My husband and I have a pretty good marriage, but their was a time in our life about 3 an half years ago that we almost split up. He had this job in a group home and you basically do what you want as long as the clients are with you. Their was this one woman who he was with all the time and they ended up messing around one night at work. I found out and not because he told me either. I was furious. I told him that I couldn't be with him while he was working there with her because I could never trust him again. We were at the gas station today and wouldn't he know we ran into this woman and he goes up and hugs her. I'm so mad and upset with him right now and I know I'm probably overreacting, but I don't know what to think.. He knows how much that hurt me and it almost ruined our marriage. What was he thinking? What should I do? I'm want to do the christian thing, but it's so hard right now.
2007-08-18 10:50:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's probably thinking a hug in front of you was a bad idea in hindsight. At the time I'm sure it was just an subconscious act. I'm guessing as soon as he did it he went "DOH!" like Homer Simpson! A simple hug shouldn't ruin your marriage. If it's that fragile you probably both need counseling to get this behind you once and for all.
2007-08-18 10:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mike 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No way! I would b going mad if i were u, u gave him a second chance and he's speaking to and worse still hugging her right in front of u, she's probably laughin in2 herself about it, But im not going 2 tell u 2 leave him or tell him 2 leave thats totally up 2 u but if theres no trust theres no point staying 2gether, sorry, hope u work things out x.
2007-08-18 17:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by justagirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he ended the relationship with her he should not have given her the hugs. if u have a good marriage now, and he is doing right, he needs to know how much this show of affection towards her has hurt u, and u will have to decide by his show of remorse if u really want to continue the marriage or not. what he did was like pouring salt on still open wounds.
2007-08-18 17:59:01 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is the "Christian thing"?
do you mean to forgive him?
Forgiveness doesn't mean letting him walk all over your emotions like that.
That was VERY wrong of him to hug her!! If he really wants to show you he is serious about the marriage, he should have known what the boundaries are that he needs to set with this woman. That means NO more of ANY contact with her.
2007-08-18 18:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes once trust is lost its hard to gain back, if u can ever gain it back, as far as him hugging her, that was a little to much, u guys need to have a long chat, there are some good men out there, not many, but some, life is to short to have tro live like that. good luck
2007-08-18 17:58:27 · answer #5 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have to tell him in no uncertain terms that if he EVER talks to, touches, or even THINKS about this woman, something hard is going to make contact with his fat, stupid head!
How dare he!
I would have been absolutely livid and he would not have to wonder why.
2007-08-18 22:05:44 · answer #6 · answered by haleigh's mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The christian thing? Kick him square in the balls and tell him if he ever touches her or brings it up again, it'll be worse next time.
2007-08-18 17:54:50 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