Is anyone here actually happy in their marriage?

Question

All I see is people upset that they or their partner cheated, or they fight all the time, or custody battles. I could go on and on.
I would like to see some stories that inspire couples to have a happier, healthier marriage. How did you meet? Why did you choose this man or woman? What do you do for each other to stay happy? Or anything else you would like to add.

Mike: Maybe you choose not to see the happy stories because you are miserable and bitter. There ARE happy couples out there. I am merely trying to bring in a little more optimism. I harmed no one by asking this question. Chill out.

Answer 1

I was very happy. We dated for three years until she got her college degree. Four years later, she said that if we wanted to start a family we should start thinking about it soon. I said that I doubted what kind of father I'd be, but she said that the fact that I worried about that was a good sign and that she trusted me. Another year, our daughter was born. A half year, my wife had cancer. She told me two things: "I want YOU to raise our daughter. Promise me!!" and, "I'm glad this is happening to me instead of you, because I don't know what I'd do without you." She died.

I told our daughter everything I could remember about her mother and our marriage. It got rough in the mid teenage years, but I'm proud of her for getting a degree and what she's done with it, and think she made a good choice of a fiancee. We're pretty close. I don't think we'll ever abandon each other while we're both alive. We will each be there for the other. The marriage was sort of like that, too.

The importance of marriage isn't what it brings to you personally. It's how it grows beyond that. But you're looking for a bit more.

She noticed me at a college retreat where her cousin warned that I was a love-them-and-leave-them sort of guy. I had a reputation because of a recent dump. She ignored that and worked to make my friends her friends. She was there at the right time because that's what she set up. Everything fell together.

Yes, I would love to have it all back. But if it never happens, which is most likely, I have lived my life loved by a wife and a daughter. I will die with no regrets. Living, however, is a struggle.

Answer 2

Marie, thank you for asking this question. Yes, there are many happy marriages and ones that last a long time. What is lacking in society is the realization that when you marry, you are making a committment to someone; way too many people rush into marriage thinking - Oh - if I don't like it, I can get divorced. If you are going to have that mentality, live together, don't get married. Marriage is a vow; one not to be taken so lightly, and, it is a mutual effort. Your mate is not there to please you; to make your world perfect; only you can do that. Your mate is there to go hand-in-hand along the journey of life; to support you when you need it, to keep your confidences, to be that 'soft-spot' to lean on should you need it and to love you unconditionally. The reason people cheat is they think they never will do so. Life is long and during the 'downs' in marriage, you might feel neglected, bored, overworked; whatever - and this is the time to turn toward your mate with your feelings; not to someone else. Many turn to someone else for that feeling of 'new excitement' or ego boasting. If only they would have talked to their spouse first they would have found what they needed all along.

Okay - I have been married for quite a few years and both my husband and I feel the same as we did when we first met. I see him across the room and I just melt; he is so yummy and sexy and all. I tell him, the sight of you still brings out the desire in me. We treat each other with respect, kindness, and cherish each moment we have together. He is my best friend, my lover, my confidante and I am so lucky to have met him. He feels the same about me, but we do little things like call each other in the middle of the day to just say hi, I love you, or put little notes in each others car and we are playful; laugh together, very passionate still also. When you have the best, why look for any of the rest? Yes we've had down times in our marriage and, as I said, it was during those times that we turned to each other and needed the support and love the most. We do not judge, blame or get too angry with each other. When we tell each other the truth, we realize it is how we are feeling at that moment; not necessarily the truth, but it is how we are feeling and thinking; not blaming and ridiculing.

So far, I've loved being married to this man and know I will adore him as long as I live. Any relationship takes work, understanding and lots of faith and love.
Take care cherie'

Answer 3

Hi.....after being a divorced single mother of a two year old, at the age of 31, I finally met my knight in shining armor. We met at [e-mail]. He had posted an ad, and his was the only ad I responded to. We live in the Cleveland, Ohio area, and he happened to live like 2 minutes from my parents new house, as do his parents. He was one of those guys who was super sweet and intellectual, but also liked Harleys and had a skull tattoo...lol. So he was an interesting mixture! Anyways, he accepted my son and I into his life without hesitating. My son is now 8 and we had 3 babies together, too! A 4 year old boy, and 1 yr old identical twins! We are happy, still after 6 years, aside from some financial stress. I couldn't have asked for a better man!

