8 Years relationship!?

Question

I have been married for 8 Years I have a new born Baby and the wifey not been very helpfull, all she dose is give me a hard time when i come home from work! she wants me to do stuff around the house and look after the baby. and all she dose is just look after the baby at home. she dose not work all she dose is to look after the baby, every night i come home the same story comes up again! what shell i do? I dont love her anymore but i do care for her! ;-( all i am tring to do is to support both of them but shes not making it easy for me! what shell i do? I dont just come home and sit my A** on the sofa or anything i just come home surf the net and just having time on my own! I pay the rent and all the bills and even her credit card bills which is i have nothing to don with it! what can i do? PS I love my baby very much.

The problem is i do make dinner for us ! and I do my own washing I bught the F**king wahsing mashing and i buy the washing powerder and everything, when i say coming and site on the internet I have been online from my home PC for about 3 Days only thats it! and i Do my own dish washing and somtimes i do my own cooking as she had her's already.

Answer 1

There are always tensions when a new baby arrives. Your wife is still adjusting to losing her freedom and her every waking hour is about looking after someone else's needs which is exhausting. Of course she needs a break even for an hour or so in the evenings! The reason your wife isn't working is because she is caring for your baby so please remember that when you decide that its you who is paying for everything. She is unable to earn as she does all the unpaid work in the household. You also need to adjust to having a baby - there is little or no time to yourself so surfing the net is a luxury you can only have when all the chores are done and the little angel is sleeping! Your wife will get back to her old self again when she feels supported emotionally by you. At the moment, she feels that you both made a baby but you don't take any responsibility for it. You just want your life to be the same as it was. That can never be. Children change every aspect of your life. Its time to face it and enjoy it! And well done you for sticking it all out. The love for your wife may come back when you both get used to being parents. Don't give up on your new family...just give up a little of you - its not forever!

Answer 2

A new born baby has its own shedule and as parents you have to work to the baby's schedule. Just looking after a new born baby is difficult. You are tired, you want to sleep, but just as you are dozing off, the baby cries. You never get into a deep sleep because you are waiting for the baby to stir. You worry that the baby is sick, you worry that it is not feeding enough. You worry that the baby will die in his/her sleep. Its not easy and your wife wasnt the only one who had the baby.....you had it together, therefore the caring of the baby should be shared. Your wife, understandably needs a break from caring for the baby 24/7. She is tired and probably wants some time on her own too. Her life is her baby, she doesnt have any time like you have to do other things. She cant just get on the computer when she feels like it to surf the net....she has responsibilities that need attending to. Does she do the housework and look after the new baby? If she does then shes pretty good because when I had my first baby I didnt even find the time to do the housework. My husband, however, was very understanding and would help me out. He would give me a much needed break. Your wife is not JUST looking after a baby, she is doing a wonderful job and you need to share in that responsibility.

Answer 3

Does she seem alright health wise to you? Do you think that she is going through a depression stage with your baby? Was she always a home body, not working or doing anything at the house? Something happened, and you should know if she is going through some form of depression or not. You have been married for 8 years, so what is going on? If you don't love her anymore than you should file for separation or divorce. It is always best that some form of counseling take place prior to getting a divorce, but that is up to you. You will have to file for custody of your child. There is no way that she can afford to support herself and the baby without some type of income, or financial assistance. If she doesn't want the divorce, and wants to fight the divorce, you could possibly lose the custody of the baby, and be required to financially support the child until the baby is an adult. Good Luck, I feel there is something missing from your question, but I can't put my finger on it, and have not a clue what it is.

Answer 4

Being a housewife+mum is a major job on its own. Why not try and install a camera at home and you will be amazed. A kid is hard work and needs both parents help. Your wife has had her fair share at home which is why u shd take over and take an interest if u say u love the kid. you cant just say u love t kid u have to SHOW it. hv u considered yr wife has she given up her job to raise your child as well. many women give up this , men don't appreciate n later find it v hard to re enter employment. i know its hard for u as well but the fact is well just do the hidden camera thing. i think u r being v selfish by saying all she does is look after t kid.

Answer 5

i think YOU need a head check....

she's a full time mother which is equal to having 2 full time jobs.

she's looking after your child, she's look after you home.

but don't think just because you pay the bills and you're the breadmaker in the family does not mean you do not have responsibilities in your own home.

why not help out when you get home from work, beleive me, she's exhausted all energy by the time you get home from work, picking up your dirty underwear, washing them, removing any stains that may be there, and do u think it is an easy task to look after your child all day, along with running errands, making sure there is food in the cupboards, making sure some kind of meal is ready for you homecoming, making sure you come home to a HOME and not a shelter!!!

look at your own actions and look at what she has to do all day. She gets no piece of mind, at least you get away from your wife and child for a few hours (no screaming crying baby trying to tell you what he/she wants all day)

sounds to me you're pretty selfish, come home sit and play on your computer while you have a family that looks to you for support and understanding and courage. There are real people in your home, try paying attention to them.

This is the internet where people you meet on the internet randomly have no structure in your own home/life.

so try stepping back and put yourself in your families shoes instead of thinking just about yourself.

Answer 6

Get you head together man, you are not a child; you are a grown man with responsibilities, and that includes helping to raise your baby. Do you really think that paying the bills makes you a good father?Loving you baby means spending time with him or her, playing or games, giving your wife a break from the exhaustion of being with a small baby all day every day.
Grow up.

Answer 7

Your wife has just had a baby and has all sorts of hormones running through her veins ."just looking after the baby?" It is more than a full time job doing just that sweetie! You need to grow up a bit and accept your responsibilities.You made this baby together and you should BOTH be doing your bit to nurture it,its not just down to the mum , even if she is not "working" at the moment!Sorry if i sound harsh but think about what ive said and maybe you will begin to understand just what your wife is going through!

Answer 8

give your wife a break think i would rather go to work than look after a screaming demanding new born baby evey day, do you realise how much attention and time they need, give your wife some respect think what she has just been through. if you dont love her then you should not have had a child with her thats not fair on the child as all you will do it argue.
sorry but your the selfish one

Answer 9

Sorry but being a mum is a full time job, who gets up through the nite with the baby etc, and as 4 u dnt *** home an sit on ur ar** on the sofa, ur just sitting on ur ar** in front of the computer instead wats the difference? If u dnt love her tell her, how u feel, and decide wat 2 do between u both.

Answer 10

DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO COPE WITH A CHILD ALL DAY ON YOUR OWN??

grrrrrrrrr ppl like you make me soo angry.

she doesnt sit on her bum all day, she watches your child , when its screaming , when its hungry when it needs attention which new borns need all the time, if you dont love her leave her YOU SELFISH MAN.

just leave her she would get on better anyway without you

in response to your additional details

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW BOOO HOOO POOR YOU ONLY 3 DAYS TO SPEND ON THE INTERNET SO FAR. GIVE YOUR WIFE A BREAK AND LET HER BROWSE THE INTERNET FOR 3 DAYS, I BOUGHT THE WASHING MACHINE OO THAT WAS NICE OF YOU ! WHO FILLS IT AND STARTS IT PROBABLY 3 TIMES A DAY? I BET ITS NOT YOU