and it works for them. There are those who need to work, and those who want to work outside the home, and the right for each family to decide what is best for them is a right that should be respected. Those outside the family system really shouldn't be a consideration in the making of those decisions. Women's liberation is definitely NOT a mistake. Women should not be forced into roles that they don't want. Nor should they be denied the same freedoms and liberties that men have.

Just my opinion.

Answer 2

Women's lib did destroy the importance of having a father and a mother. Now, liberated, independent women refuse to admit when they are wrong. We have a deeply narcissistic society in which all women do is find more and more reasons to hate men. Total freedom is not better for society as a whole, because society needs structure and guidance. We need a plan. Women's lib threw what plan we had away for personal gain without any responsibility. Or in order words: Anarchy.

Answer 3

Honestly, I really appreciate the fact that I'll be able to support myself financially once I'm out of highschool. I've always been independent, and I don't really like to depend on other people to support me when I don't need it.

Being able to work and not stay at home is important to me because I'm not going to have kids. I honestly have no desire to have children, and so what would I do, if I didn't have the option to work?

I do know what you mean about how both adults should have an equal share in housework. Which is why an important aspect of whatever man I live with will be that he realizes that since we both work to support our lives together, we both should take an equal part in cleaning and cooking (and of course he'll have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to have kids).

Answer 4

Who says you can't do any of this? If it's your choice, go for it! There's no law saying that you can't raise your children or attending to your husband's needs. It's just that some women don't agree with that, because everybody is different.

Not all men are the same either. I'm sure you can find someone who is willing to support you and wouldn't mind you being a traditional wife. I don't know if you're religious, but you can try finding a husband from an orthodox religious/conservative family or a man from an Eastern culture.

I don't look down on women that choose to abide by this role, because I don't think it's up to me to force other women what they want. I think it should be about choice. If you want to work, fine. If you don't, fine.

Answer 5

You're a bit selfish, aren't you? No one is preventing you from not working, you know. Find someone who doesn't mind. That's what the movement was all about. Women were given the right to vote, and to choose. I'm not saying that everything is perfect in this world, but I don't think you can blame the Women's Movement for that.

And let me remind you that poor women have ALWAYS worked: only upper- and then middle-class women didn't. So, if your husband doesn't make enough money to support you and the kids, then either you need to cut down on your spendings (do you really need that new TV?), or if you really can't afford to live with only one income, then you're in the lower-class category and even without the women's movement, you would have had to work.

Personally, I would love to be able to raise my kids myself, and stay home, at least until they go to school, and then find a part time job. But I probably won't be able to afford to do that. But I'm happy I was able to study other things than how to run a household, and that I can virtually do whatever I want.

Answer 6

Yeah you know OR you could get an education, save money and then have children with whomever you desire, stay home and live off the money you earned and saved.

Don't be so closed minded. The alternatives are there if you look hard enough.

Is it fair to expect a man to pay for everything? To have to go to work everyday while you get to stay home?

EDIT: a below poster made a good point about your possible selfishness, Why should women's lib be thrown out the window just because thats how you want it? What about the rest of us, we are certainly not preventing you from having what you want.

EDIT: Where are the men who will support you? In the bank. Some of their names are Hamilton, Lincoln and Frankilin. How do you get to know them? Get an education, get a Job, then they show up. They'll support you as long as you earn their presence.

Answer 7

I understand where you are coming from. When I was pregnant with my son, I thought I was going to be able to do it all. I was going to go to school full time, work full time, and take care of my family - with no problems at all.

Little did I know, it is not that easy. The first time I dropped my son off at the daycare center, I cried hysterically. I thought about him the whole time I was at work (he was only 1). It was terrible. I had to get up super early so I could us ready. By the time I picked him up and we got home at the end of the day I had to make dinner, then give him a bath, then he was ready for bed. It sucked. I felt like a terrible mother.

Fortunately, I have husband who is willing to support our family financially, while I take care of us in other ways.
My son is now starting kindergarten and I am so happy that my husband and I chose our family over money. Sure, we had to give up somethings to make it work, but it is so worth it.
Any physician, psychiatrist, counselor, etc. will tell you how important those first few years are. You need to form a strong bond with your child.

There are men out there that are willing to have this type of lifestyle. However, it is not for everyone I know a lot of women that want to work even when they do not need to. It is a matter of opinion and unfortunately for some women they do not have a choice.

There has been a backlash in the younger generations. More and more new mothers and wives want to stay home and take care of home. While many of their mothers and grandmothers are furious about it. Oprah did a show on it.

Answer 8

In creating a family, there are always going to be roles and jobes to adhere to. But it's good to feel like those jobs don't have to belong to any one person and that people can have choices in what kind of family they want to build.

As for your own situation. It's very possible for you to find a man with all these qualities. I assure you that while many men are lazy and no-good, there are a few that rise above the stereotype to take equal care of their wives and children.

Answer 9

No. I like working for myself as a Dominatrix, not feeling pressured to have get married and have kids, being free to date around, and basically just make my own life choices, because I can work for myself and not be dependent on someone else because I can't afford to support myself and live my own life. I do understand where you're coming from, and I do think it would be great if more people had access to better paying jobs so that a family could be supported off one person's income.

Answer 10

I think this is a healthy feeling. It's quite amazing to find some one who can view this correctly with all this media and illusion.

Yes, women got 'liberated' from some traditions but to be controlled by whims and desires in most cases.

Like other movements that did not use the light of God, whether right or wrong, valid or invalid, wanted or unwanted, women liberation was not gained till a very very high price was paid, and unfortunately it is still being paid. Maybe it's getting worse.

The real liberation of man or woman is when one submits his/herself to the will of God, otherwise, s/he will be enslaved by their own minds and whims and maybe others'.

It is said that rights to be "taken not given". However, taken from whom? This was said at the time it was thought that man has such rights. In fact, that was the first mistake. If man has no rights of intervening with others, i.e. women, then he should have not been asked to give any thing back. It's non of his business.

This is a matter of God. Woman gained her true liberation when she was GIVEN such rights EVEN without she claimed them. This took place in Islam. She was given her full right in the light of the teachings of God without claiming them.

Staying home is not an option but a right; working is an option. Man has to sponsor his wife and in many cases other women as well. He should afford the expenses of the life. He is not to do this as a favor, it is rather his duty.

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Some call women like you 'selfish' and 'lazy' directly or indirectly.

I think selfish women (like selfish men) are those who care about their OWN desires. They want to do whatever without caring about God's teachings. Man is selfish.

I believe that 'lazy' women are those who cannot do the home work. Working home (and raising kids) is the hardest job ever:
- Working 24 hours;
- No overtime;
- No breaks;
- No salary;
- Still you have to learn, educate kids and worship God Almighty.

That is why women look for 'liberation' to run away of this (of course there are women who have to work for many needs, that is fine). I have known women who do all this happily and still work, if they can balance this that is fine, they are super women.

Many people here are not aware of the statistics of women abuse every where. Remember, for each woman leaves the house, another woman gets in with a different name, daycare, baby-sitter, ...etc.

Old women are taken care by their sons; my mother is the Queen of the house. Divorced/widowed ladies are taken care by sons or brothers if father passed away. This enough motive to raise a good son who will pay you and his sisters back willingly and positively.

Girl, fight for your rights of caring of the main cell that is being destroyed in many societies, i.e. the family, the stable family. It is in you, it is natural.

Answer 11

No I don't feel like it was a mistake. Not every woman wants to have to depend on a man take care of them while they take care of the house and kids. I think women's liberation was a good thing. There are plenty of men still willing to support their wives.