Answer 4

I am in a very happy marriage. I met my husband when i was 13. We went to the same church, then we were "going steady" really when we were 16. People always look for the flaws in each other instead of appreciating what they have. We first keep GOD first in our life. Also we have good communication. There are fights that is realistic, but its just a misunderstanding. You will learn that when you find the one you truly love, you cannot be selfish, its all give and take.
Also overlook the small "quirks" as if you are not flawless. A lot of people thought we were too young, and we wouldnt make it. But i put in too much love and effort to loose the love of my life. Trust me if he cheats or leaves me it aint cuz i didn't fight to keep him.

Answer 5

I agree. Many posts here are sad and depressing, but if they sound sincere I try to answer..and perhaps help out. I am also very happy now...It's my second marriage, and his as well. I'm 43 and he is 50, BTW. We both feel so blessed to have this second chance at being genuinely happy and fulfilled...!

Answer 6

we met while joining the navy. i guess that since we are both from pennsylvania, we have the same sarcastic nature, and we hit it off. we make each other laugh a lot, and that makes the relationship fun. granted, there are times when things are rough, and there are arguements over money and bills, but that is every relationship. unless you are rich rich rich, those issues cannot be avoided. we are planning on having kids some day, but right now, it is just us and the dogs, and we are a happy little family.
don't know if that's what you are looking for, but if so, i hope it helps.

Answer 7

"No marriage is perfect , no marriage is happy 100% of the time , despite the problems or wether the spouse cheated or not , this forum is for people to vent , ask for advice and give advice".

"Before I finally discovered my husband cheated on me I was very happy , we went out with our kids on weekends and school holidays , we spent time alone watching television and movies and talking and cuddling for hours on end after the kids were in bed".

"When I started to notice him pulling away from me I bent over back wards trying to bring him back emotionally , I suggested more couple time , I gave him ways I could please him emotionally and physically , actually I still have 25 letters of suggestion in our communications journal of what "I" could do to make "Our" marriage better , he agreed to all suggestions of me cleaning the house , doing the washing , massaging him , he declined the marriage counciling because he was worried (even though he never said it out loud) that the councilor would see how he was treating me was badly and that the councilor would tell me which would prove I was right and then his little magical world would start to crumble".

"We're still working our relationship , he's more attentative now she's out of our lives , he know's he was wrong and he know's I know it wasnt my fault".

"You just take what life throws at you and you deal , we're here for a time on this planet why make it harder then it has to be?".

Answer 8

i'm happy. so is my husband. believe me, we've had our share of tough times and once, i thought we might not make it but, somehow, with patience and respect, we did. i can honestly say, i can't imagine living my life w/o him. i have no desire to stray. neither does he. sure, we argue and there are times when i'd like to shake him and say"WAKE UP" but, w/o ups and downs, life can get pretty boring.
i think, many times, couples give up to easily. they don't know how to forgive or move on from their anger. they hold a grudge and only think of themselves. marriage is hard work. sometimes you have to bend in ways you never thought you could. this goes for both parties. in the end, it's worth it.

Answer 9

I am very happy. People I think are more open about their misery than the good stuff. We think people are freaks when they go around talking about how good things are (what a candy-***, what a fruit-loop, how gay, etc.) but cool when they *****. We're not allowed to be 100% open with our feelings, period. Just how society/people/culture are. So maybe the really quiet people are the happy ones.

Answer 10

Happily married for over 20yrs; met my wife at
a bus stop after having left the beach, was
seperated for 5yrs before I got to know her due
to my job, when I returned she was still single,
saw her the 2nd day after I came back, then we
got to know one another well then got married.
During the seperation we only communicated
once by letter. So it someone is meant for some-
one time is of no essence.